For Better or For Worse
by All-For-You-Sophia
Summary: All Willow ever wanted was for Barty to notice her. When her wish comes true he changes her life forever. But is it for the better or for worse? Barty Crouch Jr./OC
1. The Winds of Change

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related.**

Willow Wilson had a spring in her step today. It was the first day of classes in her fifth year at Hogwarts, and she was heading to the first Potions lesson of the year. Excitement swelled inside her, but not for whatever love she might posses for potions. It was a love for something else entirely.

Early that morning, as she sat at the Ravenclaw table, the news reached them that that fifth year Ravenclaw's were to take Potions with Slytherin. Everyone around her had groaned in displeasure while she had half-heartedly moaned with them while on the inside she was glowing. For two years now she had been nursing a crush on Slytherin boy Bartemius Crouch Jr. He was very handsome and decently nice considering he was a Slytherin. He accidently ran into her once in the hallway and he had actually said sorry, unlike how the rest of his house would have done. Maybe this year he would properly notice her. That's all she wanted. Was that too much to ask?

She was one of the first in the Potions classroom, and she immediately took a seat at the front of the class. Not that she particularly liked sitting at the front of the room but she knew from the other classes she had taken with the Slytherins that Barty liked to sit at the front. One thing she had noticed about him from the many hours she put to trying not to let anyone notice her staring at him, that he loved attention and strived to be noticed.

It wasn't soon after she arrived that the rest of the class began to file in. She tried not to anxiously look around herself even though it was in vein. She knew very well that the Slytherins kept to themselves and so did the Ravenclaw's… at least in classes where the two were mixed. Two Ravenclaw girls took the other front desk next to her and she tried not to let her indiffrent exspression falter.

Barty was one of the last to enter the room with Bellatrix, his other half as it was often said, at his elbow. They were the biggest unofficial couple in the school. They were almost always together and everyone wondered when they would make if official and start dating. Although every day this news didn't begin circuling the school gave Willow a days more worth of hope.

Bellatrix quickened her walk and came to the desk where the two Ravenclaw girls had taken residence and she put a hand on each of their shoulders. Willow didn't hear what she said to them but whatever it was made the two girls collect there things quickly and move to the back of the room. Bella cackled while looking to Barty for approval of her naughty deed. He paused beside Willow for a moment appraising Bella's handiwork before taking up a seat next to her. He was only a hands reach away but he seemed eternally out of her grasp.

She flipped open her textbook and pretended to study its pages while hiding her sever disappointment. She almost didn't notice the seat next to her being taken up by her best friend Faith.

"Bonjour!" Faith said making Willow jump.

"Wow, you scared me."

"Concentrating hard on your studies?"

"Hardly…"

"Boy troubles?" She asked looking past her to the next table. Faith was the only one she had told about her liking of Barty. "Maybe it's time to move on. You're polar opposites, it would never work, I keep telling you. Désastre."

"Why do you have to keep speaking in French? Last night when I asked you what classes we had today you told me completely in French."

"I forget I'm doing it. You know I'm French and we speak all in French at home."

"Why did your parents move to England if your always speaking French?"

"You know full well because of my fathers job at the ministry."

"Well, that shouldn't interfere with you being able to tell time. You are late, again. You are always late."

"No, I am right on time. Voyez." She said motioning towards the door as Professor Slughorn came waddling in.

"Good morning everyone, Good morning Adder, Good morning. You have all been in my class before and are used to how things go, but this year I am switching things up. You usually work as individuals but this year you will be working with a partner and you will both be receiving the same grade, finals excluded."

The entire room broke out in excited chatter, and Willow turned to Faith and they both smiled and nodded, silently agreeing to be partners.

"Quiet everyone, quiet…" Slughorn said and the chatter eventually died out. "Now I've taken the liberty of choosing your partners for you." The entire room let out a loud groan in unison. "Now it won't be that bad, I've thought long and hard while choosing your partners. Think of it as an experience, to broaden your horizons."

Everyone continued to scoff and whisper to each other. "Now, the partners are Bellatrix and Bernard." Bellatrix whom a moment before was ready to argue until sunset took one look at her well fit Slytherin partner and nodded approvingly in silent agreement.

"Clover and Emily." The two Ravenclaw girls who had been told to move earlier giggled with glee at the back of the classroom.

"Trevor and Faith." Faith sneered in disgust as she glanced to the table on the other side of there's. Trevor was also a Ravenclaw and was Faith's little stalker. He had asked her out five times since there first year and she had happily declined each time. Now he looked very pleased and winked at her while he licked his lips provocatively. Faith stuck a finger in her mouth and pretended to vomit into her caldron while Slughorn was pairing a Ravenclaw boy and Slytherin girl who was twice his size.

"Barty and…" Slughorn paused as he tried to remember who he had paired him with. Willow was about to jump him when he finally said, "ah, yes, Barty and Willow." She swore her heart stopped beating for a moment.

When it had started again she looked over at him and he was looking at her properly for the first time. Then Bellatrix let out her unmistakable cackle, and Barty's expression changed from shock to immense displeasure. He turned to Bella and said something quietly that wiped the smirk from her face.

Willow tried hard not to smile to herself but she was positively glowing on the inside, like someone had swapped her blood for liquid gold. Things were finally going her way, how could this not go well.

Faith leaned over to her and whispered, "looks like I was wrong, your luck is changing."


	2. We're Not So Different, You and I

_**Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is quite long, but I hope it's worth it in the end. Enjoy.**_

"Now I've taken the liberty of choosing your partners for you." Slughorn said. Barty groaned loudly along with the rest of the class. "Now it won't be that bad, I've thought long and hard while choosing your partners. Think of it as an experience, to broaden your horizons." _It won't be that bad. _They always said that, and it always turned out to be worse. He didn't need his horizons broadened. He knew exactly where he was going. His father worked at the ministry so can you say free ride? But he had to get the grades to get there. His father didn't love him that much after all. He loved his own reputation more.

He had even gotten a letter from him this morning since his father hadn't even bothered to see him off to school yesterday. He was _too busy at the ministry _his mother had told him as she tired to make up for the widening absence in his life. In the letter his father hadn't even apologized for not seeing him off the day before but instead lectured him on how important it was to achieve perfect grades and that he would tolerate no less. He had slipped slightly in his grades the year before when he came down with a terrible illness that had taken all the color from his skin and left him so pale, but that was no kind of excuse for his father. The bastard wouldn't even have cared if he had died. It was all about appearances not about love or family.

But Bella had been talking recently about this boy, slightly older than them, already out of Hogwarts, who was planning on doing great things. There were whispers of terrible deeds he had already done but no one knew if they were true or just boasts. He wanted to rid the world of muggles and bring the wizarding world to new heights. This all sounded amazing but also too good to be true. Bella already seemed in love with the idea, he wasn't quite so sure. Perhaps he should just stick with the ministry. The ministry was a sure thing, as long as this stupid soon to be partner didn't mess it all up.

Bella was the first to be paired and she didn't seem to mind being partnered with the most handsome Slytherin boy in their grade, or so it was said. She kept prodding him and nodding her head towards her partner, he refused to look at her. There had better be something good in the draw for him too or he'd set fire to her homework tonight, by accident of course.

A few more names were said, and his heart beat faster in his chest. _Please let it be someone I can work with. Someone good at potions at least._ Then Slughorn said his name and paused. His breath caught… and Slughorn kept pausing. How could he do this to him! How could he forget his partner?

Just as these thoughts started weaving an intricate pattern in his mind Slughorn spoke again. "Ah, yes, Barty and Willow." Willow? Who was Willow? Ah yes, that one Ravenclaw girl.

He looked over and noticed she was sitting at the table next to him. She looked a bit stupid, unconfident. She would not do, she would mess everything up for him. His entire future, ruined. Then she looked at him and smiled. Did she think this was a good idea? Bellatrix let out a loud cackle of laughter as she saw who his partner was. "Shut up," he whispered hatefully to her and she scowled at him.

Slughorn finished his list of names while he sat there and seethed in anger. "Now I would like you and your partner to try brewing me a Draught of Peace, which seems fitting for today. Don't worry if it doesn't turn out perfect, this is the first day after all, and we will take another stab at it next semester, unless everyone's is perfect, which would be marvelous. But as the standards of how this class has preformed in the past I expect nothing less than a half completed potion by the end of class. Now off you go."

He could hardly drag himself to his feet to move and meet up with his '_partner_.'

"Have fun with your cute little flower," Bellatrix said in a mocking tone.

"Shut up," he hissed at her before he went and sat down in the empty seat next to Willow.

She immediately turned to him and looked at him with big hopeful eyes. What the hell was she staring at? "Hi, I mean, hello," she stuttered. Oh gawd, this was a disaster. The girl couldn't even speak properly.

"Yeah hi. I'm going to get straight to it, I don't want to be your partner, and I'm sure you don't want to be mine. So, I'll do the work, and you sit there and look pretty or whatever and let me be." He said harshly and flipped open his new text book and hurried to find the right page.

"Ummm, I can help you know. I'm not completely useless."

"Yes you are, now be quiet, I'm reading." He said through gritted teeth. _Mash fourteen Moonstones into a fine powder… _he read.

"Excuse me, but I achieved pretty good grades last year in potions."

"Yeah, well good isn't perfect so shut up." He barked as he got out his supplies and started looking for moonstones.

He had just begun counting them out when the table shook violently as Willow slammed her potions book on the table causing him to drop the box full of small shriveled pea shaped stones. "Just look what you made me do!" He yelled at her.

"I'm sorry, I just want to help." She said, he could see the hurt on her face but it was nothing to how he felt when his father turned away from him in disgust.

"Then pick them up. And don't crush any of them!" He yelled making her get down on her hands and knees while he hurriedly prepared as much of the potion as he could.

She picked every last one up and put them back in the box, and he had gotten a pretty good head start on their potion. Instinctively she began sorting out the fourteen that they needed for the potion, much to his dislike.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he noticed she was beginning to crush them in her mixing bowl.

"I'm crushing the moonstones."

"It says to mash them!" He said yanking the bowl away from her.

"That's the same thing!" She yelled back at him.

"Do you want to ruin this for me? I need this to be perfect and your screwing it up!"

"I'm not screwing anything up, and you're the one who is over boiling the water." She said making him forget about her for a moment as he swore loudly and tried to get the liquid to stop being such a dark black and turn the light shade of green it was supposed to be right now.

No one else noticed their partnering issues because next to how the rest of the class they were getting on rather well. Slughorn went from workstation to workstation trying to calm the biggest outbursts and to stop the largest arguments, mostly those that involved their small blades and fire.

By the time Barty had managed to get the liquid to turn from black to a sickly shade of orange Willow handed him the mashed Moonstones and tried to give him a friendly smile. "I got them crushed to the consistency of sand, just like it says in the book." He roughly took the bowl from her and grunted as he looked at it. It wasn't bad, but he could have done better. He poured the powder into the caldron and the liquid immediately began to bubble and fizz, certainly unlike the light greenish haze that was supposed to smell like lavender in the book.

"Just look what you did!" He barked at her.

"That's not my fault, you overcooked the toads legs!"

"If you hadn't made me drop everything this wouldn't be happening!" He screamed. He could feel the vein in his neck twitching. She looked on the verge of tears when Slughorn stopped by after hearing him yell.

"Now stop fighting you two. I'm sure whatever happened wasn't entirely her fault. Try and lower the volume too Barty, the merpeople don't need to hear you, just your partner."

"I am begging you for a new partner, she is a disaster." But Slughorn wasn't listening and was instead looking at what some of the other students were up to.

"Yes, yes Barty… Perseverance and…" said Slughorn clearly not paying attention before he shouted at the rear of the room, "Madison! That is not the proper use for our cast iron tongs!" He said waddling off quickly.

Willow was about to open her mouth to say something to him but he quickly spoke first, "just shut up, I don't want to hear it. Stir the caldron, and do it right."

He looked back down at his book a read; _add the syrup of two hellebore by squeezing the pod gently. _That didn't seem too hard. He got them out and gently squeezed the pod that looked rather much like a dark brown pepper. Nothing happened. The shell seemed very hard. How was he supposed to gently squeeze the juice out? He looked back at the book again and indeed it did say gently. He tried again, nothing. He tried squeezing harder using all his might. Still nothing. He got fed up and put on the counter and pressed down on it with all his weight. It didn't even deform at all.

"Let me see it." Willow said gently putting her hand to his arm pushing him away kindly.

"Yeah, I don't see how you'll be able to get the juice out of that. You don't even look like you have enough strength to crack open a butterbeer bottle."

"My mother works with herbs all the time, and hellebore's are very tricky." She said picking up his small blade. She was about to cut into it when he grabbed her hand, "what are you doing?"

"I know what I'm doing, trust me." She said shaking off his hand and gently slicking open the end and taking the husk and gently squeezing it over the caldron letting the precious syrup drip into the bubbling solution.

"Show off," he said pushing her aside and tried to duplicate her actions with much less success. He heard her giggling at him, he shot her a dirty look which silenced her.

Soon it was the end of class and time for Slughorn to look at their work. He was very displeased with almost all of his students work, and said again and again how disappointed he was with all of their behavior and how next class it would not be tolerated and that they would have to learn to work together with better results.

Slughorn reached them last and looked into their caldron. "Good, average. I do expect better next time though." He said smelling the hazel solution that was supposed to be a light yellow. "Class dismissed." He said straightening up, and everyone began cleaning up their work areas.

He was hurrying to get out of there but Slughorn lingered over their desk. "I would like a word with you two." He slumped back in his chair and looked at Slughorn, eagerly trying to hurry this along. "There is a reason I partnered the two of you. You are the best students in this class, and I expected better results from you two. I expect it from the rest of them, but not from you. You are better than this, I've seen your work the past four years remember. So I expect you to get over your differences and give me better work next time. I just know you two will do splendidly." He said touching one of each of their hands before releasing them and turning to pack up his own things.

Barty sneered as soon as his back was turned and quickly picked up all his things and headed for the door.

"Wait up," he heard a voice call and he noticed Willow following him.

"What do you want?" He growled.

"I just wanted to say I think that went well. I mean, it could have been worse."

"Could have been worse, that was humiliating! Slughorn's disappointed in us, I have to work extra hard now to earn that grade back! And it's all your fault!" They had stopped walking and she shivered as he yelled at her in the empty corridor. She began to stutter trying to find words to counter his own. "You know what, don't speak to me!" He said stalking off leaving her there.

He quickly caught up with his friends and Bellatrix's hair was more of a curly ratted tangled mess than ever. "Guess what?!" Bella immediately said to him.

"What?"

"I set my hair on fire…" She said showing off the singed ends of her hair.

"You do that every year, at least twice. When are you going to learn to keep your head out of the fire?"

"But it's so pretty, all the dancing shapes." Just then Willow ran by them storming off, her footfalls echoing around the halls. His friends laughed. He didn't see what was so funny. "So what about you? Did you make your fluffy little bunny cry?" She asked trying to force herself to pout but ended up cackling in the end.

"No, and I don't see how that is funny."

"Shame. Adriana made that little Ravenclaw boy cry."

"Yeah, whatever. I need to go to the library. I've got to make up for that terrible class."

"You study too much. If you turn into any more of a bookworm I'm going to have to stop talking to you."

"Yeah whatever."

"Save you a seat at dinner?"

"Yeah." He said starting to walk the other way down the silent hall and turned the corner and he heard the sound of someone crying. He stopped for a moment and then proceeded cautiously, very curious as to who was crying. At first he saw no one at all, and thought it might just be a ghost. He had heard some girls say that there was a ghost that haunted one of the girls bathrooms that loved to cry, and wail, and moan. Maybe she had drifted a bit out of her usual territory.

Then he spotted someone squatting on the floor half-hidden behind a suit of armor. As he inched closer he saw that it was a girl who was hidden behind her messy brown hair and a potions book laid at her feet.

Then he realized that it was Willow. He immediately began backing away and retraced all his steps until he was back around the corner where he laid himself flat against the wall. He wanted to try and believe there was some other reason, some other stupid guy, but he knew she was crying because of what he had done to her. How could he? His insides quivered and shook. Looking at her, vulnerable like that reminded him so much of himself after his father had laid into him, yelling at him for hours about whatever he could. He had been strong, he had taken it unyielding, just like Willow had, and then later that night he would break down into tears and curl himself up into a ball and weep, wishing the world would just swallow him whole.

He knew this pain well, it was almost a friend now, but never would he wish it on anyone else. Especially to be the cause of it. He had told himself, again and again, that he would never do to anyone what his father did to him. Make them feel so small and worthless, but he had, and so easily too.

He felt his heart; it was bleeding for her, for himself. He was so set to hate her but now he felt more close to her than anyone he had ever met before. What was he going to do? What had he let happen?

"What have I done?"


	3. When he won't take no for an answer

Barty wanted to apologize to Willow, he wanted her to know he didn't mean to make her cry. He promised himself that the next time he saw her he would go and talk to her. She would be at dinner, he would do it then.

But she wasn't at dinner and he began to get worried.

He didn't sleep well that night. He tossed and turned and when he finally did sleep he dreamed of his father yelling at him, and Willow's tear stained face. He woke up an hour early in a cold sweat, so he just got up and got dressed. Willow had to be at breakfast. She couldn't skip two meals.

He decided to go down to breakfast early, mostly because he didn't want to listen to Bella's jeers. Weather they were directed at him or someone else, he just wasn't in the mood for it. When he reached the dinning hall he quickly scanned the Ravenclaw table for Willow. At first he didn't think she was there but then he spotted her among a large group of people.

He got excited and quickly walked down the aisle towards her. He would ask her if she would like to talk to him alone, it would be really embarrassing and unbecoming to apologize in front of others. When he neared her group they all looked up at him and gave him warning dirty looks. Shit, she had told them all what had happened. They all looked at him except Willow who concentrated harder on her eggs and toast.

He decided not to stop after all and would instead talk to her if he saw her in the halls, alone. Or even better, next potions class. She couldn't avoid him then.

He didn't see her in alone in the next few days, and maybe that was for the best. He began feeling nervous and anxious about the whole situation, and didn't know why. Apologizing wasn't his thing. As a Slytherin it was not expected of him. In fact the opposite seemed encouraged, or at least that's how you survived.

Finally Friday's potion class arrived and he wasn't quite sure if he was ready for it or not. He gave Bella the slip at breakfast and made it to the potions room early. He was just too worked up to have to watch her trip freshmen in the hall and be expected to laugh.

He was getting anxious the longer the time drew on and no one had entered the classroom yet. He didn't like being anxious. He kept rearranging his tools on the desk and drumming his fingers on the desk nervously. The classroom eventually began to fill, and his nerves did anything but subside. Every person that walked through the door that wasn't Willow made his heart beat that much faster but he didn't know how he'd react when she did arrive. What would she do? She probably hated him by now. Well, she had right to.

He turned away from the door suddenly not wanting to know when she arrived. Therefore he didn't see Willow's little French friend arrive. He didn't notice her at all until she casually walked by his desk and 'accidently' knocked his textbook to the floor, muttering "faggot" under her breath. He sneered at her back as she pretended to look for a spare textbook in the supply cupboard.

He picked the book up off the floor and while he was bent over he didn't notice Willow silently take up the seat next to him. When he turned and saw her there he almost dropped his book again. She wasn't looking at him, and he was pretty sure she was trying her hardest not to. After all she was staring at the cover of her potions textbook rather intently.

He was about to speak to her when Slughorn entered the room and class was starting. Slughorn's speech seemed longer than usual, it went on and on and Barty hardly listened to a word. He was more interested in the movements of the girl beside him. Out of the corner of his eye he watched her every move. Every time she shifted slightly in her chair, or touched her hair, or laid her hand upon her textbook, he noticed it all. To what means he was still unsure but he still wanted to know of every movement she made.

It seemed like it had been an hour since Slughorn had started talking when he finally stopped. It actually took Barty a moment to realize he had stopped and everybody was beginning to brew their potions. Shit, what were they supposed to be doing?

"Um…" He said turning to Willow who still was refusing to even glance at him. "Did you hear what we're supposed to be doing?" She didn't act like she even heard him and continued to stare off into space. He sighed and tapped her on the shoulder making her turn to him. She looked aggravated at having to look at him. "Do you know what we're supposed to be doing today?"

"I thought I wasn't supposed to help you," she said snidely.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about what I did. I didn't mean to be so rude, or make you cry. That's the last thing I meant to do, it's just I'm under a lot of pressure from my father…"

"What, you saw me crying?" She asked astounded.

"Um, yeah… That was you crying behind the suit of armor wasn't it?"

"Oh No," she said burying her face in her hands and she began sniffling again. Oh shit.

"Don't cry, I'm sorry… I really am. I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I was just taking my short cut to the library and saw you. Please don't cry." He said scooting his stool right next to hers and gently putting his arm around her.

"I'm alright," she said shrugging off his arm. "It's just so embarrassing."

"It's okay, it was just me, and I didn't tell anyone. Besides, everyone cries, its nothing to be ashamed of. I'm more ashamed for making you cry."

"Boys don't cry."

"I've cried more than you have probably…" He said without thinking. "Please don't tell anyone that. If Bella found out I'd never ever hear the end of it."

"I won't, as long as you tell me why you cry so much, apparently."

"My father… I think he hates me."

"Your father doesn't hate you. He's your father."

"You don't know my father. I get blamed for everything and no matter what I do it's never good enough."

"How? You have like the second best grades in our year."

"My father wouldn't be happy if I had perfect grades, got the Quidditch cup, and found a new amazing use for dragons blood. Sometimes I think he wishes I had never been born."

"That's terrible."

"That's my life. But I'm sorry for what I did to you. I was just feeling stressed because of my father."

"It's okay…"

"No it isn't."

"I'm okay, you don't need to worry about it."

"I do worry about it. I worry about it a lot!"

"Fine… what do you want me to do. I've already forgiven you."

"Let me make it up to you. Whatever you want, I'll do it for you."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

She thought for a while, her eyes looking him over, but in the end she said, "there's nothing I want."

"You can't be serious, there has to be something you want." He said edging closer to her. Her noticed her breath catch and goose bumps appear on her skin. She was attracted to him. He smiled to himself. He had never thought about it but she was decently pretty herself. "Do you want me to, do your homework for you for a week?"

"That's okay. I need to study myself and I doubt your handwriting could pass as mine."

"Oh… How about… next time we go to Hogsmeade I'll buy you butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?"

He noticed how she sat up a little straighter at this proposition and it took her longer to reply but she still answered, "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't need to do anything for me. Especially something you don't want to do."

"I want to. There is a dance this weekend isn't there?"

"The homecoming dance, yes."

"Do you have a date already?"

"Um… no."

"Then I'm taking you, and I will not take no for an answer."

"Okay…" She quietly stammered, a smile growing on her face. He smiled too.

"But we're going just as friends." He said making sure she wasn't expecting anything from him he wasn't ready to give.

"Of course." She said smiling brightly, he smiled too and he felt his heart flutter. What was happening to him? "I've never been to a dance before."

"You're kidding. A girl as pretty as you." Why did he just say that? But it made her smile brighter which made him forget his objections.

"The thing is I don't really know what to wear."

"It's casual, but it's not like you can come in sweat pants or school robes. I'd say a nice dress would be appropriate. You'd look good in green." He suggested.

"Okay," she said beaming at him.

"Excuse me," said Slughorn as he approached their table. "I'm glad you two are getting along but I'd love to see something in your caldron by the end of the hour."

"Sorry Professor." He replied as he looked at Willow and the two giggled for no particular reason. "So," he said to Willow when Slughorn had moved on, "exactly what are we making. I wasn't paying attention at the beginning of class."

"I think it's a simple remedy for the common cold." She answered opening her textbook, and then she paused and looked over at him. "You are going to let me help this time right? Or are you just inviting me to the dance to make it acceptable for you to yell at me the rest of the year?"

"I said I was sorry, and I expect you to help. Don't let me catch you slacking. Now you can crush the black beetles eyes."

"Could you maybe do that part? Beetles eyes freak me out. I can cut up the Belladonna leaves."

"Sounds good to me."

He noticed that they indeed worked well together when they tried, and also that his mind kept veering away from their potion and instead to the two of them dancing together tomorrow night. What was he getting himself into?


	4. What will the others think?

"I can't believe you," Faith said to Willow for what seemed the 100th time that day since she heard the news merely four hours ago that Willow was going to the homecoming dance with the boy that a few days ago had made her cry. The two were sitting in their common room killing time before dinner.

"He said he was sorry."

"He's a liar."

"No he isn't."

"He's a Slytherin, it's what they do best next to being vile."

"He isn't vile, he's sweet."

"That's not what you were saying yesterday."

"I changed my mind."

"You just want to believe that he's not that terrible person, but he is."

"Then why did he apologize to me?"

"Because he's up to something."

"What could he possibly be up to?"

"He's probably setting you up to humiliate you in front of his friends."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he can. He wanted to see if you would trust him so he could walk all over you."

"The dance was the last thing he came up with, almost by accident."

"That's what he wanted you to believe."

"You're so set to see the worse in him."

"You're so set to only see the good in him, just because he's cute."

"And nice."

"I have yet to see that."

"I'm going with him, just as friends."

"You just want to date him."

"Not really, not anymore."

"You're such a liar. He's going to use you and throw you away."

"I won't let him use me."

"I want you to promise me that, that you won't just run off with him and do something your going to regret."

"I won't do anything with him. He made it clear anyways that we're there just as friends, not anything more. He just wants to say sorry. Will you at least try to like him? I at least want to try and be friends with him, not enemies."

"I'll try, for you. Pour quoi sont-ils les amis?"

"Are you ready for dinner yet? I'm starving."

"Yeah sure…" Faith said pulling herself out of the large comfy chair and walked with her.

Willow wasn't sure of her feelings for Barty anymore. She used to dream about him asking her to a dance but now that it was happening she had reservations about the whole thing. She didn't want to tell Faith but she was right about reserving her trust. She had always thought he was a nice boy, and someone who would be trustworthy, the things she looked for most in a guy, but now she didn't know if he was either of those things.

She wanted to believe that what had happened earlier that week was just because he was under pressure because of his father but it all came down to she didn't really know him. She was going to change that though. She hoped that at least he wanted to be friends. After tomorrow night she hoped that at least she would come out of it sure what kind of a person Barty really was.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she had forgotten to listen to Faith who had been talking this whole time. When she finally started listening it seemed like she was going on about her summer in France. She gleaned this because she was mostly speaking in French. No use listening anyways.

She was about to stop listening entirely when they entered the great hall and as they entered Barty was leaving. He didn't stop or say anything to her but she did catch the light smile he threw her way before he continued on his way. Bellatrix as always was right on his heels, but she stopped for a moment and looked at her before continuing out the dining all shouting for Barty to wait.

"Did you see that glare Bellatrix gave me?" Willow asked Faith who had continued on ahead of her unaware anything at all had happened.

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind."

--------------------

"Alright Barty?" Bellatrix said taking a seat next to him at dinner. It was still early and the dinning hall was mostly empty because a few classes were still in session, but Barty wanted to eat early and get started on his homework and get to bed early. He had a busy day ahead of him tomorrow, probably filled with a few unnecessary bumps in the road.

"Alright," he replied sipping his soup.

"Well, I'm all ready for tomorrow. My dress is so gorgeous you'll just die."

"That's great," he said breaking off a piece of bread.

"So when are you going to pick me up?"

"What?" He asked almost choking.

"Pick me up for the dance, boy are you getting dimmer as the years go by. At least your looks are improving." She said helping herself to a slice of his bread even though there was a platter full right in front of her.

"I didn't ask you to the dance." He said suddenly worried. He knew he would have to tell her about Willow, but why couldn't she just find out for herself tomorrow night and ream him afterwards? Why did it have to be now? He was worked up enough already.

"I am not going to let you sit in our dorm studying through another social function. Besides, we've gone together the past three years. I know you have a crap potions partner but you can study Sunday when I don't need you."

"Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I've already asked someone, so you'll have to drag someone else along."

"You already have a date?"

"Yes, do you need me to clean your ears out for you?"

"Since when did you get a girlfriend?"

"I haven't, we're just going as friends."

"How can you do this to me Barty?"

"I have no obligation to you."

"Who is she then?" She asked, when he didn't answer right away she scoffed loudly. "Oh my Merlin! Are you going with Penelope Abbey? She looks like a horse!"

"No, I'm not going with her."

"Then who?"

He didn't want to say but she would find out eventually, and if he didn't tell her now she wouldn't let him get any work done tonight. "I'm going with Willow."

"Who the hell is that?"

"My potions partner," he said quickly not meeting her eye, but she heard him perfectly well despite and she began to laugh.

"Willow? That Ravenclaw girl?"

"Shut up."

"Why would you want to date her?"

"We're not dating, we're going as friends."

"Why are you taking her then?"

"Because I want to."

"WHY?"

"It's none of your business!"

"Oooohhh… getting a little touchy about your potions princess."

"Shut UP!"

"Why don't you date someone your own speed."

"What do you mean?"

"She's such a simpleton, and a cherry."

"So what if she's a virgin, we all are."

"Some of us more than others darling."

"Yeah, whatever Bella."

"Is that why you like her? Cause she's pure?"

"What do you mean?"

"I bet she's never even sworn."

"Is there a point to this?"

"You want to shag her."

"Get real, I don't like her that way."

"Then why are you taking her?"

"She had no one else to go with."

"And your stone cold heart started to bleed did it?"

"Fuck off."

"Tell her that. You're my date, you can't ditch me like this."

"Go to hell, I'll take whoever I want."

"Who am I going to go with then?"

"I don't know, Rookwood?"

"Be serious Barty, I can't show up with him."

"What about Lestrange?"

"Now you're just laughing at me. He's a year below us. That's more embarrassing than your china doll. At least she's kind of pretty, in a strange way."

"What about Malfoy? He's two years older, single, and talks to you on a regular basis."

"Yeah, but my sister has a thing for him. If I go anywhere near him she'll kill me."

"What about his friends, Goyle and Cabbage or whatever there called."

"I don't know…"

"You could just not go."

"Get real Barty. It's one thing for you to not show up."

"Why me?"

"Cause you're a nerd supreme. It's actually fitting your dating that looser Ravenclaw girl. You can make little looser babies together and live happily ever after on a hill and read books."

"Fuck off, she's not my girlfriend."

"Then ditch her."

"I can't do that."

"Is your heart bleeding yet?"

"If you won't let me eat my dinner in peace I'll just leave." He said pushing his bowl away and getting up and grabbing his bag.

"Barty… Don't go, I didn't mean to be rude about your taste in girls."

"What taste? I don't even like her!" He yelled a little louder than he meant to as he started walking out of the room with Bella on his heels.

"You don't have to lie to me Barty."

"I'm not lying." Just then he noticed Willow passing him as he went through the doors. Just looking at her put on smile on his hard face. As soon as he passed her he shook his head and started walking faster. What was wrong with him? Was it a virus?

"Barty! Wait!" He heard Bella call. He didn't slow but she eventually caught up with him and grabbed his arm making him stop.

"What! You hate her! I get it! Leave me alone!"

"No… it's just…" She sighed. He felt it coming, she was about to try and be nice. It happened about four times a year and could always feel the tremors before it came. "I'll try and be nice to her, but only if you find me a date for tomorrow."

"Fine, I'll ask around for you."

"Thanks Barty, you're the best!" She said throwing herself at him and hugging him. He awkwardly patted her back unsure of what he should do. She never hugged him, he was expecting to be punched when she finally let him go, but she didn't. "See you later."

"Yeah, see you." He said as she ran off back to the dinning hall. He stood there for a second in bemusement and the shook his head and walked on. Girls, what was he going to do?

-------------------

Willow was listening to Faith properly talk about her summer when she finally convinced her that before she had said the whole thing in French, which might as well have been true. She did do it all the time, even though she always refused to believe it.

"It would be much easier if you just learned French." Faith told her, pausing as she tired to find the words for what she wanted to say.

"You're in England, try and speak some English."

Faith stuck her tongue out at her and she laughed. Just then Bellatrix stalked by and decided to stop at their table.

"Don't mind me girls." Bella said with a smile that put fear into both their hearts as she reached between them and grabbed an apple off of their table. She took a large bite and looked over Willow for a moment before she turned and slowly stalked off.

"Barty must have told her." She said as Bella finally took her place at the Slytherin table, two tables over from there's. They didn't feel comfortable talking again until they were sure she was gone.

"If Barty is sincere you have a much bigger problem on your hands."

"What is that?"

"She isn't going to let him go without a fight."


	5. How is my hair?

**Author's Note: I want to thank all of you who are sticking with this story, and especially those of you who reviewed. It means a lot to me, thanks. :)**

"How's my hair?" Willow asked standing in front of the mirror in her dorm room. It was time for the dance, but she just wasn't ready to face that big looming question mark.

"My answer is the same as the last five times you asked me. It's fine." Faith said from her bed as she flipped through the new issue of TeenWitch.

"Just fine?"

"Sorry, It's stunning, beautiful, magnifique, a masterpiece, can we go now? We'll be late if you spend any longer in front of that mirror."

"I'm so nervous."

"I'll be there, and I'll make sure he doesn't try and pull anything."

"I'm not worried about that. What if he doesn't show up, or what if he ignores me the whole night, or what if he doesn't like my dress?" She said smoothing out the pleats in the dark green dress she wore. He said he thought she would look good in green, she hoped he still thought so. She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted out of this night, but she knew she would know when it was over if it was a success or not.

"I don't know what to tell you. Anything could happen, the coin is in the air waiting to land, but it isn't going to until you get away from that mirror. Come on."

"But…"

"Your hair is lightly curled and perfect, your dress is very green, if he doesn't like it, well, I'll hit him, now come on, we'll be late."

"Fine!" She said stalking away from the mirror as Faith got up from the bed and planted herself in front of it instead. "Come on she says. We'll be late she says." Willow said mockingly as Faith looked herself over in the mirror. She wore a silver dress and bright green leggings and bright blue high heels. It was quite a sight but Faith liked to dress eccentric, and there was no talking her out of an outfit once she found it fantastique. Faith twirled her blond hair around fingers and let her light natural curls fall back into place.

"Coming?" Willow asked.

"Yeah," Faith answered glancing back at her reflection briefly.

--------------------

"How's my hair?" Barty asked Bella in the common room. He was looking at his reflection in one of the wall mirrors that decorated their common room. Before he could never be arsed about his looks but now he wanted to look his best. Again he decided he didn't want to dwell on the why, so he didn't and managed to get on quite well.

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" Bella answered. She had just entered the common room and he was slightly thankful she hadn't seen him looking at his reflection for the past few minutes trying to get his hair to fall just right.

"Just tell me how it looks."

"Depends what look your going for."

"I don't know. Handsome, approachable with a hint of mystique."

"Have you turned gay in the last two hours?"

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry but you just sounded really gay, and you know that's okay. I will accept you however you are.."

"I'm not gay, I just want to make a good impression, that's all. Now how do I look?" He said looking away from the mirror and presenting himself to her.

She looked him over long and hard before she replied, "you look like you always do, just in different clothes." He sighed and turned back to the mirror and flattened his hair out and looked at it that way and decided he didn't like that at all and began running his fingers back through it trying to get it back the way it was. "Why are you all of a sudden worried about the way you look." He didn't reply. "Are you worried what your little candy apple will think of you?"

"It's not for her, I just want to look nice, is that a crime?" But he was lying, because he knew that he wasn't doing this for his image among his pupils, or for Bella but he was doing it for Willow, because he wanted her to like what she saw. He didn't know why, and he made sure he didn't try and figure it out, because he was sure he wouldn't like the answer.

"Like I really care. Now more importantly, how do I look? You haven't said anything about my dress yet." He pulled himself away from his reflection again to look at her.

She wore a black dress that was well fitted and tattered fashionably at the end of her long sleeves and around the bottom of her dress. She had made sure her already insanely curly hair was at its biggest as she had tied a bit of it back in a pony tail making it stand higher on her head. Lastly he noticed the red lipstick she wore over the frown she was giving him because it was taking him longer than her liking to come up with an opinion. It was unnatural for a guy to have an opinion on an outfit, and he always hated it when she demanded it from him.

"You look… nice?" He eventually said and she looked like she was about to hit him.

"Just nice?!"

"What do you want me to say? It's just a dress."

"I doubt that's what you'll say to your little potions partner."

"I'm sure I will. I am not a fashion consultant I'm a bloke, what do you want from me?"

"Maybe a little attention every once in awhile!" She yelled as he once more turned back to his reflection. He was about to give up on his hair, deciding nothing would make it look good when Bella lunged at his head, ruffling his hair violently.

"Get off me!" He hollered pushing her off and looking in the mirror to see what damage she had done and smiled at himself instead. She had done it! His hair looked perfect now, the windswept ruffled look was what looked good on him.

"Sweet, thanks Bella. This actually looks really awesome."

"What!"

"You've found my look, doesn't my hair look awesome this way?" He said tweaking a few strands of hair to make it look more purposeful and less hair dryer.

"Good Gules, come on! We'll be late. Don't want to keep your sugar plum waiting."

He took one last look in the mirror. He looked alright, he wasn't a very handsome man generally he thought, but tonight he looked passable as a heartthrob. Would he make Willow's pulse race? Stop asking yourself these questions! He flicked his reflection and then pointed at himself as if to say, don't mess this up, and then he turned and followed Bella out of the common room.


	6. Not a disappointment after all

"So who is your date? You never said." Willow asked as Faith and her made there way to the Great Hall.

"I'm going stag."

"You could have found a date."

"I'd rather go alone to be honest. I don't need a man."

"But there so adorable, don't you just want to cuddle them?"

"Most of the time I want to punch them."

"Ah!"

"There vile creatures, and I swear if a guy looks down my top tonight I'm going to deck him."

"You'll find a guy one day who will sweep you off your feet."

"I really doubt that."

"I mark those words, and one day you will eat them."

"That will be the day," she said as they entered the great hall.

"Ohhh… look how pretty." Willow said as she took in the decorations. The whole room was decked in golden streamers and little yellow birds flew among them. The refreshment tables were draped in red velvet and there were large trees sat all around the room made completely out of red roses. It was very beautiful.

"Come on, let's mingle."

"Barty sent me a note this morning. He told me to wait by the entrance for him."

"Well, were not exactly early," Faith said looking around at the room that was already full of people. "Where is he?"

"Well, were not late either." She replied as people were still entering after they had arrived. "Maybe he's running behind a little."

"Let's go wait by the refreshment table then. It's right by the door, and I'm sick of people bumping into us."

She glanced at the hallway outside and didn't see him or any of his Slytherin friends, so she nodded in agreement and turned away from the door.

* * *

"For the Bloody Barons sake Bella will you please hurry up! Never yell at me again for running behind."

"I'm sorry. I thought I could walk in those shoes, but I couldn't."

"You're a bloody girl, you should be able to walk in high heels. It's what you do."

"I kept slipping on the stone floor, I'm sorry. I didn't take that long changing my shoes."

"It took you over ten minutes, and I don't know why I had to go back and wait on you. I'm not your date, he should have been doing that."

"I told Grant to meet me in the great hall."

"Why did you decide to go with that looser? I don't care if he's a year above us, he is such a jackass."

"Why did you decide to go with that bitch?"

"You just shut up about her okay, one more word and I'm done talking to you."

"Sooooorrrrrryyyy mister crankie. And Grant is not a jackass, he's fun, you know, what you used to be. And you were the one who told me to change my shoes, remember!"

"Because I am not your bloody walking stick! And I don't know why I had to go back and wait on you!"

"Stop shouting at me! I am not your whipping post!"

"Stop yelling at me!" They had been arguing so much that they didn't realize they had made it to the Great Hall until they stepped inside and music filled their ears. Barty immediately forgot his arguments with her and began concentrating on trying to find his date. Well, she was his date, but this wasn't a date. Well, whatever. He looked around but he didn't see her. "Where's Willow? I told her to wait here for me."

"She's probably off snogging some other bloke."

"Shut up Bella, Merlin's beard!"

"Oh! I didn't tell you…"

"I really don't care Bella!"

"You don't even know what it is yet. So, Grant told me he was getting some Firewhiskey. You know, spice up this party."

"Woo and stuff…" He said still scanning the crowd, hardly paying attention to what she was saying.

"Just make sure you have some punch. Or better yet, don't and give your glass to your date. It might help her loosen up and do whatever you want her to." She said giggling.

"Would you stop talking about her like she's a tart! I happen to like her, so leave her alone."

"Oooh… so now you like her."

"That's not what I meant." He said immediately trying to back track his words.

"Earlier it was all 'I don't like her that way' now you do."

"I meant I like her as a friend, so don't run her off."

"Maybe I should tell her you love her, that you want her to have your babies."

"Bella, please don't be a bitch."

"What's in it for me?"

"I won't help you with your homework if you embarrass me."

"Deal." She said and they shook hands.

"Now help me find her."

"By the refreshment table, you absolute blind parrot." She said not even looking around.

"How long have you known she was there?"

"Since we walked in the door. I just wanted to watch you squirm."

"You are such a terrible person."

"Thank you." She said smiling as he glanced over at the refreshment table before he moved. Bella could have been lying after all. But she wasn't. There Willow stood, in a gorgeous green dress that hugged her curves and flared around the waist. His heart immediately pounded faster, as he grew warm inside. She looked so beautiful that the rest of the great hall grew blurry and all he could see was her. He had never really felt attraction before, but he was sure it felt something like this.

"Come on Barty, I don't know how long I can be nice, so lets go before I change my mind." Bella said.

"Hang on," he replied and he turned to a rose tree that stood right beside them and plucked a rose from it. He got out his wand and muttered a quick incantation and the rose turned from a brilliant red to a deep green. He thought it still looked too much like he just nicked it from the decorations so he muttered a second spell that caused the flower to bloom open, making it look less like a rose and more like a green flower.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked.

"I'm being a gentleman, and I forgot to bring her something."

"You're being a weird lovesick pixy."

"I don't love her or like her or even slightly fancy her. I'm just trying to be nice so she'll tell all the other girls what a great guy I am and I can score a better date next time." This was an utter lie and if Willow refused to go with him to the next dance and Bella found someone else to drag along he wouldn't go. Truth was he wanted to impress Willow, and only her. He could care less what everyone else thought, except Bella, just because he was sick to death of her mouth. The sooner he could shake her off tonight the better.

"Sure…" Bella said. He knew she knew he was lying. They weren't best friends for nothing, but at least she was dropping the matter and followed him as he approached his date.

"Willow." He said making her turn in his direction.

"Barty!" She said, a bright smile lightening up her face and his heart. "I was beginning to think you weren't showing up."

"I was certain of it," her friend he didn't know said.

"I was running late, sorry, and you are." He said taking in her eccentric friend. She looked like a tacky Christmas tree. If her dress was any brighter his eyes might start to hurt.

"This is Faith. She thought you were ditching me."

"Well, I'm here." He said smiling and Faith gave him the once over with a frown on her face. She didn't trust him. Like he cared.

"So Barty," Bella said at his elbow and he had almost forgotten she had followed him. "What do you think of her dress?"

"Well," he said taking Willows hand and holding it up so she pirouetted under his hand letting him take in the whole view. "It's very beautiful."

"Not nice? I could have sworn you told me it was nice."

"Nice?" Willow asked confused.

"I never said that." He snarled at Bella and turned back to Willow. "It's a beautiful dress."

"Green makes you look pale." Bella told her.

"Bella…" Barty warned her.

"I'm just saying they sorted her into Ravenclaw for a reason. Green is not her color."

He could see Willow was looking uncomfortable and maybe a little hurt at what to her probably sounded like an unprovoked attack. "Ignore her. She's just jealous that she doesn't look good in green."

"What!" Bella shouted.

"Don't you have your date to find?" He asked trying to get rid of her.

"Yes I do. Don't think though that I'm going to forget that."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Bella turned with a huff and stalked off and Barty immediately began to breath more easily.

"What's bothering her I wonder?" Willow said generally.

"She doesn't like you. Don't ask me why, I don't know." He replied.

"I know why," Faith said. They both looked at her waiting for her to elaborate but she didn't. "I'm going to go find Harold and Bianca. Have fun. Au revoir." Then she turned and disappeared into the crowd.

"Oh!" Barty said realizing he was still holding the flower. "I brought this for you."

"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet." He took the flower and tucked it behind her ear, gently brushing her hair back out of her face as his hand fell. His fingertips only brushed her cheek briefly but her skin burnt his flesh. Feelings were bubbling up inside of him, and he was determined to ignore them. He was not that kind of person. He refused.

"So, you want to dance?" He asked taking her hand and leading her out onto the dance floor.


	7. Monster

Okay, it was awkward. He wanted to pretend it wasn't, but it was, and it was obvious. He didn't know how to dance, he had never really tried before. So trying to dance with the girl you fancy is a little hard when you suddenly forget how your feet work. He was glad she didn't seem to mind his awkwardness and tried to help him learn how to move similar to the mass of jumping thrashing bodies around them. In fact, once he peeled back all the layers of his paranoia, he was starting to have fun.

Whenever Bella had brought him to these sorts of functions under the ruse of being her date, she had never forced him to dance. He had actually refused to so much, that she never expected it of him anymore. They usually stood around talking to people they knew and she would eventually forget about him and go off and dance with some other bloke and he would sneak off to bed early. He had liked that life, it was simple. Bella hadn't instilled in him the will to want to do these sorts of things that Willow did so easily. Maybe a smile was more powerful than a scowl and a fist.

"Are you having fun?" She asked him. He had confessed to her earlier that he was a bit uncomfortable in these types of situations, and she persuaded him to try anyways. Why was it he felt like he could tell her things he wouldn't normally tell anyone, let alone a near stranger?

"I think I am." He said smiling at her. Just then the fast paced music changed into a nice slow song and he immediately stopped moving, dreading what to do next. He knew exactly what kind of dancing was required for a slow romantic music, but that didn't mean he was willing to do it.

"I'm speculating that since you've never danced before this night that you've never slow danced either."

"Ye…Yeah." He stuttered. He was so nervous. Why was he so nervous?! "That's right."

"Well, neither have I, to be honest. But we don't have to, since this isn't a proper date." He had been wanting her to say this ever since the music had changed. He had wanted this way out, but now that it was here he wasn't so sure.

"Well, we could try. You've never been to a dance before, maybe I want to give you the full experience. And since we both don't know what were doing it will be easier to learn than with someone who is experienced. Don't you think?"

"I suppose, but come on. I'm a girl, I know what to do."

"Do you now?"

"Observe." She said coming towards him. As soon as she began approaching him he immediately regretted what he had said. He wasn't good with close contact of any kind, which probably stemmed from the fact his parents never really hugged him as a child. But he stood his ground and tried his best not to act as scared as he felt.

She came within an inch of him and gently laid her hands upon his chest. He remained frozen. "You need to put your hands around my waist." He didn't respond. He found his fear had actually paralyzed him. "Barty?"

Her sweet voice arose him from the cold darkness of his own mind and even though he didn't consciously remember her words he slipped his hands around her waist and the space between them grew that much smaller so that there chests were almost touching.

"What now?" He asked.

"We just kind of… sway."

"Okay…" He replied and they began to slowly sway back and forth like the soft melody of a song. Even though he was moving with her he tried to touch her as little as possible. Even with his arms around her waist he kept his hands opened away from her behind her back so that they didn't touch her. Only his forearms laid against her waist and he could hardly feel anything through his thick sleeves, just the way he liked it. He didn't know why he was doing this. Maybe he was afraid to touch her. Afraid of what he would feel. He had had glimpses of those emotions before and he was afraid of what he saw.

The swaying was making him loose thought and he began forgetting what he was doing and the awkward position he had been holding his hands began to loosen and without thinking he let them fall into a relaxed position resting against the small of her back. He felt the silk of the fabric of her dress and now that he was letting his hands meet naturally around her he now knew the shape of her waist and how small she felt next to him. He had always been scrawny and bony but she made him feel strong and manly. He liked all these feelings plus the burning deep within himself, but they also made him worried. He didn't know why but he was so very afraid of letting himself feel for her, even a little bit. He had never felt for anyone and there was a reassurance in that. He couldn't get hurt if he didn't love anyone, not even himself. His father had shown him no one was to be trusted. If his own father couldn't even love him this pretty girl never would.

He had been looking over her shoulder the whole time almost determined not to look at her, but now his eyes fell upon her face. She had been watching him curiously and now that he was looking at her his insecurities began burning a hole through his chest. It didn't matter if he even liked her or not, it was the fact he was even allowing that chance. He could feel himself getting really warm as he began to hyperventilate. Why did he get himself into these situations? He didn't want this. He was much better at being Bella's whipping post, that was easy. Pain was easy. He could take pain. Whatever this was on the other hand, he did not want. It felt too nice, too warm, too reassuring, it was sure to hurt him more than a punch and some harsh words. He didn't want to discover a new kind of hurt. He already knew lots of ways to be hurt by the world, he didn't need another. So how could he get out of this when it felt like his arms were going to disobey him and never let her go.

"Do you want some punch?" He asked her letting his hands fall away from her waist. Her features dropped a little as he pulled away from her and he immediately regretted his actions. Why was he so afraid of her? She seemed so nice and harmless, unlike everything else in his life. Why was he convinced she would hurt him? She meant nothing to him yet that slight hint of a frown on the corners of her mouth pulled at his heart. "It's really hot in here." He said feeling the need to make an excuse for her even though he had made it clear to her before hand that he did not mean for this night to develop into anything between them. He had said that, he remembered it, heard himself say it, so why was it becoming so hard for him to make sure it remained that way.

They were out in the middle of the dance floor and the room was crowded. He didn't want to loose her in the hustle and bustle so he took her hand. It was such a simple gesture, he had done it once before, but now it suddenly felt like it meant so much more. He tried to ignore the war that was being waged inside him. Let what will happen happen or run for dear life, why was that such a hard choice to make. He grasped her hand tighter almost in defiance to the part of his brain that was telling him that she was going to hurt him. He didn't want to believe that. She wouldn't. He wouldn't let her, but he wasn't going to let go either.

When they finally made it to the punch table he wished he had stayed out there on the dance floor and let his thoughts eat him alive from the inside out. Not that he enjoyed giving himself pain, but it was preferable than subjecting himself to what was waiting for him here.

He didn't notice them at first until he began pouring himself some punch and they called to him. He wanted to pretend he didn't hear them, but that really was the worst thing he could do. Just get it over with now, he told himself, like ripping off a band-aid, it would sting for a few moments but then it would be eternally over.

"Hey Barty!" Bella called to him. He slowly looked up to see Bella standing on the other side of the table surrounded by a group of Slytherins. They were all laughing and cheery, he could tell they had been drinking.

He wanted to just walk away but he knew that was really the wrong thing to do so instead he put down the cup he had been filling and circled the table to face his fear, he just wished Willow had decided not to follow him. "What's up?" He asked Bella when he reached her.

"Isn't this party just bitching Barty?" She said and then giggled wildly. She was obviously intoxicated.

"I suppose," he said with a smile he couldn't help as he watched his friend double over in hysterics over something that wasn't even funny.

When she finally regained her composure her eyes wondered to his right and saw Willow standing there meekly observing but obviously too afraid to speak as she was in the midst of some of the biggest Slytherins with the worst reputations.

"Willlllllow is it?" Bella stammered coming closer. Barty immediately tensed and took hold of Willow's hand, preparing himself to protect her if he had to. He wasn't afraid to hit a girl. She's hit him enough to deserve it by now anyways. "Are you having fun with our little Barty?"

"Yes." She replied timidly.

"I've been saying for years…. that Barty needed a girlfriend, and now he's finally got one."

"She is not my girlfriend," he told her angrily.

"I am not talking to you Barty, so shut up," she told him getting angry before she turned back to Willow. "I personally think he could do better than you, but it's the thought that counts right, and, you could be worse. At least you're not a mudblood. He could do worse I suppose but it's not like I'd date him. Not that I didn't think about it but then I realized I could do better you know. He's just too sweet you know. I need a real man, but don't think just because Barty's sweet on the outside that he isn't filled with poison. Like a deadly pastry."

"Bella, you need to back off." Barty warned her.

"Relax, have a drink. I told you I liked her didn't I?"

"No..."

"Well, your right I don't. But you told me to be nice and I am trying. It's just… you shouldn't expect the impossible from me Barty. It's like you know I don't like custard but you feed it to me and expect me to like it and I'm still like, I don't like her."

"Should I go?" Willow asked Barty.

"No, darling, darling, darling." Bella said grasping onto her shoulder. "I'm just having fun with Barty, we do this sort of thing all the time, and your sort of this new disturbing apparition that I hope is a faze because you don't belong here. Maybe he's having a nervous break down, but the fact is you don't need to understand, because hopefully you will be gone before it really matters, because you, here, hopefully won't be around much longer. He doesn't need a scrawny know it all Ravenclaw in his life." Bella began laughing and the rest of her friends joined in.

Barty was so enraged he hardly knew what to do. He was expecting this outburst, but he thought it would be directed at him later tonight in the common room, not right in front of Willows face. He looked over at Willow who looked like she was about to cry. Something inside him snapped and didn't even remember deciding to do what he did.

He grabbed Bella's wrist and pulled her still lingering hand off Willow, making her stop her wicked cackling. Her face became straight, taking him serious for the first time all night. "You better leave her alone, because she's not going anywhere and if you don't leave her alone you're the only one who's going to be going anywhere." When he said his last he let go of her hand.

Bella gazed at him open mouthed while all the Slytherins that had been watching so intently now began jeering and making mocking noises that meant Bella just got owned.

"Come on, let's go." Barty said to Willow taking her hand as Bella turned quickly on her heels and shoved her date who had been laughing at her roughly aside before storming off.

He began to lead her through the crowd but she shook off his hand and began walking faster. He got separated from her for a moment in the crowd but he soon found her again in the corridor outside with her back to him and her face in her hands.

"Are you alright?" He asked her, and she whipped at her eyes quickly before turning around.

"I'm fine." She said through a rough voice that gave away her pain. He was about to reply to her when she spoke again. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"She had no right to speak to you like that. She gets away with everything. Not anymore."

"But she's your friend, you hardly know me."

"Friends shouldn't do that to each other, I'm just starting to realize that. And I want to get to know you, that's the point of all of this." She didn't say anything but just looked at him as if waiting to see what he would do next. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," she said wiping her eyes again.

"I guess it is a bit soon for you to meet my friends. They can be monsters."

"Does that make you a monster too?" She asked sniffing.

"Yes."


	8. Time for telling the truth

"You're not a monster," Willow told him.

"How do you know?" He replied.

"Because you stood up for me. Your kind and sweet."

"I'm really not."

"You are to me."

"You're an exception."

"Why?"

"Because you're been kind and forgiving to me even when I don't deserve it."

"I think people should always have a second chance."

"What about a third and forth?"

"That's stretching trust a bit don't you think?"

"If I only ever gave people two chances I wouldn't have any friends, but then again I don't trust any of them either."

"Who do you trust?"

"No one."

"Not even Bella?"

"Especially not her."

"Isn't that lonely, not letting anyone in?"

"Yes, but in my opinion people are generally bad. There is always a reason not to trust someone. They will always hurt you in the end."

"I think you should give everyone a fair chance, people really aren't as bad as they seem."

"Yes, because they're worse."

"No they aren't."

"People are bastards."

"Am I one too then?"

"I didn't say that."

"You did. If everyone is cruel in your definition that means I am too."

"You haven't done anything terrible to me yet, but that doesn't mean you won't."

"What makes you think I'd do something terrible to you?"

"Because everyone does. I am and have always been the scrawny one. The one who gets picked on, made fun of and the least loved. Why should that ever change?"

"Don't be stupid, I'm sure lots of people love you." He laughed at her. "I'm sure your friends love you, deep down."

"You must be joking. You just met my friends, did that look like love?"

"I'm sure Bella loves you, at least a little bit, as a friend."

"Bella loves what I can give her, she doesn't love me."

"I'm sure your relatives love you."

"I don't really have a big family."

"Then your parents. They have to love you."

"My parents don't love me."

"You just think they don't."

"I hardly ever see my father and when I do he yells at me. He blames me for everything no matter what I do and I am a constant disappointment to him. I think he wishes I had never been born. He's told me I was an accident he wished never happened. Somehow I've ruined his life even though he has everything any normal man could want. Position at the ministry, lots of money, doting wife, and a son to carry on the family name, but he acts like I am a cancer ruining it all. I do everything he asks but that's never enough. He wants me to work at the ministry right out of school, but I have to get the grades in order not to have to intern anywhere else first. If I don't get the grades to do it, I don't know what will happen. He's put so much pressure on me, there is no room for failure. I think it's because he wants me to be just like him, but I'm not. I'm my own person and he can't stand that. If I don't turn out the way he wants its disownment, but I'm not sure if I want to be the man he wants me to be, and it really hurts, because when he looks at me he doesn't see me, he sees what he wants to see, a mini him, and I don't want to be him. I hate my name because it is an extension of him. Bartimus Crouch Junior. I am not him! I am my own person, and no one can see it. And I hate it. I HATE IT!" He said while pacing back and forth, and stopped when he screamed the last of his words, letting his built up rage he had never shown anyone flow out of him. When he was done he stood there is shock and disbelief that he had told this girl he hardly knew his deepest most painful secrets and fears. He had shown her his rotten broken soul, the reason for all his hate, and she had stood there and took it all in.

He stood here now looking at her, slightly frightened of what he had allowed himself to do, and even she looked a little frightened. They stood there for a long moment until she slowly walked towards him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. At first he didn't know what to do, but then he slowly wrapped his arms around her and let her warm him, physically and emotionally. He hadn't know a hug could feel this way. So simple yet so reassuring that everything would be okay. She let him hold onto her for a long time, so long he was beginning to memorize the smell of her hair and the feel of her body against his own. It was all so nice that he started to realize this was what trust was. Letting someone inside and not getting hurt but being comforted and feeling not so alone in the world anymore. He wanted this to last forever, he didn't want to let her go. She was the first person to ever make him feel better about himself, and he had shown her what he looked like on the other side of all that hate and stubbornness and she hadn't hurt him as soon as she saw where to aim. With just a smile she has torn down his walls he has built up over years and was now making a permanent nest in his heart. He didn't want her to go away, she made him feel safe. He didn't want to go back to that cold painful world when he could be warm and comforted here in her arms.

But she pulled away from him eventually, but before she left him completely she placed a small kiss upon his cheek as a reassurance that she wasn't truly leaving him.

"I feel so embarrassed." He told her.

"Why? Because you let someone in?"

"Because I hardly know you, yet you know more about me than anyone now."

"I won't hurt you, if that's what you're worried about."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to run off to Bella and give that information to her in exchange for her being nice to you from now on. She would except that bargain if she now knew how to make me cry. She's been trying to for years."

"Why would I tell her anything? I don't care if she likes me or not. Besides, I wouldn't backstab a friend. I care about you."

"Really now?"

"Yes."

"Why? What have I ever done?"

"You were nice to me, where no other Slytherin ever has. You did make me cry upon our first meeting, but you felt bad about it, and more than made up for it. You took me to my first dance. No other boy has ever given me this much attention. I think being your friend and confidant is the least I could do."

"We are friends now aren't we?"

"Real friends, just second chance friends, because we'll never need another."

"I like the sound of that, but its way too god to be true. It will never last."

"Why can't it?"

"I've told you before, everyone always hurts me. I'm afraid you will too."

"You just have to trust me, and its not like you have a choice. You already told me all your secrets."

"That's true."

"So let's be friends, best friends who know everything about each other."

"Sounds very nice. You know a lot about me, tell me something about yourself I don't know."

"There is one thing, to be honest I'm surprised you haven't already mentioned it."

"Which is."

"Well, you're father is Mr. Bartimus Crouch."

"That's obvious."

"Well, my father is Mr. William Wilson."

"Oh, shit." He said as it finally dawned on him. "Our father's hate each other."

"Yeah. My father is always going on about how much he hates Mr. Crouch."

"And my dad is always saying how the worst person in the world is William Wilson. Whenever I'm in trouble he always says I could be worse, and thank Merlin I'm not like William Wilson."

"If my father knew I was talking to you right now, I would be taken out of this school by tomorrow."

"My dad would probably beat me for talking to you." He laughed a little and shook his head in disbelief. "I finally confide in someone my darkest secrets and they turn out to be the daughter of my fathers arch rival at work. They are always fighting over the same promotions."

"And have never gotten along. My father is a nice man, and generally likes everyone, except your dad. I've heard him say he wished your dad would die before."

"My father hates everyone, but hates no one quite as much as he hates your dad. Wishing he would die is the least terrible thing my father says about yours."

"What do we do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are we still going to be friends or pretend like we don't know each other when we pass in the halls?"

"Why would I ever pretend not to know you?"

"Well, your friends think I'm a laughing stock, your best friend hates me, and your father hates mine. There are so many reasons why we should just walk away from each other."

"Do you want to walk away from me?"

"No."

"I think it's high time I stop letting everyone else run my life for me. I will make sure my friends start respecting you, especially Bella, and fuck my father. I am not going to be his clone, nor his puppet he can make dance at his command. And I like you. I'm not sure if I can trust you yet, but I'd like to try. I don't want to be the cold hearted person I am."

"You're not cold hearted."

"Then what am I?"

"Just… a little lost."

"Take a walk with me, around the lake, and tell me about yourself. You know so much about me, I think it's only fair."

"That's agreeable." She said taking his hand that he offered her and they began heading outside.

"When I finally decided to confide in someone, why did it have to be you?"

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"No, but we'll never be able to see each other outside of school, because of our fathers."

"I think I can live with that."

"Me too."


	9. The bump in every road

**Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long to update, I'm back in college so all I have time to do is school work. But I put together a small chapter to try and tide you over and to also say it will be a while before I post again. I just don't have the time but I hope you will be patient with me. :) Thanks.**

Barty felt exceptionally tired as he dragged himself along back to the Slytherin common room. He had spent most of the night walking the grounds with Willow. He smiled as he thought about her. He felt so close to her and he didn't know why. They had spent there night talking about anything and everything and he still felt like he had so much more to tell. Every thought that crossed his mind he wanted to tell her about. She made him feel not so alone anymore, and for once he felt normal.

By the time they had made it back to the Great Hall everything was slowing to a halt and there was only time for once last dance which they gave to each other. As was the norm it was a slow dance, but this time he didn't feel awkward holding someone close. He didn't want to be afraid of her. Didn't want to think she would stab him in the back. He was so happy, he didn't want that to go away.

He was so absent minded that as he walked across the deserted Slytherin common room he didn't notice Bella sitting in a chair waiting on him. "Hello Barty." He jumped as he heard his name called and looked over and saw Bella sitting their looking cross.

"Hi Bella. What are you still doing up?"

"That's what I should ask you. Have you ever been up so late Barty?"

"What do you want Bella?"

"You humiliated me tonight. Where the hell do you get off doing that to me?"

"I really don't care Bella. You embarrass me all the time, so it's time you had yours. I'm going to bed."

"No you're not." Bella said getting up and grabbing his arm making him stop. He didn't like being grabbed so he turned around and pushed her off of him, a scowl growing on his.

"You want me to be nice to you, why don't you start by being nice to me. I'm not going to let you walk all over me anymore. However you treat me is how I'm going to treat you. You get away with everything, not anymore. You yell at me one more time, I'm going to yell at you. You poke me I'll poke you. You hit me I'm going to hit you back."

"What's gotten into you?"

"Maybe it has something to do with your attitude lately."

"Is this about that girl?"

"Yes it is. If you can't let go of whatever is pissing you off so much then I don't see how we're going to be friends anymore. You've picked on me before, pushed me around, but never like this."

"Barty, you know I…"

"Don't like her. Well I really don't care if you do or not. I'm not making you be friends with her. I'm friends with her. Why does she have anything to do with our relationship?"

"She's getting in my way!"

"What way! What is she doing that's so terrible?"

Bella huffed and was silent before a moment before she spoke, "She's not like us Barty. Do you really think she's good for you?"

"Yes she is. Better than all of this hate and hurt and pain. I don't see why we have to be so brutal all the time, its so tiring. Sometimes I just want a day where no one is yelling, a day where I can enjoy myself, and she gives me that. What is so wrong with peace?"

"That's not the real world Barty."

"That's the world I want."

"You think that mountain of candy and toffee is real? The chocolate rivers are going to dry up and your going to be worse off than before. Mark me."

"I'm sorry that's how you see the world."

"Everyone loves to pick roses but they forget about the thorns. You're going to get hurt. At least with us you know where the thorns are."

"I'm glad you're so concerned for me Bella, but I'll be okay. Trust me. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"Can you promise me that?"

"I promise. We're just friends, just like you and I. I'm not stupid, I'm not going to let anyone hurt me. Not anymore."

"Is there anything I can do to stop you?"

"No."

"Why do I have to suffer your little slice of cheesecake?"

"Because that's what friends do, I am told."

"What if I don't want to?"

"I can see what you're getting at. The it's you or her scenario. Just so you know, if you make me choose, I'm not choosing you."

"You'd really choose her over me, your best friend? You've known her a week."

"Well, she doesn't treat me like a piece of shit." Bella crossed her arms and just looked at him. "Look, I don't want to choose between you two. I can be friends with you both. I'm not asking you to like her I'm just asking you not to bad mouth her around me and insult her to her face. I'm not asking for the moon here."

"I think the moon would be more easily done."

"Probably…" He said shaking his head. "Well…"

"Barty…" She complained.

"Fine. You think on it, I'm going to bed." He said turning.

"Barty wait." She said in a pleading voice so he had no choice but to stop and turn back. "I'm not promising I'm ever gonna like her, but… for you, I guess I could, try and be nicer…"

"That makes me really happy. Thank you." She smiled at him and he returned it. "I'm going to bed. Save me a seat at breakfast."

"Sure thing."

Dear Merlin, what was he getting himself into?


	10. My friends call me Vladimir

**Author's Note: This is a long chapter, but I hope it makes up for the fact I haven't written in awhile. But let me just say, writing this chapter was worth all the homework I shirked for it. :) Enjoy!**

It had been about a month since the homecoming dance and Willow felt like she was living in a dream. Barty's niceties hadn't faded like she had expected, but it was all just too good to be true. At first she didn't know what to except from him since his mood swings were like the weather. When he first talked to her he was a terrible bastard and the next he was all sunshine and roses and then overnight he became her best friend (although don't tell that to Faith.) She didn't know why she was so quick to trust him, it had to be more than that charming smile after all. But he showed her what he really looked like on the inside and in turn she had to do the same. She didn't know why he was so quick to trust her when he was so afraid of anyone else finding out what he had told her. He even constantly reminded her not to tell anyone for weeks afterwards.

He was such a strange person, she had never met anyone like him. He was so fidgety for a long time and worried constantly that she was going to shoot him in the foot the first moment he turned his back. He had let her in but it took him this whole month to lighten up and begin to trust her. For a long time he had nit picked at her every day, wanting constant reassurance that she wasn't going to beat him with the stick he had accidently given her. She always reassured him, and then the next day he would ask again, and the cycle continued. He even told her one day that if she was going to betray him to just get it over with now. Quick like ripping off a band-aid.

Then three days ago he just stopped. She didn't realize he hadn't asked her until it was night and she was tucked up in bed, dreaming away about him as was her habit lately. She had promised herself she wouldn't fall for him, but he was everything she had dreamed of for so long. When he wasn't being self-conscious and a worrywart he was the sweetest boy ever. They talked and talked and talked some more. He not only listened to her, he wanted to know everything she didn't tell him as well. He wasn't exactly shy either, he shared practically every thought that popped into his head. She felt like she was his release from the dark world he lived in, because whenever she saw him around Bella and his other friends she noticed how he didn't say much, but around her his floodgates opened and you couldn't pay him to shut up. Chocolate frogs, history homework, broomsticks, lunch, squeaky shoes… it was a never ending swirling vortex, sometimes she felt like she was inside his brain. She knew that if she wasn't so enamored with him he would be annoying.

Yet she was, and she couldn't help it. She hung off his every word and he off hers. It was a very strange relationship they had. She felt like his addiction, like now that he had this outlet where someone actually listened to him, he couldn't give it up. They had to make time to spend with each other because he was very concerned with keeping her away from his friends, or more specifically Bella. In his mind he was convinced that something bad would happen if he had the two of them conversed for more than a minute and Willow was nearly convinced as well. He couldn't tell her why Bella apparently had such a grudge against her, but she knew that was because he didn't know himself, not out trying to keep something from her. Whenever she talked with Faith about it she would laugh to herself and refuse to tell her what was so funny, but she had a feeling she had some idea about Bella's true motives and wasn't letting on.

Faith didn't care too much for Barty either, and out of all her friends Faith's was the only opinion that really mattered. Faith was still convinced he was out to hurt her no matter how long he hung around, how nice he was, and how much he confided in her. So therefore they had to keep each other away from their friends, so whenever they spent time together, they had to spend it alone, which Willow had no complaints about. She liked having him all to herself. This way they could tell each other whatever they wanted without anyone else listening in. No Faith making snide comments, no Bella shooting death glares at her. They were better off just the two of them, and Willow didn't mind all the individualized attention.

Over a month they had worked out all the kinks in their friendship and when was best to see each other and when it was best to be alone or with there friends. Meal times, class and after curfew seemed to be the easiest times to spend with their friends. They spent every potions class together though amusing each other and astounding Slughorn with their skills. Whenever they found free time they had taken to wondering the grounds together and exploring or just sitting under their now favorite oak tree and talking endlessly. When the weather was bad they sat in the library whispering to each other over ancient books and trying to avoid being scolded by the librarian.

Every moment they had together was perfect, and she wanted it to last forever, yet she still had this terrible feeling it was all going to fall apart. Like the novelty of the special friendship they had was going to wear off, or he was going to get tired of her, or discover that he could have this kind of relationship with Bella or worse, a romantic relationship with her enemy, and where would she be then? Kicked to the side and forgotten about like she never existed. She dreaded all these things yet every day he smiled brightly when he saw her and seemed even more enthusiastic about the pointless things he had thought about that he needed to catch her up on. He was even beginning to experiment with hugging more. It was still rare for him but every once in awhile he would give her a parting embrace, especially on the days where the time seemed to go by in an instant and she felt like it was almost painful for him to have to leave her when he was so unsatisfied. She sometimes hoped for those days, because those were the days he pulled her into his arms and held onto her awkwardly as he still didn't know how to properly hold her in his arms, but she didn't mind. His arms were always warm and comforting and he held onto her like he didn't want to let go but eventually his arms slipped away and she was left alone.

They were getting used to each other, for a long time there was a bunch of uncertainty, especially with him asking her every day if she was going to backstab him. Then he stopped and the past three days had been better than ever. An ugly weight seemed to have been lifted off of him and he seemed more cheerful and confident when he was around her, like he was finally fully reassured that she wasn't going to leave him and he had a real friend he could count on. It seemed extremely important to him that he always have this, someone to talk to and confide in, and she was just ecstatic it was her.

Today was an exceptionally sunny day, the perfect day to be outside, yet Willow was sentenced to an entire afternoon in the dungeon. Double potions was never more appealing though, as she was partnered with the most handsome boy in their year, at least in her eyes. She even arrived early out of her excitement despite the fact that Barty was always only just on time like all Slytherins. No matter all his charms he was a Slytherin at heart. His jokes sometimes were dirty and cruel and he wondered why she didn't think they were funny in the way he did, but she had gotten used to his wicked since of humor and in turn humored him when he was looking for her to laugh at his jokes. She didn't mind his darker side because his light out shown all his darkness. But she also worried slightly because the more comfortable he became around her the less he watched what he said, and sometimes he said terrible things. She wondered just how long she would be able to look the other way.

There was no one else in the potions class when she arrived because everyone else was eager to soak up every last bit of sunshine they could manage before they were forced to go to class, so she sat at her usual desk and pulled out the novel she had been currently reading in her spare time. It was called The Yellow Rose and it was about a girl who falls in love with a ghost. It was a bit cheesy but she was a sucker for anything romantic.

She was so engrossed in her book she nearly jumped out of her seat when someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Faith…" She said when she saw her friend laughing lightly at how high she had gotten her to jump.

"What's up? Why are you sitting here reading, indoors? It's beautiful out today."

"I like being early."

"I'd do anything to not be in this class right now. I'd even play Fang Frisbee with Trevor…" She shuddered a little at the thought. "Then again…"

"Is he still trying to guilt you into hanging out with him Saturday?" Willow asked. It was the schools first trip to Hogsmead this weekend and Trevor had been trying to corner Faith for a week and a half now. He was beyond acting desperate.

"I don't know how many times I've said no to the little dork. And every time I turn a corner he's there with that ridiculous grin on his face, it makes me want to hit him."

"He's not that bad."

"It's easy for you to say, he's not hounding you."

"Not all attention form boys are bad you know."

"You just say that because you've got mister hot to trot on your tail and not the four eyed monster from Mordor."

"He's not on my tail, were just friends."

"I've seen the way he looks at you, he wants to be more than friends in all the worst ways."

"Will you stop it."

"Just because you fancy him…"

"I do not!" She scoffed even though it was pretty much true.

"Oh whatever… you can lie to yourself but you can't lie to me. I'm your best friend, and don't forget it either. I'm not going to let him usurp me just because he gives you free tickets to the gun show."

"He showed me his mussels once, and only because you kept going on about how he didn't have any."

"Whatever… He was all like; look how ripped I am, I can bench press a whole castle, my friends call me Vladimir." Faith mocked, mimicking Barty showing off his mussels. Willow started laughing despite herself and Faith finally let her niggling smile loose. "See, you think my impressions are funny."

"I don't… I really don't." She said laughing harder and Faith tried to control herself as she continued to mime Barty flexing in a number of different ways.

"It's so flattering to know you girls talk about me when I'm not around." Trevor said coming up behind Faith. Willow immediately burst out laughing while a horrified sort of sick look came about Faith's face. "So, double potions, who's excited." He said smiling brightly.

"One, Two, Three… not me." Faith said.

"Your so funny. Isn't she funny?" Trevor asked turning to Willow.

"Yes she is." She said trying to control her laughter. Faith looked like she was about to murder someone. Someone the same height, width and depth as… oh lets say, Trevor.

"Why don't you go set up our station." Faith said, using anything to get him away from her.

"Alright…" He said wondering off to their desk, struggling to carry his caldron, and he thought they were talking about him. And least when Barty showed off there was something to look at.

"You have got to hang out with me Saturday. I can't be left alone with that creepster." Faith said lowering her voice so he didn't overhear.

"Sure, and he isn't that creepy, he's just like an overly excited puppy."

"Yeah… And you have to get some sunshine today. We're all playing Frisbee after dinner, even Captain Creepy over there. We're playing against some Hufflepuffs, it's your duty."

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it."

"Good, we need all the help we can get. They have like five buff guys from their Quidditch team, and all we have is…" She looked over her shoulder at Trevor who had opened a random jar from his supply kit and was smelling it, then pulled away quickly, repulsed by what he had smelled. "Well…"

"I could ask Barty to join us."

"No way."

"Why not…"

"He is intolerable for one."

"How is he worse than…" They both looked over at Trevor who now was looking contently at something at the bottom of his caldron and put his arm in to scratch at whatever he saw there. "That…"

"He can't play, he's not one of us. And secondly, I'd take Captain Creepy over there over Captain Testosterone any day."

"Who are we talking about?" Barty asked appearing at there side, smiling brightly.

"No one important…" Willow quickly lied, smiling at him causing his smile grow even bigger.

"So, how has your day been?" He asked her, but Faith answered him.

"It would be a lot better if this class were suddenly canceled."

"Aw… Come on. It's Potions. Fun fun fun." He said smiling and looking from her back over to Willow.

"That's what I've been saying!!" Trevor said rejoining there little circle, and absentmindedly resting his hand on Barty's shoulder. Barty's head immediate whipped around and his eyes and face darkened, giving Trevor a look that came directly from his Slytherin breeding. Faith immediately wished she was capable of mustering a look like that from the way Trevor's eyes widened with fear.

"Get your hand off me." Barty said in such a deep voice that it was more threatening that if he had yelled. Barty might be the nicest guy around Willow, but he was still a Slytherin at heart and a Slytherin was never just one of the guys. Every Slytherin had a superiority complex and Barty was no exception. There were certain unwritten rules when interacting with a Slytherin and Trevor had just broken a big one.

Trevor slowly removed his hand and looked around like he was trying to find something to say but couldn't so he just turned and went back to his desk. "That… Was… Amazing…" Faith said.

"What was?" Barty asked moving towards his seat and tossing his bag down and getting out his textbook.

"But…" Faith stammered looking from Barty to Trevor.

"Let it go." Willow said. "He's literally unaware of what just happened. It's just how he interacts with the world."

"I want him to teach me how to do that!"

Slughorn picked that moment to enter the class so Faith was forced to go to her seat instead of hound Barty about his evil skills. Willow turned round in her seat so that she was facing forward and Barty scooted his stool closer to hers. She could tell he was dying to talk to her, but Slughorn had begun class and was prattling away about something that only half the class was really listening to, as he was writing the days assignment on the blackboard, there was no need to listen to him.

Barty had taken out some scrap parchment and was busily scribbling notes while Willow stared blankly at the back of Slughorn's head. Then Barty passed the paper he had been writing on to her and she smiled when she realized he had been writing to her.

_Hey. How has your day been?_

Willow smiled and got out her quill and began writing back to him.

_Pretty good. I'm excited there's only one more day until the weekend. How about you?_

_Okay… I'm excited about the weekend too. First trip to Hogsmead. Are you going?_

_Yeah! I wouldn't miss it._

_We should go together…_

Just then Slughorn stopped talking, signaling that it was time to start working. "So, how about it?" Barty asked as Willow got out the ingredients listed on the board. "Or do you already have plans, or don't want to."

"Oh, I'd love to." She replied and he smiled widely, she would never turn down an opportunity to hang out with him. "But I did promise my friend I would hang out with her so she isn't at the mercy of her stalker."

"Are you talking about…" Barty said nodding his head in Faith's direction who had just smacked Trevor on the back on the hand with the handle of her knife for trying to touch her.

"Yeah…" Barty made a slight face.

"I guess I could hang out with the two of you, help you guys shake, that thing. What is his deal anyway?"

"He doesn't understand no means no, and he automatically thinks everyone is his best friend."

"I am not his friend."

"I think you made that clear to him."

"I better have. So what are you planning on doing in Hogsmead? Where do the Ravenclaws hang?"

"Oh… A little bit of everywhere. Browse the shops, have a butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks." Barty nodded as he crushed some beetles eyes for their potion. "What do the Slytherin's usually do?"

"Oh, about the same, but except our intent is to cause trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"Oh, accidently tripping passers by, startling the owls in the Owlery, stealing acid pops from Honeyduke's… Now witch rat tail do you suppose looks more like 9 inches?" He asked holding two up for her to examine.

"That's terrible of you guys."

"What?" He asked looking at her like he didn't know what she was talking about.

"The things you guys do for fun, it's terrible."

"It's not terrible, it's fun."

"I don't think those things sound like fun."

"You just say that because you hang around with stiff shirt Ravenclaw's who don't know how to have real fun." He said half under his breath.

"Well, I'm sorry my friends aren't deceitful underhanded Slytherin criminals." Barty's eyes narrowed at her. She knew he didn't like to be spoken to like that and that he didn't like what she was saying, but she wasn't going to let him insult her friends without getting her own back.

"You know you don't know anything about what Slytherin's are like."

"I know enough from how they've treated me and my house for the past five years. All you want to do it hurt people any way you can. And how do you know what Ravenclaw's are like? We've never done anything to you."

"Yeah, because your chicken shit, and all you can muster is muttering behind your hands as we past."

"We wouldn't have to mutter behind your backs if you weren't so cruel when you're facing us."

"At least we're honest."

"You guys would lie about sun being the moon so long as you gained something from it."

"You don't know anything about us."

"You don't know anything about us either, and you've never cared to either."

"Don't pretend you Ravenclaw's ever given a damn about any of us."

"Don't act like you Slytherin's ever care about anyone but yourselves." She saw Barty bare his teeth in anger at her, ready to explode, but she didn't want to see it. She didn't want him to yell at her again like he had done the first day they has met and he was about to light that fuse. They were about to loose everything they had worked so hard to build if they hadn't already so she turned away from him and to there work. "I think this one is nine inches." She said handing a rat-tail to him who looked like he didn't want to take it and instead yell at her but he gritted his teeth and took it from her and turned away.

They spent the rest of the class in near silence only speaking to each other when it concerned there potion, which got decent marks at the end of the class but it didn't wow Slughorn like they usually did, and they both knew why. Now class was over and Willow hurriedly put away her things. She could tell Barty was itching to speak to her, but she didn't really want to hear whatever he wanted to dredge back up and argue about. She had had two hours to sit next an angry Barty and think and she finally decided she was a bit upset with him. She really liked him and it was painful when he acted hateful, and she just didn't know what she was going to do, about him or herself. She wondered if there was even a point to liking him anymore, maybe it was best to leave him to Bella, or someone else who was like him who liked to fight. She was his opposite, he had made it clear. They didn't belong together, they lived in different houses. Two completely different worlds that should never collide.

So as soon as she had put away all her things she made her way towards the door quickly even though she heard Barty call out her name. She was so stupid to fall for him. Well, not again. He didn't really like her, he just needed someone to talk to. She might as well be his psychiatrist and charge him a dollar an hour.

She hurriedly climbed the stairs out of the basement and was half way to the great hall when she heard someone call out her name. She knew who it was and she didn't want to talk to him so she didn't stop.

"Willow… Stop." Barty called to her and she didn't turn until he caught hold of two of her fingers as he reached for her hand. She stopped and looked at him and he continued to hold onto her pinky and ring finger on her left hand. "I'm really sorry about what I said. I didn't mean to get angry with you. It's just…"

"It's okay, just forget about it…" She said coldly and tried to walk away but he held onto her fingers and pulled her back.

"It's not okay, and you're not okay, and I'm really not okay. I didn't mean what I said… I was just angry. I'm such an angry person and I try not to get angry with you because I know you don't deserve it but it's hard for me. I'm used to being around people who are just like me and we don't hold it back, but I don't want you to be like my friends. I don't want us to argue. I don't want you to turn into someone like me."

"Oh Barty…" And she was falling again.

"And you're right. We are hateful and mean, and we do terrible things and I wish I could be like you. Be innocent and sweet, but I'm just not and I don't know how to be. I don't know why I am the way I am."

"You're not as terrible as you pretend you are."

"No, I'm…"

"I'm sorry about the things I said to you too. I started it, and I shouldn't have. I don't think either of us knows anything about the other's friends."

"I think your right. But I don't hate all Ravenclaw's, I think you're a very cool person."

"And not all Slytherin's are bad I suppose." She said smiling at him.

"Are we alright? I want us to be okay. I don't care about what house you're in or how wicked I can be, I just want us to be together despite it all. I want us to be friends no matter what."

"I think we can do that."

"I don't know what it is about you… but…" He said almost as if he was thinking out loud.

"What?"

"You drive me crazy. You make me feel all these things at once. You make me happy and you frustrate me and you make me smile and my innards feel all warm and fuzzy yet… I like you because you're so different than I am, but I hate you because you don't understand what I go through every day. It's like we live in two different worlds and I don't understand yours and you don't understand mine yet I'll do anything to keep you with me." She gaped at him… He had just said he liked her, but then he followed it up by saying he hated her. Barty never failed at being incapable to understand. What was really going on in that head of his? "Do you forgive me for being the way that I am?"

"Yes. There is nothing wrong with the way that you are."

"Yes there is, but as long as I have you I might be okay. Will you let me make it up to you?"

"Make what up to me?" She said smiling him. "It was just an argument, everyone has arguments."

"But I don't want to argue with you…" He said trailing off but decided against finishing that thought. "Well, will you at least have dinner with me?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, It's a nice day. How about I nick some sand witches and you steal some pasties and we have dinner on the grounds before anyone can steal our tree." He said swinging there joined hands between them gently. He was too adorable to bear. How come every time she vowed to stop falling for him he had to be so irresistible?

"That sounds lovely."

"Great, I'll meet you on the grounds in ten minutes." He said letting go of her hand, but no without first planting a kiss on her temple. She blushed like crazy, but he was already gone and headed off towards the Great Hall. Now she really didn't know what to think. She felt her heart fluttering in a new way and she dreaded what that meant. He was no longer just a crush, she was falling for him in a different way. A new and scary way. Love. So what if he was a scary Slytherin who had anger management issues. Intimidating looked good on him, and he was always apologetic, at least to her. He couldn't help who he was just as much as she couldn't help breathing, but he at least tried for her, and that was all that mattered. She could handle his rage as long as he made up for it in the end, and somehow she knew he always would, at least to her. Whatever they were he wanted it to work, and she did too…

But what were they? They were good friends, but she was falling in love with him and he always gave her those kinds of looks that made it seem like he didn't know what it was he was feeling, but he liked it just the same. The way he sometimes reached for her hand, but only to hold a few fingers, as if just to make sure she was still by his side. Then he kissed her. It wasn't a real kiss, but it felt like something much more than nothing. It sort of reminded her of what muggles call puppy love. She supposed it didn't matter what it meant, he had kissed her, and that's all she wanted to think about right now as she began walking off towards the Great Hall oblivious to the fact that someone had been watching her.

Bella had been standing behind a pillar watching Willow and Barty secretly, and she did not like what she saw.


	11. His two girls

Why did he do it! Every time things were going right he just had to go fuck things up. Why did he have to argue with her? But she forgave him. She smiled at him… Then he kissed her… Why, oh why did he do that? He didn't like her that way… but she was so cute when she smiled at him… no, he refuses to like her that way… but, her smile, her laughter, that burning feeling in the pit of his stomach… It was all because of her…. What was she doing to him…

He just didn't know himself anymore, that was all he knew. Just a month ago he knew who he was. Knew what he wanted out of day to day life. He never worried about the way he carried himself or how he interacted with others but he was beginning to care a lot, and care a lot more about someone other than himself. He didn't care about people. That's not who he was. He didn't care what they thought of him, but she was changing all of that. It was so easy not to care, but this was complicated. She was carving out his innards and replacing it with feelings. He wanted to be what she deserved. He wanted her to like what she saw and not run away, not hurt him like everyone seemed to. He wanted so much to trust her, and it was hard to, so hard, but he was beginning to let go and it was nice. He didn't know where all of this was going and he didn't really want to find out. In his experience feelings hurt too much to keep, especially close to your heart, that's why he kept none, but she was shoving some inside him, and he liked how they felt. They warmed him better than Firewhisky and he just knew the hangover was going to kick him in the teeth much much harder. But just like any addiction he couldn't stop and he knew he wouldn't be able to until she wrenched those feelings out of him and left him bleeding his emotions all over the floor. But he didn't want to think about that, so he turned out that light and pretended not to notice it. He didn't want to think she could hurt him, but only time would tell.

He didn't want to get corned by Bella about why he wasn't attending dinner so he just grabbed a handful of sandwiches off the end of the Slytherin table and turned right back around and went off to the grounds. He was disappointed to find that she wasn't waiting for him under their tree, but then he remembered that he had left her in the hallway while he rushed off to the Great Hall. So he sat down and waited, with his hands full of roast sandwiches.

Just as he was beginning to think she was ditching him he saw her coming down from the school. He smiled and took a bite of one of the sandwiches. He loved the feelings that she made him feel. Every time he thought she was going to disappoint him she proved him wrong, and he really liked that feeling.

"Sorry I took so long, Faith kept questioning me to no end, and made me promise that I'm not ditching Frisbee with her for you. So I'm sorry to say you only get me for about an hour."

"Please tell me you Ravenclaws don't play muggle Frisbee."

"No, it's Fang Frisbee. A bunch of my friends are playing against some Hufflepuffs."

"That's good. I'm glad you're not a muggle lover." He spat, even the thought made his stomach turn. Muggle lovers. They were just as bad as Mudbloods in his opinion.

"As it happens no." Thank Merlin, he didn't think he could associate with her anymore if she was.

"Great, and you know I'm pretty good at Fang Frisbee, I could maybe help out."

"Faith foresaw this and has already banned you from the game. I'm sorry."

"Well shit."

"I'm afraid she knows you too well already."

"Or she's just a bitch who hates me."

"Don't call her that."

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not the one who twisted her knickers."

"She doesn't hate you."

"She ushers me off every time I come near the two of you, what do you call that?"

"She's just protective." He scoffed. "She is. She thinks your trying to steal her position as my best friend."

"I have a solution."

"And what is that?"

"If I ever do usurp her, just continue to tell her she's your best friend but secretly love me more. I won't mind."

"That'll be awhile. I've known her since our first year."

"Eh… but I'm okay with an hour so long as she buggers off Saturday and lets me hang out with you guys."

"I'll tell her."

"Yeah, and if she tries to have a go at me, I'm not going to hold my tongue."

"Not even for me?"

"What do I get if I behave?"

"What do you want?"

"Lots of things."

"So," she said almost like she was trying to chang the topic, "do you want a meat pie? I managed to get away with two."

"Sure. And here are two sandwiches. I got away with more." He said smiling at her.

"Wicked." She said taking them from him and digging in.

------------

There hour was almost up but Barty refused to think about it. They had eaten all the food and talking about everything they missed catching up on during their potions class. He was actually out of things to talk about really but he didn't want to leave her.

"I feel so tired. Is it Saturday yet?" He asked.

"I'm afraid not." She said rooting around in her bag until she found the book she was looking for. "You just have to get through Friday."

"Ug… Friday is always the worst cause you want the weekend so bad, and I have an essay and a star chart to finish tonight."

"I'm sorry."

"I just want to sleep." He said resting his head on her shoulder.

"You'll get to soon." She said cracking open her book.

"What are you reading?" She showed him the cover. "The Yellow Rose." He read. "What's that then?"

"It's a romance novel."

"Girls," He said shaking his head and closing his eyes.

"What's that for?"

"Why you read such things."

"I happen to like the idea of romance thank you, and it's not like things that people write in these stories happen in real life."

"That's not true. People fall in love all the time."

"Yeah, but… I just…"

"What?"

"Sometimes I just feel like it will never happen to me, or at least it won't be the kind of fairy tale every girl imagines."

"Don't say that." He said opening his eyes and looking at her. "You deserve a knight and shining armor, or whatever it is you girls dream of." He just wished it was him, but she deserved more and he knew it. Even though he knew this it didn't stop him from reaching for her hand, but he only took up her two fingers closest to him and gently squeezed them in his palm. He didn't know why he always held her hand like this, it was almost as if he was afraid of really holding her hand and what that would mean, but he had to touch her, to feel her warm skin. It made him feel better and she always smiled at him when he did so he thought she felt the same.

She didn't say anything back so he shut his eyes again and resumed resting on her shoulder, continuing holding onto her fingers. He didn't want to let go of her, he wanted to hold onto her forever.

The sun was so warm on his skin, and he felt so at easy he began to drift off slightly. She was silently reading her book and didn't pull her hand away from his, so nothing disturbed his peace. He wished every day was like this, this kind of comfort and ease with nothing to interrupt it.

"Barty!" He heard his name called and he immediately knew the voice. He sat up quickly and opened his eyes, dropping Willows hand even faster for Bella was marching down the lawn towards them. "You're supposed to be helping me with my Astronomy homework, Barty, or did you forget?" She asked hatefully when she reached him looking at Willow angrily.

"Oh yeah, sorry." He said getting up and grabbing his bag, he needed to get his two girls separated as quickly as possible for Bella looked very angry and when Bella's angry she was uncontrollable and he didn't want Willow to get hurt, again. He looked down at her. He didn't want to leave her, but he didn't really have a choice. "I've got to go." He said looking down on Willow.

"Barty, come on!" Bella said exasperated, beginning to march off back to the castle without him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, or defiantly Saturday."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye." He said and turned and ran after Bella.

"We we're supposed to start right after dinner."

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you show up to dinner?"

"Willow and I decided to have dinner together on the lawn, since we hardly see each other, you know." He said following her into the castle.

"You see her all the time!"

"Not really…"

"She sees you more than I do."

"You know that's not true, I'm with you nearly all day. We have all the same classes, we eat together, study together. I don't see what's so wrong about me spending time with a friend."

"Are you still deluding yourself like that?"

"What do you mean?" He asked as he followed her down into the basement where she stopped and looked at him at the base of the stairs.

"Oh come on Barty. We all know you're more than just friends."

"We are, just friends. I don't know why you keep thinking otherwise."

"You kissed her for Merlin's sake Barty, how much longer are you going to lie to yourself."

"What?" He nearly yelled. How the hell did she know about that?

"Barty…" She said looking away from him, like she didn't want to explain herself.

"How the hell do you know about that? Have you been spying on me?!"

"Barty, come on. You kissed her in a public hallway. Everyone walking by saw it, it's not my fault your blind." He didn't know how to reply. He didn't want to think about why he had kissed her and he especially didn't want to discuss it with Bella. "So come on Barty. Why did you kiss her if she's just your friend?"

"I was just trying… to be nice. She was upset, I was trying to comfort her. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. It didn't mean anything."

"Yeah, right, and that explains why you've been drooling over her for a month now and keep holding her hand. You act like a little lovesick puppy around her. The whole school thinks you're dating, or at least about ready to announce it any day now."

"Does it look like I care what the whole school thinks of me? They thought for years that you and I were about to start dating any minute, so they're obviously not right about everything." Her face fell at this but he didn't pause to ponder on why because honestly he didn't care. "So, I am not and am not going to date her. Got it?"

"Merlin's beard Barty… Get a grip. Either ditch her or just shag her already and get it over with. I'm a bit tired of living in a soap opera."

"Why don't you just fuck off! It's none of your business what's going on between me and Willow, and I'm only going to tell you this one more time. We're just friends, so shut the fuck up and drop it." He yelled before he began storming off towards their dormitory.

"I'm just trying to help you Barty, I don't like seeing my best friend all tense like this. If you really like her you should just shag her so you can move on with your life. You can do much better than her Barty, but if you've got a craving for cherries just eat the damn things already."

"Onyx!" He nearly yelled the password to their dorm. It was a good thing it was so deep down in the dungeons no one came down this far but them.

"I'm just saying, the sooner you work out whatever problems your having the sooner you'll be able to realize what an idiot your being."

"Do you want me to help you with your home work or not?" Barty asked, turning to her only when they were in the middle of their nearly deserted common room.

"Well, yeah…"

"Then SHUT UP!!!!!!!"


	12. Hogsmeade Part 1

**Author's Note: I am SUPER sorry for not updating this story in ages. Ages and ages, I know. I do really want to continue this story and am really interested in where it is going. So I will try my hardest to update regularly from now on. I hope I can keep that promise, we'll see. Anyways, I hope this chapter was worth that wait, and to all new readers who have no idea what I'm speaking about, HI! :)**

Willow looked across the table with a disgusted look on her face. It was Saturday morning and she felt like she was loosing her appetite watching Trevor eat. She had only sat down across from him because Faith was sitting next to him, but she should have known that Faith hadn't purposefully sat next to him. After only a few minutes Faith had excused herself for undisclosed reasons, but Willow saw her grab a stack of toast as she walked off.

Now Willow was left all alone with Captain Creepy and had to watch him slurp down his porridge and dip his toast in it all while talking with his mouth full. It was enough to make a girl loose her appetite, but she was hungry so she tried to keep her eyes on her plate while she ate and pretend not to hear that constant slurping noise.

"So," Trevor said, "what are we all going to do in Hogsmeade today?" ~Slurp~

"I really don't know, nothing interesting I suspect." She knew trying to deter him like this never worked but it was worth trying.

"As long as Faith's there it's always interesting."

"She might not even go, she was telling me last night how she was feeling ill." She quickly lied. If this worked Faith would be extremely happy.

"Yeah, she did look kind of green before she took off." Anyone would turn green watching you eat, Willow thought. "I hope she comes though."

"Uh huh."

"Do you think she likes me?" Oh Merlin… She didn't really want to tell him the truth, yet he did ask didn't he. She didn't want to hurt his feelings but she really didn't want to give him anymore false hope. He manufactured enough of that on his own.

"I don't think she really likes anyone. She just wants to concentrate on her classes and stuff, you know."

"All work and no play. I guess I'll have to try and fix that."

"I really don't think it's worth trying to be honest, she is very stubborn."

"You know nothing is worth it unless you have to work at it."

"You know there are other girls in this school, maybe you should think about dating one of them and let Faith be for the time being."

"Other girls, eh?" He said and he gave her the look and she wished she hadn't even spoken. She didn't mean herself as other girls! No, no, no, no, no… "I could defiantly think about it." He said giving her a flirtatious smile that made her want to vomit on the rest of her eggs.

"Hey," said a deep voice from behind her and she sighed in relief. "Are you ready to go?"

She turned and looked up and smiled brightly at Barty. He always knew exactly when to show up. This was also the first time she had seen him out of his school robes as he was wearing a deep purple t-shirt and jeans, and she couldn't help but notice how good he looked this way.

"Yeah," she said getting up and glancing at Trevor who was purposefully avoiding eye contact with Barty and concentrating on his porridge and actually managing not to slurp it for the first time all breakfast out of fear. Before she followed Barty off she grabbed a handful of toast and uttered a quick goodbye to Trevor.

"You have a good breakfast?" He asked her as they exited the great hall.

"Not exactly. You want some toast?" She asked and handed him a slice which he took. Boys never passed up food.

"What do you mean not exactly? Was that little twerp bothering you?"

"A bit. He eats like a pig. It kind of makes you loose your appetite. And he kept harping on Faith and I tired to encourage him to stop and maybe think about other girls, and I think he thought I was flirting with him." She complained.

"You weren't were you?" Barty asked as they went out onto the grounds.

"Hell no, and I really don't want him drooling all over me like he does Faith. Ugh! What am I going to do Barty…" She said clinging to his arm and burying her face in his shoulder dramatically as they walked.

"If he tries anything just tell me and my fist and his face will become a little better acquainted."

"That's sweet of you, and slightly violent."

"That's how I roll."

"I don't really want him hurt, I just don't want him to make me his next love target."

"I'll make sure he doesn't."

"You just hanging around as my friend might be enough to do the trick. He's super scared of you."

"He should be. Just let me know the next time he messes with you or Faith and I'll knock his lights out." She felt the mussels in his arm tense as he said this so she let go of his arm.

"You'd do that for us, even though you don't like Faith."

"You're my friend and it's obvious that you girls need protection so I'll volunteer my services."

"Faith would argue that she doesn't need your services, that she can take care of herself."

"It's obvious she can't since that little bugger has been bothering her for how long?"

"No comment."

"My point exactly."

"What about me?"

"I don't really care if you can fight your own battles. I care about you and I'm not going to let anyone even try to hurt you. Consider me your champion, fighting in your honor."

"That sounds very romantic." She said suggestively.

"I thought you liked romantic?" She blushed hard and looked away from his appraising eye. "So, where to first?"

"My friends usually meet up at the Three Broomsticks. Where do your friends meet up."

"Well, one of us usually comes into the possession of some kind of hard liquor and we meet up behind the Owl Post and drink."

"Ehhh…" She couldn't help but say.

"Hey, I didn't say anything about what you and your friends do. Are we meeting Faith at The Three Broomsticks?"

"Yeah."

"Did you tell her I was coming?"

"Yes. She wasn't too happy, but I convinced her we could use all the help we can get to stave off Trevor, and she certainly likes the power of the evil eye you gave Trevor in potions class Thursday."

"Did you tell her she had better leave me alone?"

"Yes. Again she didn't really like that, but I told her she had better play nice, for my sake. I told her you were going to be on your best behavior for me, so now she feels like it's a competition."

"Maybe it is." She looked at him curiously as he munched on his slice of toast. She just couldn't figure him out. Did he like her or were they really just friends to him. He acted one way and then would say something completely different. It was beyond frustrating.

She pondered on this all the way to Hogsmeade while they talked lightly about past adventures while there. Barty was in the middle of telling her some story about when Rookwood found some fireworks and they lit them off in the middle of the crowded street to cause a scene when they approached the Three Broomsticks.

"That was you!" She said a little shocked as she pushed open the door and went inside the warm pub.

"Yeah, it was so much fun watching everyone running about and screaming. Good times."

"Those were not good times. I was in that crowd, Barty."

"Oh…" He said his face suddenly falling as they approached the bar top together. She knew she was making him reevaluate his past but she didn't care, he needed to think more about his actions.

"Yes oh. I got burned on the leg by one of them. I had to go see nurse when I went back to the castle."

"I'm really sorry. If I had known…"

"You did know Barty, you just didn't care who you were hurting."

"Listen, I don't know what to say, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't even know you then."

"You did mean to and you did know me, we've been going to the same school for five years. You just didn't care to notice me!" She was beginning to get loud but the bar was full and awful noisy so no one noticed.

"What do you want me to say Willow? I can't take it back and I am dreadfully sorry my friends ever hurt you. All I can promise is that it will never happen again."

"Yeah…" She said looking away from him and towards the bar, trying to get the attention of the barmaid. She needed a drink, now.

"Are you okay?"

"Peachy." She said angrily still not looking at him. "God, I hate this place, it's so hard to get service." She said even angrier as she clinched her fist.

"Willow look at me please."

"No." She replied because she felt on the verge of tears and didn't want to face him.

"Please don't let what I did two years ago ruin our day today. I'm different, everything is different. It's not two years ago today, we're friends now and that changes everything." She still didn't look at him but his words did make her feel better, slightly. "Hey, it's just us today, and I promise I won't light your cloak on fire or put boogies in your drink when you're not looking." She suppressed her laugh that came bubbling to the surface but she couldn't suppress her smile before he saw it. "There's that smile I love. Come on, you know you want to smile again for me. Please…" He said in that deep sexy voice of his which she was still determined to ignore until he brushed the hair away from her face and his cold fingers brushed against her skins giving her goosebumps. She couldn't help but look at him now as his fingertips gently massaged her hairline and ear. He was too irresistible. "Forgive me?"

"Yes." She said simply and he held his arms open for her and she freely accepted his embrace.

"Things are different now, I promise." He whispered into her ear.

"Really?" She whispered back but her never got a chance to answer because an unexpected body from next to them began to speak, frightening them and they broke apart with speed.

"I've been waving at you two from my table since you came in. Now hurry, one of you come to the table with me before it's taken."

"But Faith, I, we haven't…" Willow said as Faith began dragging her roughly by the arm through the crowd and away from Barty who was trying to follow them through the crowd with little success.

They made it back to the table before anyone claimed their seats. Faith plopped down in the wooden seat sighing with accomplishment. Willow was slightly annoyed and refused to sit down until Barty joined them who was still making his way to them.

"That wasn't kind Faith." She barked at her friend angrily.

"I was sick to death of waiting here alone. I've been saving this table for nearly an hour!"

"Hey…" Barty said finally joining them.

"You shouldn't have left breakfast so early then!" She yelled back.

"Someone's angry…"

"I am, because you abandoned me and left me with Trevor this morning."

"I'm going to go get us some drinks. Want anything?" He asked her but Faith answered.

"I'm fine thanks." Faith said raising her half finished pint.

"I'll have a butterbeer, wait I'll give you the money." She said beginning to open up her bag.

"No. It's on me." He said with a dashing smile before he disappeared on his way to the bar.

"What are you so angry about?" Faith asked as she plopped down into a chair across from her.

"I'm just not having the best of days today, alright, and everyone just keeps upsetting me at every turn. It's not fun."

"I thought today was going to be marvelous for you since you have your boy toy squiring you around, buying you drinks and such."

"In theory its marvelous, but Barty and I keep having rows with each other. I just don't know what to do, I mean most of the time he's more than lovely and yet others…" She stopped herself. She didn't really want to say it out loud, admit to the fact Barty wasn't like them, not really. She didn't want to admit to those scary moments when she realized he was sorted into Slytherin house for a reason.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing, I'm being stupid, that's all. But Trevor this morning, oh my God!" She said changing the subject quickly so that Faith would hopefully forget to question her further. "I was trying to talk him out of his obsession with you and told him he should think about other girls instead and I think he thought I was hitting on him, which makes me want to kill myself."

"Oh dear Merlin, no wonder your upset. I wouldn't wish Trevor on my worst enemies."

"I know, I don't want him hanging around me like he does you. I wish he would just bugger off and leave us all alone."

"Who should bugger off?" Barty said returning to the table with two pints of butterbeer.

"You." Faith said snottily as he sat down next to Willow. She still hadn't given up her grudge against him. Barty didn't waver though, and instead turned to Willow.

"Trevor." She answered him properly.

"Oh yes, the scrawny git. Here," he said sliding the drink he had boughten her in front of her.

"Oh thank you Barty, you didn't have to." She said smiling widely at him.

"Yes I did." He said before he took a large gulp of his drink, giving himself a foam mustache in the process which made her laugh. "What?"

"You just grew the most amazing mustache." She giggled before he used his tongue to clean it off. "No, I was beginning to like it."

"I don't like mustaches."

"Well they seem to like you. You missed a spot."

"Where?"

"Here." She said pointing to her own lip before he licked it off.

"Stop laughing at me." He said jovial.

"I can't help it, you're so funny." She said taking a good long drink out of her mug. "Mmmm… that tastes good." Barty began to laugh at her and he didn't need to say why. She immediately began licking off her mustache while he laughed at her. "Did I get it all?"

"Not quite." He replied so she swished her tongue this way and that trying to remove it quickly. "Let me," he said leaning close to her and using his thumb to remove the foam from the corner on her mouth. Then he gazed at her hard with his amazing chocolate eyes as he licked the foam from his finger. She had never witness anything quite so sexy.

"I think I'm going to barf." Faith said breaking them from their trance.

"Sorry," she said feeling bad for Faith. She didn't mean to constantly get distracted by Barty, it was just, well, he's very distractible.

"Whatever, so tell me more about what Trevor did."

"Well, he…" She began but Faith interrupted her.

"Oh my Merlin, there he is, don't look." But it was too late both she and Barty turned and saw Trevor enter the Three Broomsticks. He saw them of course and waved at them as he approached the bar top to order a drink. "Why does he always have to follow us? Why…"

"Do you two really want him gone?" Barty asked.

"I've never wanted anything more." Faith replied quickly.

"Leave it to me then."

"What are you going to do?" Willow asked.

"What I do best."

"What are you going to do?" Willow asked worriedly.

"Just trust me."

"Barty, please don't do anything horrid."

"I know what I'm doing."

As soon as he had uttered these words Trevor bounded towards the table happily and sat down in the empty chair besides Faith. "What's shaking my lovelies?" Trevor said looking from Faith to Willow. Her niceties earlier had obviously put her on his 'to stalk' list. It made her want to vomit. "Faith, I'm glad you made it. I hope you're feeling better."

"I…" Faith began looking to Barty for the help he had offered just moments before.

"What do you think you're doing?" Barty asked Trevor.

"Sorry?" Trevor asked turning to Barty whom he had obviously overlooked earlier when he had sat down.

"That's my mates seat your sitting in. What do you think you're doing sitting down at our table?"

"I was… just saying hi to the girls."

"I didn't see them ask you to sit down."

"Yeah but…"

"But what? We didn't ask you to sit down at this table in my friends seat who will be back any minute to find a scrawny little git in his place. Now do you want to get up and leave on your own or do you need me to help you there?" Barty said raising from his seat a little in a threatening manner.

"No, no… I'm going. I'll… I'll talk to you girls later." He said quickly getting up and stumbling off to a destinations unknown.

"That. Was. Awesome." Faith said, smiling at Barty for the first time all day. He instead was looking to Willow for approval.

"How did I do? Not too mean was I?"

"No, thank you Barty." She replied with a small smile.

"Anytime."

"Well, I'm off you kids." Faith said standing.

"What? I thought we were meant to spend the day together?"

"A girls got things to do. Have fun you two." She said with a smile.

"Thanks." Barty said sipping his butterbeer without a care that there plans were suddenly changing drastically. If anything he seemed happier.

Faith began to walk away so Willow stood up and followed her off and made her stop a few paces from the table. "Where are you going?"

"Giving you some alone time with your boy. You two obviously want to be alone with one another, I can take a hint."

"Oh Faith, I didn't mean to be rude and ignore you. You know I didn't, stay, I will stop ignoring you. Promise."

"It's no bother, I don't mind. Now that Captain Creepy is off my tail for the day I'll be free to enjoy Hogsmeade for once without his presence. You should do the same. Enjoy yourself, and who knows, maybe you'll come back to the common room this evening with a boyfriend." She said with a genuine smile.

"Do you really think so?" She asked Faith who made an 'I don't know' sort of noise and smirked.

"Have fun." She said giving her a brief hug before she left. She looked over at Barty who was watching her. He gave her a toothless smile when their eyes met and she couldn't help but wonder if Faith could be right.


	13. Hogsmeade Part 2

They had stayed in the Three Broomsticks for a while, chatting lightly and flirting with one another. He didn't quite know why he found her so irresistible. He had never really even flirted with anyone before her. He had never had a reason to before. It came so easy to him now, with her, that it was becoming hard to stop. He didn't feel like this around anyone else, like he wanted to impress her, keep her near, keep her safe. He kept on wondering why her, but it didn't seem to matter much. She seemed to like him back as much as he liked her. She returned his smiles, accepted his hand, and leaned in close to him whenever they were near. It made his stomach flip flop but he somehow liked that feeling.

Now they were in Tomes and Scrolls looking through the discount book bin in the front window. He had never really found anyone who shared his interest in reading before so he had let it go by the wayside recently. He thought it was nice though standing here, very close to Willow, giggling as they showed each other the ridiculous books they found.

"Look at this one, _The Boggart Under My Bed. _Is that meant to be frightening?" He asked her holding up the book before he tossed it back into the bin.

"Look how cute this book looks." She said holding up some teen witch gushy romance novel.

"_The White Lily_," he read.

"Here, listen to this," she said as she began to read him the back cover. "_Clover Wellington thought that this summer would be just like any other but she didn't know_…"

He got distracted when he heard an o' so familiar cackle and he looked up and saw a group of his friends pass by the window talking loudly and laughing to themselves. He immediately felt a pull inside him to join them and know what the joke was so that he could laugh too, but it only lasted a moment and Willows voice brought him back. "What do you think Barty?"

"Yeah, yeah… real romantic." He said with a smile before he turned back to the window and looked down the street trying to catch a glimpse of his friends but they were gone from sight now.

"You want to hang out with your friends don't you?" She said a little sadly.

"No, no… I'm spending the day with you, no better person to be with."

"We could go hang out with them for a bit. I don't mind. We were meant to hangout with my friends today, it wouldn't be kind if I wasn't willing to spend the day with yours."

"I don't really want to hang out with my friends. Trust me, I'd much rather be here with you." He said, and he meant it. She was good for him. He needed a little more wholesome fun in his life. "Come on, I want to see what kind of books they have in the back room." He said taking her hand and moving her away from the window.

"What kind of books do you read for fun?" She asked him once they started perusing the bookshelves in the empty back room. This store didn't seem to have many customers, he observed. He kind of liked it that way. Too many of the other stores were overly crowded. He liked privacy.

"I like a good mystery."

"I like…"

"Romances." He finished for her. "You've told me." She stuck her tongue out at him over the table of books they were looking at. "Where I come from, that is very offensive." He said jokingly. In response she put her thumb to the end of her nose and wiggled her fingers at him tauntingly. "That's it, now your getting it." He said rushing around the table to get to her. She began running too and they circled the table a time or two laughing before he caught a hold of her and began tickling her.

She laughed loud and tried to fight her way out of his arms but he held her tight and tickled her more aggressively. They were getting a bit loud but they didn't notice until the owner of the shop walked by and 'hemed' rather loudly at them. They heard him and separated quickly slightly embarrassed and started pretending they were reading books until he stopped giving them a 'you should be ashamed of yourselves' look and went away. When he was gone they looked at each other and giggled.

When they settled down she leaned against him gently and cuddled against him as she took genuine interest in the book she was holding. He nuzzled into her hair and breathed deeply. She smelled like apricots. He couldn't ignore the feelings that were churning inside of him. She was greatly arousing him. He suddenly wanted her, badly.

He wrapped his arm around her waist brining her closer to him. She turned and smiled at him briefly before continuing to read the back of the book she was holding. He used his free hand to take up hers but she still didn't look at him, she was too engrossed in her book. He was left with no choice and he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. This got her attention and she looked up at him with her big blue eyes.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" He asked playing with her hand idly, he really wanted to just be alone with her for awhile.

"I'd like that." She said with the most beautiful smile. He smirked back at her naughtily and she blushed touching her hair and turning away from him. She was being shy. He liked that. In a way it made him want her more.

She laid down her book and he held her hand tight and led her out of the bookshop and down the street. He was beginning to become a bit giddy because he knew what was about to happen, and he just knew she would say yes to him. He wanted her so badly his whole body was growing hot, even in the cool fall air.

He led her down a small alleyway he was used to taking with his friends that he knew led to the secluded woods. Woods in which he had already gotten up to many unwholesome things in, and he couldn't wait to get lost in them with her. He wanted to touch her body and caress her and undress her. He was already starting to get hard thinking about it. He hadn't planned on doing this today, but as soon as he thought about it, it was all he wanted in the world.

"Oh how pretty." Willow commented once the woods opened up to them.

"You've never been back here before?"

"No. I usually stick to the shops and the pub."

"See what you're missing?"

"Yeah. Maybe your world isn't all bad." She said giving him a look which only kindled the fire raging inside him.

They walked on for a little ways in the woods and she coo and awed over the pretty trees and the deer they caught a glimpse of before it ran away from them.

"Oh Barty did you see? He looked sooo cute." She said stopping beside him and leaning into him slightly as she made a little face over the animal so that her lips pursed slightly. Oh he just wanted to kiss her so bad.

He had never kissed anyone before. He wondered what it would be like, what her lips would taste like, what her tongue would feel like. He had never thought he could be comfortable enough to kiss anyone, but he wanted to give away his first kiss to her. He was ready, he trusted her.

He gently pushed her up against the nearest tree and placed his hands slowly around her waist before he pushed his body against hers. The intense closeness made her gasp and question him. "Barty, what are you doing?"

"I want you Willow. I have for a while. I was unsure before, but I am now." He said leaning his face in closer to hers.

"Barty…" She breathed quietly and her voice shook. That didn't sound like a no, so he continued to come closer and she placed her hands on his chest and as he drew even nearer her one hand slid to the back of his neck as if she was drawing him closer. This made his heart leap as there noses finally touched and he began tilting his head and closing his eyes.

That's when a gaggle of catcalls interrupted them and he pulled away with fright before there lips ever touched. His head whipped in the direction of the noise immediately and saw three of his friends approaching, laughing wildly and whistling with amusement. Yaxley, Rookwood, and… of course, Bella. Damn it!

"Oh, Barty. Don't stop on our account, go on, kiss her." She said sealing her comment with her signature cackle. The two others joined in and laughed wildly with her at his embarrassment.

He felt so ashamed. He had wanted to be alone with Willow, not have everyone gawk at them while they shared one of the most intimate of moments. At least they had announced themselves before he had kissed her. He did not want to share that experience with them.

He decided against answering Bella's comment and instead said, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"It's a public forest, Bartemius. We came here for a little privacy and a stiff drink." She said waving a bottle of Firewhisky about. He knew she was pissed at him. She only used his full name when she was angry. "It seems though we weren't the only ones who came here for a little privacy, right boys?" They all laughed at him again. He felt his blood boiling straight to his cheeks, but he refused to blush. Then he felt Willow take a hold of his hand slightly and he looked to her. If this situation was bad for him it must have been even worse on her. He felt bad, he needed to get her out of this before they began directing the insults at her. He could take it, his skin was thick, but she was fragile and he had to protect her.

"I think we had better go," he said squeezing Willow's hand back.

"No, stay, have a drink." Bella said holding out the bottle towards him.

"Come, have a drink with us, Barty." Yaxley said lightly taking the bottle from Bella and having a drink.

"I don't know, we should probably go, we have, things to do…" He said motioning away.

"Don't be a bitch, Barty." Bella said snottily pulling the bottle away from Yaxley. He looked to Willow who smiled at him slightly, trying to be encouraging.

"It's okay, we can stay. I don't mind." She spoke quietly, just to him.

"Really?" He spoke even quieter as Bella cackled in the distance over some stupid joke Rookwood told.

"Really…" She said sweetly with that smile he couldn't resist and made his stomach do flip-flops.

So he turned back to Bella who had turned to look at him at the same time. "I guess we can stay for a couple of drinks." He said, the boys whooped and Bella gave him an ashamed look, which he ignored.

They silently joined the circle and Bella passed him the bottle. He took a small drink and tried not to wince as the liquor hit the back of his throat and burned. He immediately passed the bottle off to Rookwood but Bella broke in loudly. "Why Bartemius Crouch, how rude are you not to offer your date a drink! So, Willow is it? Want any?" She asked with a devious smile.

"I don't think she wants any." He answered quickly.

"Let her answer, Barty! Merlin, is he rude or what?" She said addressing Willow. "So?" She asked again.

"No, thank you. I'm not a drinker." Willow answered meekly.

"Oh come on. It'll put hair on your chest."

"I don't think I want hair on my chest, but, you can let me know how that look works out for you…" Yaxley and Rookwood burst into laughter immediately and Barty chuckled, wrapping his arm around her and holding her closer. Oh yeah, he liked this girl, he thought as he began to laugh too.

"Why you little…" Bella started but Barty took a step forward and stopped her.

"Bella, I'm warning you, and it will be the last time." He said sternly.

Bella stood there for a moment with her mouth hanging open, internally fighting between her instincts and his will. Eventually she shut her mouth but clenched her fist hard and shrieked with her mouth closed. She then punched Yaxley and tore the bottle from his hands and drank. Willow refound his hand and gripped it tightly and he squeezed her shoulder. The worst of it was over, hopefully.

So they stood and talked, or he talked to the boys while Bella stood silent and shot death glares at Willow while refusing to let anyone else have a drink. She was kind of pissing Rookwood off but Barty didn't care. He didn't need another drink. The only worry he did have was Bella was beginning to become a bit tipsy. Even though she was silent and still he could see the glaze starting to coat her eyes. He didn't like it but Willow was still motionless under his arm, so he felt okay.

"You know what we should do!" Bella said loudly interrupting there conversation.

"What?" He asked timidly.

"We should go see that new house they just built up on the hill."

"I've heard rumors about that place. Scary rumors." He said worrying about Willow. He had promised her a nice day with her friends, and he knew they could still have a nice day alone but nice was not a word that went with his friends. He wasn't quite sure if there idea of fun matched hers and he didn't want her to feel left out.

"Exactly why we should go up there!"

"I don't know, something lives up there. I've heard people hear screams and howls coming from there."

"Yeah, it sounds cool, let's go."

"I don't know."

"Come on Barty, don't be a pansy."

"Fine…" He said turning to Willow as the others began heading off. "You don't mind do you? I mean, we could always go do something else if you want."

"No, it sounds interesting." She said with a smile and he felt more at ease. Maybe she was right for him after all if she could put up with his friends, and actually wanted to go see the haunted house. That was just awesome!

He squeezed her hand with happiness as they followed Bella who was tilting as she walked, obviously intoxicated. He knew she could hold her liquor, but she was displeased with him so that made her wild. She threw the empty whisky bottle at a tree and cackled as it shattered. Willow flinched at her action and he wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. He knew Bella was trying to make her feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, and he didn't appreciate it.

He was glad the house wasn't too far outside of town because he was already getting tired to Bella. She was being loud on purpose, and kept shooting spells into the trees to try and kill birds but was mostly just making a shower of leaves and small branches. He had already picked a handful of leaves out of Willows hair as Bella gave him nasty looks. He also noticed Bella kept whispering to Yaxley and Rookwood. He wouldn't have cared but every time she did they both would look back at him and Willow and smile a very unfriendly smiles. He didn't trust them but hopefully the day would be over soon and they would all go their separate ways.

Then the trees broke and they saw the house, sitting all by itself up on a hill and they all fell silent in awe. The house looked rickety and old even though it was brand new, and there was a fence surrounding the house on all sides that contained signs warning people to "Keep Out" and "Danger."

"I wonder what they're keeping up in there." He asked the air going closer, Willow in toe.

"That is awesome. That wasn't there last year. We used to sit up on that hill." Bella commented as he went up to the fence to get a closer look of the house. They all stared up at the hill in awe for a while before Bella eventually grew bored and began taunting the other boys, trying to convince them to throw something over the fence. They were all chicken so they argued amongst themselves while he and Willow stood together at the fence just content on looking.

He eventually let go of Willow's hand so he could lean against the wooden boards. "Scary isn't it?" Willow whispered to him.

"Yeah…" He smiled back at her. The two of them kept standing closer and closer as the day went on, and holding their head close when they spoke. He really liked her. Maybe they would excuse themselves from his friends soon. He really just wanted to be alone with her. For now though, they contented themselves with speaking softly to one another and giggling.

His friends ruined the mood though like they always did when Bella convinced Rookwood to toss a stone over the fence. The stone only went a foot or so over but a bird happened to take flight from a nearby tree, startling them and Bella screamed. He and Willow didn't get frightened though and just looked at one another and sighed. God he loved her.

The two of them stood there together for a while as the others talked amongst themselves. Eventually Willow became bored and comfortable enough to move away from him and he turned curiously and watched her step away from him before he turned back to scrutinizing the building. He wondered what was in there. He loved a mystery. He would defiantly be discussing this with Willow over the next few weeks.

"What are you doing? Get off ME!" He heard Willow scream and he whipped around to find Yaxley and Rookwood standing very close to her, trying to touch her but she was pushing them off.

"Come on doll face," Yaxley said evilly.

"Give us a look up that pretty dress of yours." Rookwood added, taking a hold of one of her flailing appendages roughly.

His heart rate couldn't have sky rocketed any faster, and he immediately jumped into action. There was zero time to think, his instinct were kicking in and adrenaline was mainlining to his heart.

"What the fuck are you doing!" He screamed running at them. As soon as they saw him they started moving away but he was faster and grabbed Rookwood and pulled him back hard. Rookwood pushed back against him and they scrapped for a second or two before he pulled his arm back and punched him in the nose as hard as he could, breaking it immediately. Rookwood fell away screaming and holding his face and Willow shrieked too in fear.

When he heard her he immediately went to the one his heart ached for. She was shaken hard and he took her up in his arms and held her hard looking over her shoulder at the others. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" He screamed again at them as Willow sobbed. He didn't know exactly what had happened when his back was turned but he could only assume the worst.

"What the fuck is your problem Barty, we were just trying to have fun!" Yaxley yelled.

"You bastard, you broke my nose!" Rookwood yelled.

"I'm going to do more than that, you sick fucks!" He screamed letting go of Willow and positioning himself in front of her, drawing his wand.

"Barty…" Willow cried, grabbing at his wand hand, but he pushed her back.

Yaxley quickly drew his wand but he was too slow and Barty quickly disarmed him then shot another quick spell that knocked him on his ass.

"Barty stop…" Willow cried clinging to his shoulder with fear.

Rookwood had righted himself by now and found his wand, and despite the blood flowing freely from his nose began firing spells at Barty. Willow shrieked and gripped Barty's shoulder while Bella cackled as Barty defended and the two dulled for a minute or so, sending vicious spells at one another and every one was blocked.

Barty was the first to achieve a hit and Rookwood stumbled back as if someone had punched him in the arm. He tired to counter but Barty blocked and then sent him a disarming spell that hit and then another spell that had the reaction as if someone had punched him in the stomach and he doubled over in pain.

Now Barty turned to Bella, not to hurt her, because even though he was so angry he could hardly see, he didn't know if he could ever hurt a girl. He turned to disarm her because if he was correct, and he was, she was drawing her wand on him now. He disarmed her in a moment and she stood there dumbfounded looking at him frightened. The two gazed into one another's eyes for a moment before he took a hold of Willow and without a word began to march off with her.

They moved quickly and he guided her back towards the town. Once the buildings were in sight he stopped and immediately pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. She was silent now and somehow that worried him worse than if she was balling. "It's okay," he began mumbling in here ear, feeling obligated to say something. "I've got you, everything's okay."

She pushed against him trying to get out of his grasp. At first he held on tighter not wanting to let her go, suddenly realizing he was the one who needed comforting. He let her go though when she continued to push against his chest. He didn't want to force her into anything she didn't want at the moment, even when he was shattered on the inside and just needed to hold her to feel okay. When they separated she quickly wiped at her eyes and flattened her hair, looking at the ground to avoid eye contact while she righted herself.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"Yes." She said quickly, still not looking at him.

"They didn't actually tou…"

"No…" She answered before he had time to finish.

"You know I'm really s…"

"I want to go back to the castle."

"Willow, I really didn't mean for…"

"Now." She said angrily and sternly, looking at him for the first time and he had to try really hard to not cry.

"Okay…" He said swallowing hard to try and keep his sorrow inside.

They walked the whole long walk back up to the castle in utter silence. Each step killed him on the inside knowing he had hurt her. He hated this, the fact she still refused to look at him. She watched her feet as they trekked back, holding her arms around herself as if she was cold on this warm day. By the time they made it to the Entrance Hall he couldn't take it anymore.

"Goodbye," Willow tried to say as she hurried towards the staircase but he caught her arm and made her stop.

"Willow, please," was all he found he could say at the moment but she stopped and slowly turned towards him, still avoiding his eye. "I'm really, really sorry about today. I know I fucked everything up, and I don't know what to say."

"It's okay, not your fault…" She said still looking at the flagstone floor.

"Please look at me." He begged. She eventually brought her blue eyes up to meet his and suddenly he much preferred her looking at the floor. He saw all the pain in her eyes, saw the innocent little girl she was and how much his life had hurt her and he could hardly bear it. "I'm sorry…" He croaked out again and she nodded before she turned and headed up the Grand Staircase in silence. His bottom lip trembled as he fought back his tears and marched down the staircase and into the basement.


	14. Hogsmeade Part 3

"Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! BITCH!" Barty yelled in the common room at Bella. He was so angry he couldn't think of anything else to say.

After he had parted with Willow he sat alone in his room for a while, staving off tears that seemed to fall without his permission. Once he had control of himself he pulled on his jumper and left again. He had to walk nearly back to Hogsmeade before he found Yaxley on his way back to the castle. When Yaxley saw him he tried to turn and run but Barty was faster and caught up to him and pinned him, making him stay. A brief scuffle ensued before Yaxley clamed down realizing he just wanted to talk.

He was in no mood to hear bullshit, he wanted answers. He wanted to know why they had attacked Willow. After a few shakes and holding him off the ground by the collar of his shirt Yaxley spilled the beans. Bella, it was Bella's idea. Bella had told them to corner Willow at their first opportunity.

As soon as he found out Bella had went back to the common room already, he dropped Yaxley and stormed away without a word. Rage filled him up inside and coursed through his veins. He no longer felt like crying, he felt like screaming, screaming at Bella… That fucking bitch, and that's exactly what he said to her face ten minutes later when he found her, huddled by the Slytherin fireplace.

"You fucking cunting bitch! You nasty heartless…"

"Barty, what the fuck…" She said standing. He balled his fists in rage and continued.

"You fucking asshole!"

"Barty…" she said rolling her eyes.

"How could you do that to Willow? How could you do that to me?" He asked, hurt creeping into his voice. He was glad it was still early and the common room fairly deserted.

Bella's face fell, she hadn't expected him to find out she was behind it all. "Barty, you have to get over her. It's for the best. She's not one of us."

"Fuck you."

"Get mad at me all you want Barty, I was only doing you a favor."

"How! How is that doing me a favor?"

"Unless I'm wrong you were about to go steady with her. It would never work, Barty. She's not one of us. It would never work. I'm only saving you from a worst heartbreak. Trust me. It's better to let her go now."

"You absolute jerkoff. That's not for you to fucking decide! I will date whoever I damn well please and you will keep the fuck out of my personal affairs."

"Barty, were best friends, your business is my business."

"Not anymore we're not."

"Barty, don't be rash, it was a joke."

"It wasn't funny. You're an utter bitch and we aren't friends anymore!"

"Barty, don't say that. That's hurtful."

"I don't give a shit. Don't speak to me anymore, and keep the fuck away from me, and Willow."

"You're really choosing her over me."

"YES! I'm beyond sick and tired of your stupid shit and the way you treat me. If you respected me even a little you would not have had our friends harass Willow."

"You used to think stuff like that was funny."

"I've changed my mind. It's not funny, at all. It's horrible."

"You've been spending too much time with your little fruit cake, forgot how to have a good time."

"No, I think I made the wrong friends five years ago."

"You're a little bitch, Barty."

"Yeah? So are you."

"You've always been a little winey, prudish, uptight prat. Everything's beneath you, isn't it?"

"No, just you." He said beginning to march away.

"You know she'll never love you." She called after him and he stopped although he didn't look at her. "You're not a Ravenclaw, you were put in Slytherin for a reason. You're wicked just like the rest of us, and she can see it. Try and hide it all you want, she knows. It was written all over her face when you were dueling. You weren't the hero, Barty, you were just another threat."

He began marching away, not wanting to hear anymore. "You scared her didn't you! It's not us she's afraid of most, it's YOU!" She screamed but he was already around the corner.

He stormed up the staircase and to his dorm room. Luckily the room was still empty, he wanted to be alone. He got into bed and closed the bed hangings completely shutting himself off from everything. He tossed himself down on the bed and cuddled into his pillow and immediately broke down crying. He buried his face into the fluffy pillow and wept hard as he thought about the day.

He hated Bella so much. How could she do that to him? Did he really deserve this? All he wanted was to be Willows boyfriend, but that was all shot to hell now. He had been considering asking her to go steady with him, but after seeing that look on her face he could never now. She deserved way better than he could ever give her. She deserved a nice guy who didn't have such evil friends and a small wicked heart of his own. Who was he kidding? He was just like them, evil to the core, and a girl like that could never love him back. He didn't deserve her love. He was a nasty, nasty animal. An animal.

He gripped his pillow and filled it with tears as he cried and moaned into it as he thought of all the things he could never have, things he didn't deserve to have or hold. Even if she wanted him back, all he could do was hurt her. That's all he was good at was hurting and disappointing others. All he could see in his mind was her face, not happy and pretty, but distorted with fear and sadness. He had frightened her when he had dueled with his friends. It was all for her, to protect her, but he knew it was too much for her. His anger and his skill had scared her. He couldn't blame her. He couldn't take it back, and he wouldn't have done it any differently, he had to stand up for her. If only they had just left her alone, everything would be fine right now. Why. Why? Why! Why couldn't anything go right for him? Why, why? Never ever…

What was happening to him? He didn't feel like this yesterday, but now he felt like his life was incomplete without her. All he wanted was her. He wanted to be in her arms. He wanted her to hold him and hear her say she loved him and that she would never let go. His heart felt so cold, he felt so lonely without her. He just wanted to see her smile at him, but his mind was still filled with that hollow look. She had been hurt beyond what he could repair. How could he possibly set that right? The most he could do was take himself out of her life, she would be better off after all.

No… He couldn't do that. He needed her too much. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to mend her and heel the divide that had ripped there hearts apart. He could do nothing he realized so he cried and cried and when he was out of tears he just laid there until cruel sleep embraced him and he dreamed of her and the way things were meant to be.


	15. Whispered words are never heard

**Author's Note: I just want to thank the lovely people who have left me reviews. You are all so lovely, and your reviews really do encourage me to write, and feedback always helps. I always want to know what you think of my work. :) As always, I hope you enjoy...**

It had been three days since Willow's run in with Barty and she hadn't seen him since. It was now Tuesday and she was unsure if she should be looking forward to their Potions class that afternoon or not. She kept flicking back and forth with her emotions about the situation and Faith had heard every ugly detail. Every up and every down…

**Saturday**

"I mean it was so horrible, and he did protect me, which was nice I guess but he just got so violent and frightening. It was so scary, all the spells flying. I didn't know what to do so I cowered behind him and I was so afraid that any moment he was going to loose. I've just never seen him so violent before, it terrified me. I didn't think he was like that. I thought he wasn't like them, but now I just don't know. I was even starting to lo… I just liked him so much. I don't know, what should I do Faith?"

"He's a bastard. Cut all ties."

**Sunday**

"In a way I know he did it all for me. He wouldn't have acted that way unless he felt like he had to protect me you know."

"No."

"It's just his stupid friends, especially Bella. She ruins everything! I don't know why he's friends with her. Really why? I don't want to know to be honest, I just wish he wasn't. It's all their fault honestly, his jerky friends. I mean, should I even blame him at all?"

"Yes."

"It just seems wrong to be angry at him for it but they are his friends. If they are like that, is he like that deep down?"

"Yes."

"It just all seems to backwards. He's really sweet, really he is. He just got so angry though, I don't know which is the real him anymore."

"Maybe you shouldn't see him anymore."

**Monday**

"I just don't know what to do Faith. I haven't seen him for days, and I don't know, I kind of miss him. I just don't know if I can forgive him. I want to forgive him…"

"You shouldn't."

"…but I just don't know if I should. You know?"

"Are you listening to me at all?"

**Tuesday Morning**

"I don't know, Faith. Maybe I should forgive him. I mean, he's not his friends, he can't control them, and he did beat them up for me… You should have seen him, Faith. He had his arm around me pushing me behind him, protecting me. Yeah it was a bit frightening him dueling, knowing that with every spell he might get hurt, but he didn't. Oh, he just seemed so powerful… him protecting me like that. Oh, it was just so, sexy…"

"What…The…Fuck…" Faith said and Willow was broken from her trance.

"What?"

"What are you doing?" She said outraged.

"Eating breakfast." She said curiously.

"No, I mean, thinking about Barty in that way. You know he's a bad guy."

"He's not such a bad guy…"

"Then what the hell was all this talk about these past few days?"

"I was just trying to work through it all. It was all very emotional for me, and it all happened so fast. It's a lot to deal with, but I've thought about it all fully, and I think Barty was just looking out for me. It's not his fault it happened…"

"…it is."

"It isn't. And he shouldn't be punished for looking out for me." Faith gave her a look, so she countered angrily. "Should he have just let them rape me, Faith, is that what you would like for him to have done?"

"Damn it Willow, you know that's not my point!"

"What is your point? What should he have done?"

"I don't know, and that's not the point! The point is his friends are nasty, and his friends will always be there. If you're around him you'll always be in danger, Willow, listen to me. What if he isn't there next time?"

"He wouldn't leave me alone with them."

"What if he trusts them? Leaves you alone for just a minute. What then? What if he doesn't make it back in time?"

"Faith stop it." She said beginning to feel the tears sting her eyes.

"He won't always be there to save you, and what if next time it isn't them, its him and you're alone with him. Whose to stop him? You said he was powerful."

"Faith stop it!" She said angrier.

"What if he's the one who attacks you?"

"STOP IT!" She shouted causing many around the Great Hall to pause and look her way.

"I'm just saying, he's not the nice guy you think he is. He's one of them. You don't know him." Willow got up and began running from the hall. "Willow!" Faith yelled struggling to get up and follow her.

She ran quickly and it was hard to see though her tears. She was looking at the ground anyways because she didn't want anyone to see her crying. She should have thought to look where she was going, but she didn't and only five feet into the entrance hall she ran straight into someone. She was about to say sorry and hurry off to her dorm for the rest of breakfast to cry and be alone but when she looked up her plans changed.

"Barty." She gasped.

"Willow…" He breathed and as he took her tear stained face in, his expression changed from one of surprise to that of worry.

She didn't have time to care though, and even though she had much to say to him, and had been going over and over what to do when she finally saw him again in her mind she couldn't help her instincts. She was upset, so she simply threw herself into his arms and began to weep heavily.

His arms immediately closed around her, pulling her into himself, but he still whispered to her worried. "Willow, what's wrong?"

She replied with a heavy gasping sob and more tears into his jumper. He held her tight in response. That's when a set of heavy footfalls entered the Entrance Hall and Faith called out her name. She didn't want to look but she felt like she had to. She pulled herself from Barty tight embrace but only just enough so she could turn and look at Faith. Barty still had his arms around her in a half embrace and she clung to his chest still, not wanting to let him go.

When Faith saw them embracing, she hurried by them quickly but not without muttering, "bitch," under her breath loud enough for them both to hear.

She felt Barty begin to move away from her, his mussels flexing as his anger rose. She let out a fresh wail and a new wall of tears hit her eyes and fastened herself to him quickly. Partially because she wanted his comfort, partially because she wanted to stop him from starting a fight. She didn't need him proving to Faith right now he was all bad. At first his arms hung around her lightly as he internally fought between his desire to comfort her and his instincts to protect her. He quickly chose to comfort her though as she was hanging off him and Faith had stormed off. When his decision was made his arms tightened around her waist, holding her to him hard, almost as if he wanted to assimilate her heartache and feel her pain so she didn't have to.

"Sweety, what happened?" He cooed in her ear. She sobbed her reply which no human could translate. "Shhhh…" He said rocking her slightly. "Do you want to go somewhere with a few less eyes and talk about it?" He whispered to her.

She mumbled a soft 'ugh-huh' noise, almost like a purr, and he took her up under his arm and led her off while she left her head buried in his shoulder. She didn't want the world to see her like this. That and she couldn't stop crying.

Barty marched her off quite a ways but she didn't look to see where they were going. She didn't care what Faith thought. She trusted him. She heard a door creek loudly and when she opened her eyes they were in an abandoned classroom. Barty stepped away from her to grab the doorknob and pulled the heavy door closed, locking them off from the rest of the world. She wasn't afraid through, it was just him, her Barty. She knew it looking at him now that he was the man she needed him to be and his brash anger and violence was his front.

While he was looking away she wiped her eyes and cheeks on the sleeve of her robe, trying to look more presentable. When he turned around and saw her he smiled widely and her made her blush a little. He stalked towards her and she got chills up her spine. She didn't know why she desired him so badly. When he was finally before her he picked her up off the floor in a large embrace. He held her tightly to him as she giggled with surprise.

"I've missed you so much," he breathed into her hair, almost nuzzling her neck.

"I've missed you too." She cooed, no longer crying.

He held her tight for a long period of time before he eventually set her down and pulled away, looking into her face and stroking her cheek lovingly. "So, you going to tell me why you ran into my arms crying?" She took a hold of his hand upon her cheek and held it. He let her.

"It's just… everything that happened."

"Oh…" He said letting her hand fall.

"No… no…"

"No, I'm really sorry, I knew I shouldn't hav…"

"No, it was Faith, this morning."

"What happened?"

"She…" she began but she suddenly really didn't want to tell him the truth.

"What?"

"It's nothing…"

"Lies, lies from beautiful eyes. Tell me. I want to know." His eyes bore into her and she couldn't help herself, she had to tell him.

"Faith thinks your nothing but bad for me. We had a fight over it. She said some really horrible things about you, and I just don't want to believe it."

Barty's face was hard now and not kind like before. She knew he was upset, and thinking. "What horrible things?" He said coldly.

"She said that one day you might do what your friends were trying to do to me. She said one day you'll try and hurt me or that you'll let them hurt me." She said no longer really being able to keep the pain out of her voice.

"I would never, ever, hurt you." He said sounding upset. "Come here." He said opening his arms and she eagerly stepped into his warm embrace. "I don't want you to ever think of me that way. I would never lay a finger on you in that way, I promise. I care about you so much, your friendship means the world to me." Amongst the sea of comfort he was giving her, that one word stung like a hot knife in the gut. Friends was not the word she wanted to hear. She couldn't pretend to herself anymore, and even after everything that happened, she still wanted to be more than that. "Do you hear me?" He asked after the few moments she was quiet and motionless in his arms.

"Yeah…" She said trying not to sound hurt, but even if she did he would probably pass it off for other reasons why. "So…" she said pushing her way out of his arms. He felt reluctant to let her go but he did. "Where are we?"

"Empty classroom on first." He said as she went to the window to look out at the lawn. Barty followed.

"Oh," was all she said in reply as she watched some kids walking across the law towards the greenhouses for Herbology. That's where she should be heading too but she didn't want to leave Barty just yet, who had positioned himself at her elbow and followed her gaze.

"Are you upset with me? I mean you have every right to be, I just want to know."

"No…" She said flatly.

"Are you sure? You sound sad." She didn't answer him. "Look at me." He begged gently pushing the hair off her shoulder so he could see her face more clearly. "I want you to know my friends wouldn't really have hurt you. They were just mucking about. Making fun of you, and what not. They wouldn't have actually hurt you. I guess I just over reacted a bit. I probably scared you, I'm sorry." She still didn't answer him so he continued. "I went back to Hogsmeade after you left. I found Yaxley and made him tell me what happened. He said it was Bella's idea." She stiffened at this. Even though she was just finding out somehow she knew it all along.

"Well, that's typical of your best friend," she said moving away from him and turning her back on him as she hid her face trying not to cry.

"She's not my friend anymore. I yelled at her a lot over it. I told her I'm done being her friend. I can't do it anymore."

"What?" She said piping up but still not turning to look at him.

"You've been such a good friend to me I couldn't let her get away with hurting you like that. If it's between you and her I choose you." He said reaching out and touching her shoulder. She turned with his touch and looked at him.

"Did you really?" She asked looking into his chocolate eyes.

"Yes. I won't let anyone hurt you and get away with it. And I have warned her about leaving you alone. She wanted to be a bitch, so I told her we're threw as friends."

"You didn't have to do that for me. She's your best friend."

"You're my best friend." She felt so warm inside she knew it was showing on her cheeks.

"But I don't want you to loose friends because of me."

"She can't walk all over me like that and get away with it. It's over, I'm done with her."

"Really?"

"Yes. Willow, I… I…" He said stammering against his words and then a large yell interrupted them from outside and brought her back to reality.

"Shoot. I have to go, I'm going to be late for class." She said wiping her face quickly again and flattening her hair, realizing it was late and she needed to hurry.

"Willow, I kind of want to tell you something."

"Can't it wait until Potions, Barty, I'm really running late and I need to get to the greenhouses."

"I kind of want to get it out now, Willow please…"

"Barty, I can't be late. I'll see you in Potions, yeah?" She said hugging him quickly and then bounding off, leaving him calling her name as she used all her might to wretch open the heavy door and run down the corridor.

She didn't hear him whisper to the empty classroom, "I love you, Willow. I love you."


	16. Tarnished love

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I had so much writers block, but I'm hoping it came out good in the end. Enjoy.**

It was now Saturday and Willow was feeling worse than ever. Her and Faith hadn't spoken all week because of their fight on Tuesday about Barty. She hated that they were fighting. They usually never fought, so now that they were she didn't know how to mend it. She knew Faith was a stubborn individual, and so she knew Faith would never come to her with an apology. She would either have to apologize to Faith or they would have to somehow find common ground some other way and move on. She didn't know how either would ever be possible. She wasn't going to apologize for her friendship with Barty nor give him up. She also didn't know how they could just come back together without having to talk threw their problems that would inevitably lead to an even bigger fight. The whole thing just made her really sad. She missed her friend.

Barty was the worst part of it all. She had hoped he would ask her out soon but now he was more distant than he ever was. She had thought he liked her from how forward he had been recently. Even Tuesday morning when they spoke he seemed like his normal self, but then when she got to Potions that afternoon he already seemed distanced and she had no idea why. He was no longer his happy cheerful self when she was around and instead seemed in this constantly gloomy state. She wondered if it had to do with something she had done or if it was still his friends that were upsetting him. He wouldn't talk about it when she asked so she had no idea. She just hoped it was his friends. He had been distant from them all week, taking his meals with her instead of his usual group of friends and spending nearly all his free time with her. She wished she had more time with her other friends, and more time to contemplate fixing things with Faith but he just seemed so sullen all the time she couldn't push him away. Besides he had fought with his friends over her. She couldn't be ungrateful.

It all would have been fine if he wasn't so distant. He wasn't just sullen but he rarely hugged and never held her hand anymore. Sometimes he still looked at her with those longing eyes but when she caught him he looked away. She wondered what she did to put such a great distance between them.

She sat with Barty at the Slytherin table as he ate his morning porridge gloomily. She picked at her toast and eggs and looked on him sadly. She wished he would tell her what he was thinking about like he used to so freely. She wanted them to move past this and onto lovers but more than all that she simply wanted her old Barty back.

A loud cackle from her arch enemy came from a ways down the table and Barty raised his head and looked there way before turning back looking even more unhappy. She herself looked towards her friends at the Ravenclaw table wondering what they were discussing. She missed them a lot but she just couldn't leave Barty to sit here and pout on his own. She owed him big time, she just wished he would talk to at least some of his friends at meals and breaks so she could get away from him. She loved him lots but his constant bad mood was really starting to piss her off.

"We're still going to the Quidditch match today, right?" She asked him, trying to cheer him up for she knew he loved Quidditch a lot.

"Yeah…" He said looking at her briefly before continuing to eat.

"Barty…" She began worriedly and he looked at her expectantly. "Who do you think will win the match?" She said backing out of confronting him, even though she was beginning to think she was going to have to eventually.

"Griffindor probably, the bastards." He muttered.

"I'm rooting for Hufflepuff."

"Me too." He muttered. She looked on him sadly.

They didn't talk the rest of breakfast but he did help her on with her jacket before they went out on the grounds. Once outside the brisk fall air soon made her slip on her fingerless gloves. She hated the weathers mood swings. Last weekend she could go without a jacket, and one week later she had to wear a jacket and gloves. What the hell? Barty looked dapper in his black wool coat though. Fall suited his wardrobe, she had always thought from a far but it was better when she was able to cuddle against the ruff fabric to protect against the cold wind.

They were by far not the first to make it to the stadium. There were already lines to the stairs and they quickly added themselves to the line heading up to the Slytherin box. That's when she noticed Faith glaring at her from the line up to the Ravenclaw box.

"I wish Faith would stop giving me dirty looks, I'm so sick of it." She bitched.

"I wish you and Faith would make up." Barty said casually. She felt like the comment was a slap in the face.

"What!" she said angrily as she followed him under the draperies on the bleachers and they began their long trek up the wooden stairs.

"You two were such good friends before. I never want you to have a fight with your friends because of me."

"Well WHAT about YOU!" She couldn't help screaming. She was at her breaking point, ready for a fight she wasn't quite sure she wanted to have but seemed to be yelling anyways.

"What about me?" He said, his voice getting deep and defensive.

"As far as I've seen you haven't spoken to any of your friends all week."

"Ah…" He choked out.

"None of them! Why!" She didn't really mind yelling, everyone was yelling in this crowd. Its what you had to do if you wanted to be heard.

"I wanted to be with you."

"Ha!"

"What?"

"You've been so surly all week and have barely spoken to me. What's wrong?" She asked suddenly lowering her voice, only concerned.

"Nothing…" He said exasperated looking away from her.

"You're lying to me."

"I am not…"

"Barty, please. I don't like it when you keep things from me. We used to be so close."

"We are close."

"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Can't I ever keep something to myself? Do I have to share everything with you?" He yelled, getting angry.

"No…" She said beginning to feel hurt. "You used to share everything with me, I just thought…"

"Well it's private okay!"

"I'm sorry…" She said looking away ashamed, wanting to cry.

They were nearly to the top but she wanted to leave, run away, but the wall of people behind them pushed them both onwards. It wasn't until they broke the top of the stadium that Barty looked at her and emotion flooded his face for the first time all week. "Sweety…" He said using a term of endearment on her he had avoided all week. She scowled at him. "You're crying…" he said, his face falling again, looking sadly on her.

Shit, she thought, she hadn't meant to cry, like this, in public. She couldn't go back down the stairs so she pushed and shoved her way threw everyone and hurried to the top of the bleachers where it was less crowded and she could be more alone, only Barty followed her. "Sweety…" He said sitting down next to her closely and she hid her face in her gloved hands. He was finally being the sweetheart she was in love with, but this was the first time all week she didn't desire it. She wanted to be angry with him, to shove him away, but couldn't.

"Don't cry, darling please. I'm sorry I've been moody. I haven't been myself." She sobbed in reply. "Please don't be cross with me, you're all I have."

"Barty, don't…" She wept threw her fingers.

"Don't what?" He asked pushing her hair away out of her face and she suddenly found herself saying things to him that she hadn't even wanted to think about all week but it's what was driving her mad.

"Don't ditch all your friends for me, I'm not worth it, and you're so unhappy, I can't take care of you all by myself, Barty. I can't and I won't." He looked at her hard for a moment before he turned away from her and faced the stadium, crossing his arms in anger. "Barty…" She said weeping still but pulling on his coat sleeve. "Barty please…" She said cupping his face in her hands and trying to pull him towards her, but he wouldn't look at her. He just sat there in silence and seethed.

She didn't know what else she could say to him, so she just sat there with her arms wrapped around him and her head on his shoulder, determined to hold onto him even if he was angry. They sat there for ages like this; him as stiff as a statue and her arms draped over him, face nuzzled in his jacket.

Eventually the game started and Barty sat unmoving. She didn't know if he was watching the game or not for no flicker of emotion brushed his features. She knew she wasn't. She was too concerned about him. The game was good apparently for the crowed screamed and clapped around them, paying no notice to the two of them, sitting idle. Eventually something happened in the arena causing the audience to jump to their feet and scream and cheer their team on. What she was surprised to find though was Barty took to his feet as well.

Her arms fell away from him because she was so surprised by his movement and that's when she realized he was not jumping with cheer, or to root for a team, or to even see the game, but he immediately began walking and hurried down the stadium stairs, walking towards the exit.

It took her by surprise but she soon took to her feet and hurried after him. He had gotten a decent head start so she didn't catch him until they were both in the stairwell. "Barty!" She screamed after him. The stairwell echoed the game in an eerie way, but it was at least slightly quieter here than up amongst the rest of the crowd.

Barty didn't stop hurriedly walking down the stairs so she tried to run after him, calling out his name in anguish, and she was starting to gain on him til her foot slipped on the stair and she fell.

Her foot only slipped down two of the stairs before she caught herself on the rail, but almost instantly Barty was at her side to catch her. "Are you alright?" He asked her, no longer angry.

"I think so." She said setting herself down as he squatted beside her.

"You didn't sprain it did you, I can take you to the nurse if you'd…"

"No, no… I'm fine."

"Really…"

"Yes. Barty, what's wrong?" His face became heavy again.

"I'm just not really in the mood to watch Quidditch is all…"

"Liar."

"Yeah… Don't follow me alright."

"Barty…"

"Please. I want to be alone for a while. I'll see you tonight at dinner, okay?"

"Okay."

"Take care of yourself, no more running on stairs." Then he leaned in and kissed her on her temple before heading back down the stairs to whereabouts unknown.

She sat there for a few minutes not really knowing what to do. Her heart was being pulled in a million directions and she didn't know which one to follow. Then an idea came to her and she knew, while it may not exactly be what she wanted most, it was what she truly needed.

She got up and went back up the stairs slowly, following Barty's instructions. She didn't go back to her seat but instead followed the inner ring almost exactly one forth of the way around. Maybe people yelled at her for standing and blocking their view of the game but she ignored them all until she got where she was going. Then she walked up two rows and sat quietly beside the girl with a massive golden skirt and green oversized sweater. The girl looked at her for a long time with her large calculating eyes before she gave up trying to decide why Willow had chosen to sit next to her in the middle of the big game and instead turned her attention back to the players. That's where her attention was too, not wanting to give her company any attention.

65 points later eventually she spoke to the girl, muttering hi, not taking her eyes off the game.

The girl didn't look at her but mumbled a confused hello.

"What's the score?" She asked even though it was an obtuse question, everyone could see the score and the announcer yelled it after every goal.

"45, 45." The girl said still not looking at her.

"Who's winning?" She asked and finally the girl looked at her and she looked at the girl. They looked at one another for a moment before a smile finally cracked Faith's countenance, and Willow knew everything was going to be okay.


	17. The Wrong Decision

Barty sat on a log with his back to the stadium. He could hear the distant cheers of the game and each one made him feel worse and worse. He plunged his hand into his messenger bag and pulled out the flask he always carried with him, just in case. Well, today was a just in case day. He felt so bad and he didn't know what to do, so why not get incredibly drunk?

He thought he was doing the right thing, trying to be there for Willow and show her he cared about her more than his friends, but that obviously failed. She didn't want any of that, she wanted him to back off. Couldn't she see how much he loved her? He supposed he shouldn't have fooled himself into thinking she could have feelings for him like he had for her. He was just a friend to her. A friend who was overstepping the line between them. He had to back off. She had pretty much demanded it, but what was he going to do instead?

An answer presented itself almost immediately. He heard the sound of someone approaching him from behind and he quickly shoved his flask back into his bag. He assumed it was Willow, following him even though he told her not to. He felt exasperated. He needed time to figure it all out. He didn't have any answers for her, and her being around wouldn't help him make the right ones.

He put his face in his hands and said to the air, "Willow, I told you not to follow me."

"Well I'm not your little cheesecake," said an oh so familiar voice.

He turned and saw Bella approaching him. She smiled kindly at him but he scowled and turned back around. "This seat taken?" She inquired about the space next to him on the log. He didn't answer so she just sat down beside him silently. "Where's the booze?" She asked and he still didn't reply so she pulled his bag away from him and dug into it until she pulled out his flask. She unscrewed the top and took a deep swig. He didn't care, not really.

They sat in silence for quite a long time. He kept stealing glances at her, but then turning away still finding he had nothing to say to her, but couldn't muster the swears in order to push her away. "You alright?" She eventually asked in a quite voice.

"No," he answered simply taking the flask from her and drinking. "Why are you here?"

"I saw you and your girl leave in a huff, and then she came back alone. So, eventually, I decided to check on you." He looked at her properly for the first time. Her hair large and messy, blowing in the wind, her lips plump and red. She didn't look hateful, she looked saddened if anything. "That, and Gryffindor is leading by 20. I don't think I could sit threw there victory so I thought I better check on you." She said trying to hide her concern for him with something else, anything else. He thought it was nice of her, but he still didn't trust it. Bella didn't do anything unless it directly benefited her. He wondered what angle she was playing. "You know, make sure you're not lying face down in the lake or anything."

"I'm fine," he said plainly and then decided to add because it was niggling at him, "and she's not my girl."

"Oh really now."

"Shut up." He said and she did. There fight came back to him vividly and it all made him feel so bad. Was Bella just trying to look out for him and tell him the truth? It was starting to look that way as things she had said were starting to come true. He didn't feel anymore like he could attain her love in any way and nothing he seemed to do pleased her. He felt so stupid, he knew she was better than him, deserved better than him.

"You know you acted like a total ass this week." Bella eventually interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah…"

"Not just to me, you know you're pissing everyone off Barty."

"I know."

"Any reason?"

"I really don't know." He answered honestly. He had shirked all his friends except Willow and even managed to upset her as well. He didn't know what was wrong with himself.

"Well, you certainly are the King of cocking things up."

"Yes…" He said taking another drink and wincing just so he had an excuse to close his eyes. His emotions were at the boiling point and he didn't want Bella to see.

"I don't think you're beyond hope." He looked over at her and he knew there were tears lining his eyes but he didn't care. "It's all fixable."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Everyone's mad at you now, but…"

"But what?"

"Here's the sitch, Barty. I could talk to everyone for you, tell them you took a spell to the face so your brain was fuddled and didn't know you were blowing everyone off." That did all sound lovely, if he could just simply go back to all his friends he would feel better if he had at least somewhere to go. It was all lovely but he knew there was a catch.

"And what do you want from me?"

"Nothing…" She said looking away. His eyes narrowed at her. He wasn't stupid and Bella wasn't that sly. He knew the catch was she wanted his friendship back too. That was how it had to be or he was going to be left out in the cold because of his actions. He didn't think he could live as an outcast in his own House, especially with Willow distancing herself from him. It pained him, but he had to do it.

"I'd really like that." He said calmly and she looked at him and her lips slowly curled into something of a smile.

He could already foresee Willow being incredibly pissed at him. That was just a landmine waiting to go off. He felt bad, but he could see things from Bella's point of view. They had been best friends since year one, she was just trying to look out for him, and it was only a joke. He was the one who blew it all out of proportion and scared Willow. That and she was already begging him to get away from her, she had told him not to ditch his friends for her and had even felt bad about him pushing Bella aside. Yeah, that was it. She couldn't be mad at him, it was what she had told him to do, after all.

"I'm sorry I acted like such a twat." He said, showing her that he wanted to forgive her too. He really didn't, but he knew he could over time. He already wasn't half as angry at her as he was at this same time last week. They could move forward from this, he was sure of it.

"Not your fault. A boy in love can't be held responsible for his actions." He didn't comment on this. It was true but he didn't want to reassure or deny anything. "Want a fag?" She asked pulling a silver cigarette case from inside her loose dress somewhere. He nodded and took the hand rolled cigarette she passed him. He wasn't a smoker, not by a long shot. He only smoked occasionally, when he was stressed and someone offered. Today, he was really stressed so he didn't think at all about turning it down. "So what did you and your little chicky poo fight about?" She asked him as he took the lighter from her case.

"I don't know. Apparently I'm smothering her or some shit." He said lighting his fag and taking a short drag. It burned him on the inside. He still wasn't totally used to them, and didn't too much like them either but he really was in no mood to deny them.

"Did you even bother asking her out?" She asked taking the lighter from him and blazing up herself.

"No…"

"Coward."

"I am not a coward."

"Then why didn't you just ask her out, its not like you've cared this week what anyone thinks of you."

"I don't think it would work."

"Agreed."

"I just don't think I could be a good boyfriend. Yeah, I like her, a lot, but, I don't know." He did know, he just didn't like talking about his feelings with Bella. "Besides, she deserves better than me you know." He tacked on quickly.

"Yes." She answered laughing.

"Shut up," he said lightheartedly. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder good naturedly as if she was trying to comfort him. He didn't like this, but didn't feel like shrugging her off.

"I know you like her and all but if she's pushing you away now maybe its best you just let her go to do as she pleases. Besides I don't think you'd make a good boyfriend to anyone. You're so gangly and quite moronic at times."

"Is this supposed to cheer me up?" He asked with a smile and the two laughed slightly.

"I'm trying my best here. I'm not good at this comforting shit."

"Obviously. This is why I have Willow. She's compassionate and understands." She gripped his shoulder hard. It was playful he knew but he felt like she was sinking her claws into him in more than one way.

"Well why don't you go back and let her mollycoddle you and protect you from the world."

"Fuck off." He said taking a deep drag from his fag, feeling like she was beginning to cross some lines again. He just noticed other people on the grounds, heading back up towards the castle. He hadn't noticed the noise from the game had stopped. Game over, he supposed.

"I'm not going to baby you like her, Barty."

'I've never fucking wanted you to.' He merely thought, it was horrifying to think of Bella trying to console him after he bore his soul to her in the way he had Willow. Willow was so understanding and warm. It wasn't babying, it was kindness. Pure and simple, that's what she was. He had been so angry these past few hours, with her, with himself he had begun to forget how much he loved her simplicities.

He missed her immediately. He had been so standoffish with her this whole week, he suddenly hated himself. It wasn't her, it was him, like it always had been. He was the one keeping them apart. He felt so stupid. He suddenly became consumed with thoughts of how he could win back her favor, so much so he completely forgot he was in the middle of a conversation with Bella. She called his name, but he didn't answer. His mind was preoccupied, thinking of Willow. Wanting her again deeply. He needed to apologize, straight away. It was all his fault, his heinous bad mood he had directed at everyone he cared about. He didn't care about Bella, but the rest of his friends and especially Willow. How could he do it to them all? Just because things hadn't exactly gone his way. He felt so stupid he wanted to smack himself. Instead Bella delved out the punishment to him.

She squeezed his shoulder massively hard and his cried out in pain as she succeeded in getting his attention. "Are you listening to me?" She asked angrily.

"No…" He answered honestly and he knew it made her mad. "I need to go." He said flicking his fag into the grass and stamping it out before he pushed his flask back into his bag. He had indulged in his bad habits long enough, he needed to get back up and get moving again.

"Go? Go where?" Bella asked removing her hand from around his shoulder.

"I need to find Willow."

"What?"

"I need to apologize. I mean I appreciate if you'd talk to everyone for me, but I have to speak to Willow, on my own. I wonder if she'll be out soon."

"Sooner than you think." Bella answered angrily.

He didn't know what she meant at first but then he looked over and saw Willow walking towards him, Faith keeping stride right next to her. Well, it looks like they made up in good time, he thought. He was happy for her but he had a feeling this would not bode well for him. Willow caught his eye and he stood up ready to go to her but then Bella made a show of standing up as well, making sure her presence was known.

Willow looked the two of them over quickly, Faith's eyes on them as well, before they both turned their heads away in a huff. The two linked arms and held their heads high as they walked straight past them, making a marvelous show of pretending not to have seen him. He knew he was in trouble and it all broke his heart.

"Shit…"


	18. Two Broken Hearts

"You know what sucks? Everything." Barty said dramatically as he walked back to the common room with Bella.

"Don't be such a twat, Barty." She replied.

"I hate everything."

"And I hate you." She said poetically as they followed some Slytherin's ahead of them into the common room.

"I just want to lay down and die."

"I can let you borrow my good knife."

"Why does nothing ever go my way?"

"Barty if you don't shut up I'm going to shove my foot up your arse."

"Fine! I'm going to bed." He said turning away from her.

"Bed? It's 6:30."

"So…"

"Barty, don't be a little girl."

"Shut up…"

"You're supposed to help me with my Care of Magical Creatures homework!" She yelled at him as he marched off towards the boy's dormitory.

"Fuck off!" He called not turning round. He was in a bad mood and willing to take it out on nearly everyone. He stomped up the deserted stairs to his dormitory which was thankfully empty. This was a very common occurrence in his dorm. Everyone liked to hang out downstairs for as long as they could and only came to their room for supplies or sleep.

He, on the other hand, spent a majority of his time here. Mostly lying in bed thinking or reading for pleasure in between his studies. Today was the pits though. He was so upset with the day he just wanted to lie in bed until he forgot about the world. He threw his bag down which crashed into the bed frame hard. He pulled off his school clothes quickly and got into his pajamas with a struggle. Everything always seemed harder and more frustrating when you're already upset. Then he threw himself down in bed and yanked the bed hangings closed hard.

Willow was still upset with him. That sounded like the understatement of the year. Saturday he didn't see her or her partner in crime at dinner. He had worried himself sick nearly all afternoon, planning what to say to her when they spoke. He worried and worried but thought if he could just see her and speak to her everything would be okay. Then she didn't show up, and he went to bed early without eating anything.

Sunday he sat in the Great Hall all day, knowing she would have to show up to at least one meal to eat. He had gotten to breakfast late because he overslept out of misery and she wasn't at lunch, but not everyone always showed up to the second meal of the day. This worried him, but he waited and waited to see his if his lovely would show up for dinner, and show up she did. She walked through the doors, hair sweeping over her shoulder, and gave him the most hateful death glare ever when their eyes met. He felt like he could have died then and there but his heart beat on even though it was shattered. His intricate plan of how to win her back all went into the fire when those unfathomable blue eyes filled with loathing paralyzed him.

He wanted to leave immediately and cower alone in his room, but he missed her so he rallied and gazed at her from afar all dinner. She looked happy with her friends, laughing and tossing her hair over her shoulder dramatically as she flirted with some guy at her table. He knew she was doing it all for his benefit. The worst pain is to watch someone else be happy when you can't be with them. He didn't mind that she was happy but the flirting burnt him hard… That was what they did, that was his role. He suddenly missed his place beside her that much more.

He waited until she left then he tossed the spoon he had bent in half on the table and dashed to his dorm, and he didn't stop til he dropped on his bed and balled for a good half hour.

Today day wasn't better at all, if anything it was worse. Charms Sucked. History Sucked. He saw Willow in the hall between classes and she turned to Faith and whispered something to her and the two laughed and laughed as they walked straight past him without recognition when he tried to say hi.

The worst came during their break before dinner. It was one of the last nice days before Fall completely choked mother nature and Winter took hold. Everyone was on the lawn having fun and he sat with his friends, enjoying their company but his heart wasn't really in it. His heart was across the lawn running around with her friends playing Fang Frisbee. She looked like she was having a whale of a time, and he was enjoying watching her, content so long as she was happy. That's when the worst happened.

All of a sudden the same Ravenclaw boy she had been flirting with yesterday went over to her and began flirting with her. Barty's blood boiled with rage. He couldn't stand watching the two of them, her giggling and playing with her hair. It made him sick. Eventually he turned away from the scene, unable to watch the girl he adored be with someone else.

He sat surly and tried to listened to Bella bitch and moan about this or that person at their school and how much she hated them. It was a bit hard to listen to really, but he tried his best, anything to keep his mind off things. Unlucky for him it didn't work, he still felt like he had a peach pit of sadness burning within his chest, even when he didn't think about it.

Eventually his mind tuned her and everyone else out and he sat there stewing in his own misery. He was so upset and angry but he had no one to direct it at but himself. No one else had done anything wrong, it was him. It seemed like it was always him. He didn't hear what the others were saying, he didn't even know why they had all gotten up and started migrating across the lawn and towards the lake. It was like he was walking through a fog and it was only last minute that he noticed his friends were being jerks and there path to the lake was going straight through the large Fang Frisbee game. Some of the Ravenclaws yelled nasty things at them and Bella gave them the finger.

He felt so uncomfortable because he knew Willow was nearby but he didn't see her. He looked this way and that for her as he walked, searching for her visage in a sea of faces when someone bumped into him, hitting his right shoulder hard. He stopped and looked over and saw the flirting Ravenclaw boy. Apparently someone had thrown him the Frisbee and he had run into him while trying to catch it. The boy apologized feverishly but Barty only grew angrier.

He didn't know how the fight started or who hit who when but it ended with him picking the kid up and hurling him into the lake. He didn't care, he was in a rage. No one touched his girl and got away with it.

He didn't go unpunished though. The Herbology Professor saw him do it so he got a good ear lashing by his head of house and two weeks worth of detention followed up by a letter home to his parents. What was even worse than all of that was Willow saw what he did.

He didn't notice her at first but when he was getting yelled at by the Herbology Professor on the lawn he just happened to look over and she was there. She gazed at him with her impenetrable blue eyes and looked at him contemptuously. A group had gathered to watch the matter, and Faith, ever by Willows side, watched with the rest, but cupped her hand and put it to Willow's ear and whispered something to her. Whatever was said made his darling frown and she turned to Faith and whispered something back before the two of them disappeared into the crowd.

He kind of floated through the rest of his punishments, not fully taking them in just yet. He was so hurt that anything new was just weightless on top of the pile on his heart.

Dinner was nearly over by the time he was let go by his head of house. He met Bella in the great hall and she told him everyone was really impressed with what he had done. By everyone of course she meant Slytherin house. According to Bella he had won over everyone's favor again and her efforts to get him back in there good graces was not in vain. She, apparently, was proud of him. This was only because she didn't know the real reason he had done it.

He wanted to bitch to her and rant about how much he was upset about Willow, but he knew he could never do that. She would chastise him forever about it. His need to complain though was so large he just bitched about his two week detention endlessly. At first she sympathized and bitched with him but by the time they were walking back to the common room she had had enough of him.

Now he lay in his bed and just stared at the ceiling wondering what Willow thought of him. He really hopped this whole problem wasn't beyond fixing with a few words.

Again he was wrong.

The first Potions class of the week was on Tuesday so he didn't have too long to wait for his answers. He got to class way too early and set up his kit and all the ingredients and waited on Willow. She showed up at her usual time, which made him feel a little bit better. At least she wasn't showing up last minute to avoid speaking to him like she did when she was upset sometimes.

She sat down next to him casually and took out her workbook and kit. She had an aura of calm and collected but she wouldn't look at him so he knew she was wildly upset with him still.

There she was. Less than a foot away from him and would be for the next hour and a half, forced to listen to whatever he had to say but all of a sudden he didn't know how to begin a conversation anymore. He stressed and stressed internally, sitting there as everyone else filled into the classroom, and he was running out of time before Slughorn slithered in and ruined his one free chance without the hindrance of work. '_Do it! Do it now_!' he pushed himself on the inside.

"Willow…" He eventually said.

"Yes Barty…" She said straightening her vials, not looking at him.

"I'm really sorry about what happened."

"No you're not."

"What?" He asked slightly taken aback.

"You're not sorry." She said turning to face him for the first time. "Don't sit here and apologize to me when you're not sorry."

"But I am sorry…" he whined as the room got nosier as more students arrived.

"No you're not sorry, Barty. If you were sorry you wouldn't still be hanging around Bella, now would you?"

"Willow, please, she's my friend too."

"Oh, she's your friend now, is she? Last week she was dead to you and I was your best friend. Last week I meant the world to you and this week you ditch me to go hang out with her behind my back the minute we have a fight."

"It wasn't like that!"

"Then tell me what it was like then!"

"Everyone be quite its time for class," Slughorn said waltzing into class just in the nick of time to ruin everything. "Nathanial sit down, time to be quiet and get out your notes from last class. Let me see, where were we…"

The next fifteen minutes were cruel torture. All he wanted was to explain to Willow what had happened. He felt so bad and she just sat there clenching her fist and brooding while Slughorn spoke. Once Slughorn released them to do their work he was talking a mile a minute to Willow.

"Willow, I didn't mean to hurt you, honestly I didn't. Bella followed me out onto the grounds and we got to talking. I need more friends than just you, you told me that. I need to see my old friends."

"I said friends, I didn't say her." She said angrily.

"But she is my friend."

"After all she did to me, you go and do this. I can't believe…"

"You told me you wanted me to make up with my friends."

"I didn't mean her."

"When I was telling you how I wanted to stop being friends with her you were the one who told me you didn't want me to stop being friends with anyone because of you. You said that." She looked at him angrily then opened her book forcefully and flipped the pages so roughly to find the page written on the chalkboard that some of the pages tore. "Willow please," he said as she read the page intently before pulling vials out of her box and slamming them on the table top so hard he was afraid they were going to shatter. "Willow stop," he said grabbing her hand and forcing her stop, he was so afraid she was going to shatter one in her hand. The last thing he wanted was her injured. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just missed my friends. I know Bella hurt you, and I'm sorry, but can't you please forgive me." She turned and looked at him, her big eyes were tearing up slightly and he felt crushed inside. "Please, Willow… please."

"No Barty." She said simply shaking off his hand that was still holding her and she put the vial down gently and began searching for the rest of the ingredients.

"Sweetheart, please. Give me another chance."

"I've given you plenty of chances Barty, more than you deserved, and every time you just disappointed me. I thought we said this friendship was built on a one time forgiveness that was never going to have to be used again."

"I'm a fuck up, I'm sorry. What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you, Barty." She said turning away from him and beginning to crush seeds.

"Sweety please…"

Her head whipped toward him at an alarming rate, her eyes large and angry. "Do not call me sweety, I am not your girlfriend, I am not your friend. Leave me alone and help me with this potion." And that was the last thing they said to each other all class.

He sat next to her the rest of the period silently and dejectedly helping her with the potion. It earned them high marks at the end of class because they did work well together and neither of them put up a fuss about working together even after their fight. He just went along and did whatever she wanted because he felt so bad. As soon as class was dismissed Willow was gone in an instant and he didn't even have the chance to say anything else to her. Again he had no idea what to say, but he felt like he should say something. He didn't' want things to be like this between them. It hurt so much he didn't know what to do.

It was dinnertime but he had no appetite so he just went back to the common room. Even after all that had happened he didn't really feel like crying. Maybe the full force of it all hadn't hit him yet like it would later, or, as everyone hopes, they won't cry at all and maybe they're just moving on. He knew the latter was defiantly not true, but he foolishly hoped anyways.

So he sat down on one of the leather sofas and began his course work. As he worked through his transfiguration essay, he slowly felt more and more depressed. He struggled on and by the time it was done he left all his workbooks open on the table and laid himself down on the couch and mindlessly stared at the ceiling. It wasn't but a few minutes until the room began filling with people finished with dinner. He ignored them all until they stopped ignoring him.

A face appeared above him and looked down at him curiously. "You alright, Barty?" Bella asked.

"I'm not sure anymore." He replied tiredly and then sat up.

Bella looked at him worried for a moment before she sat down on the couch beside him. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"

'_No,_' his mind immediately answered, but he didn't feel like being quite so distant today. "Willow said she doesn't want to be my friend anymore," he answered her truthfully.

"Awe, that's a shame," she said managing somehow to sound sad even though he knew for a fact she wasn't in the least.

"I just don't know what to do," he breathed, managing to sound at least half as depressed as he was.

"What can you do? She doesn't want to be friends, move on."

"But I really lo… liked her."

"So? Get a new girl, a better girl. It'll make you feel better immediately, I just know it."

"I don't want another girl, I don't want to date just to date… I just want to be happy." He moaned. His whole body was starting to ache from his broken heart. He just wanted the day to be over.

"Well, dating makes a lot of people happy." She answered trying to sound hopeful for his sake.

"Who the hell would I date though? I don't know any girls." He bitched, merely trying to get her off his back. He didn't need this right now. He wanted to go to bed and sleep through this misery.

"Well," she said making a face as she thought, "we could always date."


	19. The Howler

Every single alarm was going off in his head. Every single warning light, blaring siren, and subconscious voice was screaming at him, '_IT'S A TRAP!_' His subconscious wasn't very active even in the best of times. He was the most socially awkward person ever, especially with girls. He never knew what they wanted or needed from him. Fine-tuning over many years though had made him very sensitive to knowing the code to things Bella said to him. He always knew when he was in trouble or needed to watch his back with her. Even if all else failed, he knew she was playing some angle against him and it was best to steer clear of any hazardous situation period.

There was no more a hazardous situation than this one.

He had no idea what angle she was playing at, what she really meant by that, or if she felt anything real for him. All he knew was that he needed to get away fast, and flee quickly while avoiding any landmine she had planted and would go off in his face if he said the wrong thing.

"Umm…" Was all he managed to stutter as his brain screamed a million different things at him at once. He was so confused as his mind whirled spinning his thoughts around a mile a minute. There was no way he could ever date her. He wasn't fully sure what love felt like yet. He was still struggling with his feelings for Willow. He didn't know what they were but he knew he had them. He had them for Willow. He didn't have that connection with Bella. He didn't share any of the feelings he felt for Willow with her. There was one feeling he knew he had for her and that was fear. He didn't know a lot but he knew he couldn't love someone he was afraid of. This made him dislike the situation even more. He didn't want to be here, having this conversation. He felt like he wanted to throw up.

"I mean," Bella began to extrapolate for him. He wished she wouldn't, he was feeling queasy. He didn't like being put on the spot like this. He just wanted her to start laughing and it all to be one big joke and make fun of him for believing it even for a second. It was absurd. "We've been best friends since our first year here, we get along really well most of the time, nearly everyone thinks were dating anyways… I say, why not give it a go."

'_No! Don't give it a go_!' His mind screamed. Thank God he knew how to censor his mouth, because that surely would have gotten him slapped. He knew he looked like a startled owl, eyes wide and twitchy. He needed to come up with something to say, and fast. The answer was no. The answer was hell no. The answer was never in a million years. Alas that was all he could think but he couldn't say any of that to her, she would pummel him. A black eye was the last thing he needed atop detention and Willow's ice cold shoulder.

Think, think, think! He had to let her down gently, yeah! That was it… lie. Say something crafty, make something up. What should he say though? '_Anything_,' his mind answered him. Anything that wasn't the truth, which was she repulsed him.

"Barty?" She said making him break out of his intricate thought process. "What do you think?"

"I…" He began, the wheel still turning so fast it was smoking and the hamster was on fire. "I don't think that's a good idea." Yes! Perfect! No detail, straight forward…

"Why not?" FUCK! He didn't want to explain, he wanted to be left alone!

"It's…" He began not really knowing how to put into words how he felt that would also not get him killed. "We've just had so many fights lately, that it's probably not… best to try for more when even our friendship is… shaky." Nailed it!

"Yes we have fights everyone does, but we work through them quickly, we always do. I think that shows were committed to one another."

"Yeah, as friends. I like you, as a friend, but I don't think I can be in a relationship right now." He said starting to loose his clever edge.

"Why not?"

'_Because I'm in love with someone else you insane bitch!_' He wanted to scream. She knew he was really into her, how is dating someone else instead of the one you care for ever that equivalent. He wasn't a playboy. He didn't just want a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. He wanted Willow because he felt a connection with her that he had never felt with anyone else and that at least was worth exploring. He did not want to explore the brand new world of dating with Bella, that she would inevitably fill with anger, hatred and pain. He wanted to feel loved, not be afraid of everything. He got enough of the bad stuff from her in daily life, what about that would change if they were lovers? She would only control him more and push everything wholesome, A.K.A. Willow, out of his life for good. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't!

"I just don't want to. I'm not a dater. I tried with Willow and look how fast that blew up in my face. I do not want to go for round two already. I learned my lesson; me plus relationships is a bad idea. I'm warding them off altogether." It all came tumbling out of his mouth, but it didn't sound like a half bad idea. Maybe he just wasn't meant for dating, because he had tried with Willow, a girl he knew he could actually love and care for, and now she hated him. Besides, alone he couldn't get hurt, right?

"Even with Willow?" Was that the light at the end of the tunnel he saw? Was this nightmare almost over? Play into Bella's hand, he thought, and it will all be over.

"Well she won't even speak to me now, what chance do I have, really?" Her face started to brighten at this so he ran with it. "Besides, even if she did speak to me again, she made it clear she's not interested in me. Why waste my time trying again? Besides I'd probably be crap in the relationship anyways."

Bella didn't answer right away and a large lump grew in his throat. Did it work? Did she buy it? Was she going to punch him? '_Say something_!' "Well, you are crap."

"Thank you?"

"You're rather useless, Barty, but you do need someone who will appreciate you."

"I'll settle for appreciating myself."

"I suppose, but you should give up on Willow. She's a dirty little bitch, no question." He wanted to hurt her for saying this but he knew that would not get him out of his situation so he merely nodded and let her go on as she picked up her feet and sat Indian style beside him. "I've never liked her, I've always said she was trouble. I told you you were going to get hurt but you didn't want to listen."

"Yeah…"

"I guess I can't stop you when you want to put your foot in a bear trap, but you should listen to me from now on, Barty. It's for your own good. Stay away from her. She will bring you nothing but pain."

'_You bring me nothing but pain_,' his mind said but the words that came out of his mouth read, "Okay."

"Good. I'm really glad you're finally starting to listen to me." She said and their conversation drifted off into silence. When she turned away from him he quickly began packing up his things. "What are you doing?" She asked and he stopped like a deer in headlights. He didn't want to seem like he was trying to get away from her as fast as he could, but he wanted to get away from her as fast as he could.

"Um… just going to bed." He said with his fist full of quills, afraid to put them away now.

"Bed. Damn it, Barty. This is your fifth early night this week."

"I like to get to bed early."

"Oh, don't… stay down here. Let's chat. We haven't chatted in ages." She said taking a hold of his arm and squeezing it as she leaned into him. He couldn't help but notice she was thrusting her full chest at him. He was only a man after all, but he managed to look away quickly.

"I think I'm just going to go to bed. I am really tired." He lied trying to look anywhere but her chest, so he fiddled with the quills in his hand.

"Oh fine. Promise me we'll talk tomorrow." She said loosening her grip on him so he quickly threw the rest of his possessions in his bag.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll do our astronomy homework together." He said not looking at her.

"Great!" She said suddenly becoming really chipper. "Without you as my study partner I've discovered I'm really shit at most my classes. I'm nearly failing Potions!"

"Well, we'll just have to fix that won't we?" He said flashing her a bright smile, trying to be kind but he immediately regretted it. She smiled hugely at him too, and he realized she had taken what he had said as flirting with her. Shit.

"Oh your so lovely, Barty, thank you." She said kneeling on the couch beside him, towering over him. She lurched at him before he had time to get away and grabbed his shoulder and head and pulled him into an awkward sideways hug. It was no accident what she was doing. There was no accident in her pressing his head into her breasts as she squeezed him.

He stayed still for a second, as long as a brief embrace should last before he pulled away despite her clinginess. "Yeah, see you tomorrow." He said grabbing his tote and sprinting towards the dormitory stairs. Was it rude to run away? He didn't care, that conversation was long dead, and he had to wash his face now. He could still smell her cleavage. He shuttered slightly and decided to take a shower instead.

The whole encounter disgusted him, but it didn't stop him from enjoying his shower and his now frequent fantasies about Willow. He felt a bit bad about it on principal, but his excuse was he was a horny teenage boy, and he couldn't help it.

The new day came quickly but the morning was still filled with his old worries. He didn't know how to fix his relationship with Willow, it was futile, but that seemed to be the only thing he could think about. Since there was no solution, he merely felt bad instead.

He drug himself mindlessly to breakfast and decided to stop punishing himself and ate heartily. Eggs, toast, sausage… He had already downed enough food for two people by the time Bella arrived at the table. He didn't see her before she wrapped her arms around him giving him a hug before she sat down beside him. "What was that for?" He asked whipping sausage grease away from his mouth. Today he didn't care about what he looked like. He was depressed so he didn't care if he was eating like a pig. He felt like one anyways.

"Oh, no reason." She said smiling and getting real close to him. When he finally fully looked at her he noticed she was dressing rather provocatively today. Not that she didn't dress a bit skanky every day, it just seemed a little more apparent this morning. He hoped it wasn't for him. He wanted whatever last night was about to be over already.

He made a gruff sound at her in reply and began cutting up more food on his plate. Bella kept leaning in to him which was making it hard to cut his food. "Do you mind, Bella." He said slightly angry. She scowled at the tone he took with her, but he just wanted her to back off, he didn't care what it took.

"Your in a nasty mood this morning." She said to him as she moved away.

"Yeah, so fuck off and leave me alone." He said angrily turning back to him food.

"Fuck you too, Barty." She said sounding hurt.

"I will, and I'll enjoy it." He said shoving a whole sausage in his mouth and began cutting his eggs when he just happened to look up and caught the eye of the girl he loved all the way across the room.

She was looking at him, but she didn't look angry or upset. Her countenance was blank and somehow that hurt more than a sneer. He looked away before she did, and solemnly put the large piece of egg he had been cutting into his mouth. Suddenly the delicious eggs tasted like rubber in his mouth and chewing felt like such a tasking chore. His appetite that a moment before was seemingly endless hit a dead stop and he felt the full weight of all the food on his stomach. He felt sick and it was so hard to swallow the food in his mouth and fight the instinct to spit it out. He didn't feel well at all anymore. He had eaten way too much, and his feelings were squeezing him at odd angles and making it worse. He pushed his plate away just as the morning owls began to arrive.

"Not hungry, Barty?" Bella asked as a neat little letter floated down in front of her, probably from her parents.

He didn't answer her and was about to get up and leave when a scarlet letter floated down into his lap. Fuck. He picked up the small envelope and noticed it was already quite hot. This meant the letter was bursting, just waiting to scream at him. He didn't have to read, he knew exactly whom the Howler was from and why.

Bella's eyes grew large with pleasure, excited to see him get screamed at in front of the whole school. He knew exactly how these things worked, having received many in the past, and hurried out into the corridor to try and get as much privacy as he could before it burst. He had only just made it outside the double doors of the great hall before the heat bit his hand and he was forced to let the letter go.

The hallways were anything but clear yet as people were still heading to breakfast, and a small crowd had followed him from the great hall. He already felt embarrassed beyond belief but there was no helping it now. The letter rose before him in the air and opened itself and a scream emitted from it immediately yelling, "BARTIUMS CROUCH JR!" His fathers voice echoed throughout the stone corridor, amplifying the volume ten fold.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? TWO WEEKS OF DETENCHION! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO BRING YOU HOME FROM SCHOOL THIS INSTANT! YOU INSOLENT DISRESPECTFUL CHILD! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE, TO HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM CHILD WITH MY POSITION AT THE MINISTRY? YOU MAKE ME ASHAMED! YOUR HEAD OF HOUSE TOLD ME YOUR GRADES ARE BEGINNING TO SUFFER TOO. IF YOU DON'T STOP ACTING FOOLISH IMMEDIATELY AND GLUE YOUR NOSE TO YOUR SCHOOL WORK, I'M TAKING YOU OUT OF HOGWARTS! YOU HEAR ME! IF YOU DON'T STRAIGHTEN UP THIS INSTANT YOU WILL BE ON THE NEXT SHIP TO DURMSTRANG!"

The letter sizzled and hissed and then set fire to itself while his father's last words still echoed around the hall. He stood as still as a stone and for a moment all was quiet and he never felt emptier and void of emotion or life. Then the whispers began, and he looked around and noticed quite a large portion of the school standing around gawking at him and muttering behind there hands as the ashes of his father's letter fell to the floor.

He didn't bother looking around to see exactly who had witnessed his embarrassment. He especially didn't want to look and see Willow looking at him and judging him with her perfect eyes. He couldn't bear it, he couldn't bear any of it, so he pushed his way through everyone and ran out of the school.

He ran and ran until he was at the far end of the stone courtyard. He was so glad everyone was still at breakfast and still would be for a long time because he needed to be alone. Not a soul's breath disturbed the courtyard but his own. Tears were already running down his cheeks and he stopped beside one of the half walls and leaned against the pillar there. His stomach lurched violently and he remembered how ill he had felt before the letter. Everything was falling on him all at once and he couldn't keep it in anymore. He leaned over the wall and heaved and heaved until all the contents of his stomach were on the ground.

He continued to heave even though his stomach was empty and eventually he began spitting and hacking trying to rid his mouth of the awful taste. Eventually he stood upright and whipped his mouth off on his robes as he leaned against the pillar and continued to weep. He felt so ashamed for crying in public where anyone could stumble upon him but he just couldn't help it. He had let his whole life fall to shit and he couldn't see the bright side to any of it. Everything hurt and nothing was okay.

He held his eyes shut, preferring darkness to the world that hurt him every day. Tears continued to seep through the cracks in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks in big droplets. He breathed hard as he openly sobbed and when he opened his eyes to try and regain some of his composer he saw her.

She was standing at the other end of the courtyard watching him, and even through his blurry eyes she looked beautiful. At seeing her, he immediately tried to stand straighter and he wiped at his eyes. He didn't want her to see him this way. Before he could even contemplate why she was here she was running towards him and then she was holding him as he began to cry into her hair.

It was that easy, without a word between them everything was mended. They didn't have to try to become comfortable with one another again, it just came naturally. They fit together as easily as two puzzle pieces, perfectly made for one another.

"It's okay, Barty. I'm here." She said sweetly rubbing his back and holding him close while he bawled uncontrollably. No one had ever seen him cry before, let alone held him while he cried. It was such a drastically different feeling; being comforted. She felt so nice against him he just wanted to hold on to her forever.

He held onto her tightly, really tightly. He knew he was probably hurting her but she didn't say anything and just let him hold onto her. He just couldn't make himself stop crying. He wanted to stop. He didn't like this, being this vulnerable. He didn't like being weak, he was meant to be the strong one. She was the woman for Merlin's sake. He was the one who was supposed to comfort her while she cried, yet she was the one cradling him. It made him feel worse which didn't help his tears.

She was so patient and kind with him though. She let him nuzzle into her neck while he cried and didn't say a word against his needs. Eventually she began stroking the back of his head softly, running her fingers through his hair and massaging his scalp. She did this in time while she rubbed his back and it felt so soothing that his tears began to dry up. He still felt beyond shattered and like he could cry for hours more, but she was sopping up his pain like a sponge. With such ease she was taking away his pain and making him feel good.

She didn't even stop after he had stopped bawling and he actually had to pull away from her a little before she stopped. He merely removed his head from her shoulder; he refused to move away from her by any other means by even an inch. He wasn't ready to put any space between them, and he didn't know if he ever would.

He finally got to look into the face of his strong woman. He knew she was stronger than he was. He knew it took one hell of a woman to put up with him. He didn't know how he could ever repay her for all she gave him, for coming to him in his greatest time of need even after all he did.

She gave him the tiniest smile and brought her hand up to his cheek and began whipping away his tears. "I'm so sorry, Willow." He said tears beginning to fall from his eyes again, he felt so bad about what he did to her.

"I'm sorry too." She said casually as she cleaned his cheeks with the edge of her sweater.

"You don't need to be sorry, it was all my fault." He said letting fresh tears fall over his clean cheeks, but this time she left them alone and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I shouldn't have been so mean to you. I know you didn't mean it." She said leaning in and kissing him on the cheek before just resting against him in this long embrace they still shared. "I missed you so much, Barty."

"Not as much as I missed you." He pouted as his tears finally ceased again. "Will you forgive me?"

"I already have."

They stayed there like that for a long time, him holding onto her gently while she rested against his chest. It was so lovely he wanted them to be like this always. If only he had enough courage to ask her out, then everything would be perfect.

"This is really nice, I wish we could stay like this all day." He couldn't help but mutter after awhile. He felt pathetic, because of all the things he felt for her this was the only one he had courage enough to say aloud.

"Me too."

"What time is it do you think?"

"Nearly time for class, I imagine." She said softly as if she were about to fall asleep on him, even though they were standing up. He would love it if they could spend all day together and just find some quiet spot to sleep, but he had to get to class. His father made it clear his life was going to be over if he ever set another toe out of line. Even if today was the day he might be able to convince Willow to ditch and stay with him, he just couldn't.

"I need to go. I need to clean myself up before class, or at least brush my teeth."

"Why is that?" She asked still not shifting from her place against his chest, and he didn't mind even though they did need to part.

"I don't wanna say," he said, feeling embarrassed.

"Please tell me. I don't like it when you keep things from me. Will your promise to never keep something from me if I ask?" He sighed loudly. She was good. She knew he felt bad for all that had happened and that he would do just about anything for her. The truth, always, was a hard one, but she did ask.

"Of course, darling. I promise."

"I'm waiting…" She said looking up at him from her place on his chest and idly drawing on his sweater with her finger. She was such a little vixen, but he loved her.

"When I fist came out here, I kind of… vomited, a bit, or a lot." He said ashamed. "I need to clean up. I must be stinking something awful."

"I don't think you smell bad."

"That's kind of you to say, but I feel bad for breathing on you. I must reek."

"I don't mind it," she said pulling away from him so that their eyes met, "honest." Then she leaned in and kissed him.


	20. Just Friends

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't posted in so long, I know, I'm sorry. I'm back in school at the moment so all my time and energy goes into not failing my classes. I would love to just write on this story but I don't think my Professors wouldn't like that very much, and it wouldn't help my GPA. But I still need my sanity and writing this story helps, so I will write whenever I have the time. So as always, sorry for the rambling and thanks for reading and those who stay loyal to the story, you're my favorites. Anyways, thanks and Enjoy!**

The kiss only lasted a mere moment before she was gone. Her plump lips caressed his briefly before she pulled away and muttered something about breakfast and class and hurried off without waiting for him to reply. It was good she did too for he really didn't think he would be capable of speech for quite a long time.

He didn't remember deciding to begin walking towards class, but found himself meandering down the corridors. Even though his father's words were the very last thing on his mind he supposed they were still motivating him at the back of his mind and telling him to get a move on. He forgot all about brushing his teeth and 'straightening up.' What did any of that matter right now? The girl of his dreams had just kissed him. He was soaring high right now so he could care less what he looked like, he didn't have any classes with Willow today.

He sat at the back of his Charms class and avoided Bella's glares. He wanted to be alone with his work and his thoughts today, although thoughts came fist and work second. It took far too long for him to change his goblet from gold to silver, but he achieved his work by the end of the hour so that he didn't get another angry letter home to his parents.

For once in his life he didn't mind having double History. The Professor droned on and on and gave him a chance to zone out and reflect on his morning. Willow kissed him, he wasn't hallucinating, she actually kissed him. He felt like he could concur the world. This was it, she liked him. Even after all he had done, even though she was angry with him she came to him when he needed her most. He could literally feel his heart swelling with joy. She cared about him, she defiantly liked him. Maybe she even loved him too. No… But maybe she would, one day. Now if he could only have some of her courage and ask her out. He should do it today. What other time would he have? Today was the perfect day. She had kissed him, that had to mean something.

Suddenly his heart began beating fast, pounding in his chest for an entirely different reason. Was he really going to go through with this? Asking a girl out. More importantly asking Willow out. Merlin, he had to start taking large deep breaths to avoid having a panic attack in the middle of class. He had never had even the vaguest of interest in girls before her, well, he liked girls well enough, he was defiantly not gay, but no particular girl ever did it for him. And so he had convinced himself it was fine, being alone. He was good alone, no one could hurt him alone. But it was Willow. He felt he had never wanted anything more than he wanted her.

What if she said no? Could he live with that? Probably. He couldn't miss what he never had, right? He just had to phrase it in a way that wouldn't have her running for the hills, just in case the feeling wasn't mutual. Maybe a simple, "hey, would you mind…" no, no, too stupid. "I really fancy you." No! What if she didn't fancy him, that would just scare her. How about, "I kind of like you, and I was wondering if you would like to, maybe, go out with me." Perfect. Non-threatening, and if she said no, he'd try his best not to cry. But what if she said yes? What if she said yes!

The thought made him sicker to his stomach than if she slapped him and ran away. He wasn't used to getting the things he wanted. What did boyfriends even do anyway? Kissing? Lots of snogging for sure, maybe she'd let him shag her one day, but what else? Not only had he never dated, he had never paid particular attention to any other couple in the school. What would be different if tomorrow he had to start living like her boyfriend? He was sure she would know, she knew everything, but he felt too mortified to ask her. He was a man, he should know this stuff, but he didn't. Maybe he'd wait a week or so, try not to fuck up their relationship in the meantime then ask her. He sure as shit wasn't going to cry in front of her then ask how to be a boyfriend on the same day. Maybe he could ask Bella, she sure did have a lot of boyfriends. No, she wouldn't help him. She'd probably tell him the wrong things out of spite.

The thought petrified him, but he had to do it. Yes? Yes. He wanted her so much he didn't know how he could live a moment longer without an answer. She liked him, she had to. She kissed him. You don't kiss people you don't like. No? No. He just had to be strong and try not to vomit again. He could do this. No, he couldn't do this. What if she said no? What if she said hell no? Wasn't it better to live in wonder than be rejected? Fuck, he didn't know, and now class was over. He had wasted his entire morning thinking but he still had no firm conclusion.

He got up slowly and began solemnly putting his things away when the last thing he needed right now approached him. "How are you feeling, Barty? You've looked out of sorts all morning."

"I'm fine." He replied to Bella, slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading to lunch. Perhaps he would see Willow. Maybe if he just got it over with and asked her he would feel better. At the very least he'd have an answer.

"Are you sure? You kind of ran off this morning after that letter from your father. You wanna talk about it?"

"No, no. I'm fine."

"Really? You've been kind of distant all morning."

"I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, shit. Can't I have two seconds to myself?"

"Don't get your knickers in such a twist Barty, for Merlin's sake."

"Listen, I'm fine, don't worry about me." He said as they approached the Great Hall and he began to feel excited.

"What is that awful smell?"

"I don't smell anything." He said turning to her.

"Shit, Barty, your breath is well rank. What have you been eating, dragon turds?"

"Fuck. Is it that bad?" He asked as Bella covered her face with the sleeve of her robe.

"Yes."

"Shit, I need to go brush my teeth." He said as he saw Willow pass before them into the Great Hall, Faith at her side.

"I'd say so." Bella said coughing and taking a step away from him.

"I'll be right back." He said dashing away towards the dungeons.

"I'll save you a seat."

"Cheers." He said over his shoulder. He went as fast as he could up into his dorm where he bushed his teeth quickly. Then, unhappy with the rest of his appearance, he washed his face and combed out his hair and even changed his jumper. He looked quite a disheveled mess. He had to look his best if he was going to ask Willow out.

By the time he stumbled back down to the Great Hall not only had all the food disappeared, everyone was leaving. It was such a commotion of people he didn't know where Willow was. Shit! He needed to speak to her before he lost his courage.

"Barty!" A cheerful voice called out to him.

"What, Bella!" He asked angrily, his eyes continuing to search through the sea of people.

"You missed lunch, what the hell were you doing?"

"Shaving, none of your business, have you seen Willow?"

"For fucks sake Barty, let it go, she doesn't want to be your friend."

"Yeah, that's not what it sounded like this morning." He said with a cheeky grin before he remembered his life was none of her business for a reason.

"What?"

"Nothing…" He said giving up searching for his love and began sulking off towards class with Bella on his heels. He'd have to catch her at dinner.

"When did you speak with her?"

"This morning. She came and found me after the whole Howler disaster and we made up. Isn't that nice?"

"And why do you need to find her now?"

"Oh, just wanted to ask her something."

"What kind of something, Barty?"

"A personal something."

"Fucking hell, Barty." She said beginning to stomp off.

"What?" He called after her.

"Here," she said returning to him and shoving a sandwich in his hand. "Since you missed lunch. It's ham and cheese, your favorite." She said before she turned and left him, dashing off to class before he could say a word.

Fucking women. He would never understand them, of that he was sure.

~Later that day~

Dinner couldn't arrive soon enough, but when it did Barty was still weary and had worked himself up into a frenzy. He was leaving himself no other option, he had to ask her out. The only problem was the mere idea of speaking those words to her was giving him a panic attack. He felt like he was breathing extra heavy and every part of his body was now awkward. Why did he have to have such a big nose and small girly lips? Were his eyes too bulgy, teeth too large? What was English and how does one speak it? He had had a speech ready for her, the perfect words to say, and now they were all gone. God, what was he getting himself into!

He found his body walking into the Great Hall regardless. He had to suck it up and do it now. He took a few deep breaths and walked over to the Ravenclaw table. He reached out and tapped his darling on the shoulder. She turned in what seemed like slow motion and looked up at him with a bright lovely smile. "Barty…" She said happily. Talk, it was time for him to speak. Where were his words?

"Can I speak to you for a mom-ent?" He asked, his voice cracking and going high pitch as if he was going through puberty again. Those at the table who were listening to him snickered behind their hands, except his darling Willow. If he was his usual self he would have started a fight with the others, but for the moment he was trying very hard on getting oxygen to his brain because he felt very dizzy and unwell.

"Sure." His love said brightly and got up and followed him out into the corridor. Best get it out quickly, he thought. Quick, like a spell. Once cast, it was over.

"I was really like you wondering would you go with me like please and stuff." He said so fast even he was unsure what he ended up saying. Fuck it was hot in here. He was suddenly very aware of his ears. They were so hot. What was wrong with his ears!

"What?" She asked with a large uncertain smile. Merlin, she was pretty. What was he thinking?

"Um, nothing. How was your classes today?" He mumbled quickly, trying to recover from such a wretched fail.

"Fine." She giggled a little. "Would you like to take a walk?"

"Um, yeah. That sounds smashing." Smashing? Who the fuck was he? Merlin, what was happening to him? At least it was cold out on the grounds. Maybe out there in the cold he could get his thoughts together. At the very least his ears wouldn't be quite so hot.

"Oh look, it's snowing." She said cheerily.

"Yea-yes. It's quite pretty." He mumbled, the cold wind biting his exposed skin. They would probably wake up to a couple of inches tomorrow morning. First he had to make it through this conversation.

"And quite cold." She said with a pout, moving closer to him.

"Would you like to go back indoors?"

"No, no. So how are you feeling?"

"Not so good actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… I've been thinking about you…"

"Have you?"

"Ye-Yes." He said, his voice breaking again and going awfully high pitched. He moved away from her slightly as they walked. He was too embarrassed and her proximity was not helping him get a clear head. "It's just… I don't know how to say it… It feels so strange, but I…"

"I know what you mean."

"You do?" He asked stopped and so did Willow.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to speak to you about this morning, but you weren't at lunch." She said sounding downtrodden.

"I had to…"

"It doesn't matter. Listen." Fuck. No good sentence ever started with listen. "About this morning, I've been wanting to talk to you about our… um, kiss." She said not looking at him. Suddenly he was no longer hot, but insanely cold. He didn't like where this going. His churning stomach stopped and the butterflies in his chest went into hiding.

"I wanted to… talk to you about that too." He said, although he wasn't sure why.

"It was an accident."

"Accident?" The best five seconds of his life thus far was an accident! Oh Merlin… He was feeling hot again but not in a good way.

"No, that's not what I meant." She said getting flustered herself. "I just mean, I don't want things to be weird between us. I just want us to be friends. I don't want to make stuff between us complicated."

"Then why did you kiss me?" He asked very slowly.

"I just wanted to comfort you, and I just thought it might help." She said looking ashamed.

"Do you kiss lots of people then?" He asked beginning to feel angry that he meant nothing to her.

"No… Never… I just wanted to help you, I care about you, Barty, a lot."

"I care about you too, Willow." He said feeling like his spirit was left out in the cold.

"Are we still friends?" She asked pouting at him.

"Of course we are." He said breaking down for her again. "We'll always be friends."

"Great. You know I really did miss you Barty. You're my best friend, and I don't want to loose you."

"And you're mine. I'm glad you forgave me."

"I don't want you to go to Dumstrand." She said pouting, her eyes looking glassy.

"I don't want to go either."

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Oh, you'd be fine. You have all your friends. You have Faith. I think she'd be glad if I was gone, actually." He said trying to smile even though it hurt his heart.

"No I wouldn't." She said tearing up. "I never want to fight again. I couldn't bear if you left and we were fighting. I just couldn't bear if you left at all." She cried, transparent tears dripping down her perfect cheeks.

"Sweety, please don't cry for me." He said reaching out and rubbing the droplets off her face. "They'll freeze and you'll catch cold, and then I'd have to miss all my classes to sit by your bedside, then I'll be sent to Dunstrand for sure."

"I just would miss you so much."

"Oh darling, come here." He said opening his arms to her, forgetting their transgression and needing to comfort her. She nearly ran into his arms and he wrapped them around her tightly, enjoying her proximity a little too much as she buried her head in his chest. "I'm not going anywhere."

He listened to her cry and began hating himself. What was he thinking, he didn't deserve her. She was far too good for him, she needed a man who could love her properly, not hurt her at every turn. Maybe this was all he needed, friendship. He didn't know the first thing about dating, he couldn't even be her friend without hurting her, how was he ever going to be capable of something more. Then what if he did totally fuck up their relationship and she left him. He could stand just being her friend, but he didn't know if he would be able to survive having her and growing to need her and then her leaving him. He could always love her as her friend, but he didn't know if he could live through a breakup. He needed her with him in some way, and the idea of her leaving forever killed him. So he hugged her tighter and declared to himself that they would never date. He was not that kind of person. He could not hurt her anymore. He would keep his stupid feelings to himself, and writhe alone in pain to save her.

"Better?" He asked her after a few minutes.

"I'm cold." She replied sadly.

"I'll walk you back in." He said and they moved back towards the castle without a word to one another. Once back inside she dusted the snow out of her hair and he brushed the flakes off his cloak before they melted. "I think I'm going to go, work on some homework so my father doesn't burst a vein and send me away."

"But what about dinner?"

"I'm not hungry." He answered honestly. His rollercoaster of emotions had taken all his desire for food away. He'd probably regret it by morning, but for now he doubted he could keep an olive down.

"Are you going to the Astronomy extra credit class tonight?"

"I wasn't planning on it. Why?" He asked dully, feeling his depression taking over his system. He needed a lie down, he didn't feel well.

"Oh, Faith and I are going. I need the points."

"I can come if you want me to." He said in a monotone voice.

"Only if you want."

"Eh, I could probably use the points. Doesn't hurt. Alright, I'll see you tonight, sugar." He said and without thinking he put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her forward and kissed her forehead lightly. Then he turned and left before another word could be exchanged.

He could worry about how she would take his gesture, but he didn't. He didn't want to care anymore. She didn't care for him in the way he did her, that was clear. He did have to learn to control his own emotions though, it wasn't appropriate. He'd have to start distancing himself from her. They were just friends, he had to remind himself. Just friends.


	21. The Ugly Truth

**Author's Note: I know I haven't updated it God knows how long, and there really is no excuse. I am trying to put myself on a more regular schedule for updating, because I do really like this story, its characters and where it is going. So hopefully I will stick to my plans for once. Anyways, on with the show.**

"Astronomy. I fucking said Astronomy!" Willow shrieked dramatically to Faith in their dorm room.

"Woah… F-bomb. What's wrong?" Faith replied.

"I've just ruined my fucking life, that's what's wrong!" Willow said dropping face first onto her bed and began trashing about with frustration.

"Let's back up this conversation, s'il vous plait. What's happened that's ruined your life?"

"It's Barty…" She moaned into the bed.

"Should I wear my wedges tomorrow so I can throw them at him?"

"No, no…" She said sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face. "It's really me, not him."

"I don't believe that for a second. What's he done?"

"Promise me you won't be angry with me."

"Let me rephrase my question, what have you done?" She inquired, looking a bit wild about the eyes.

"Well, Barty and I are friends now."

"What did you really do?" Faith asked, sniffing her out immediately.

"I sort of, maybe… kissed him."

"Bordel de merde."

"Huh?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" She said, slightly offended.

"What are you trying to do? Get yourself hurt?" Faith paused for a moment but when Willow didn't answer so she continued. "I don't know what you are looking for in this relationship. What do you expect is going to happen? You and him can't go a week without having a domestic and you aren't even dating. What do you think will happen if you date him? He is toxic. Get that through your head." Faith said, turning, and beginning to walk away.

"But I love him!" Willow blurted out without thinking and immediately regretted it. Faith turned on her so fast Willow thought she might get whiplash.

"You love him?"

"Yes." Willow stated matter o factly, taking a firm stance on the issue for once.

"You love him? Sweety you don't love him, you barely know him."

"Excuse me, I know him very well. He confides in me, I confide in him."

"You only started speaking two months ago. You do not know him."

"I know him better than you think. We speak all the time, I tell him everything. He's so kind and understanding and patient with me."

"I will accept that you like him, like him a lot, because you clearly do. I will accept that you have the major hots for him, but you do not love him. Two months does not love make."

"But…"

"You've liked him since our third year, I think you are just excited he's giving you attention. You love the attention he gives you, you don't love him. Just think about it." Willow really didn't have anything to say. Faith was right. She was being hasty with her feelings, and she was ashamed. "I mean, I'm glad you two can be friends but I think you need to wait before you rush into things."

"I guess I just really like him. I mean, I really feel like I have a connection with him, you know?" Faith sat down on the bed next to her.

"I think… you two, need to spend more time with one another not fighting before you make any rash decisions."

Willow sat there in silence with Faith for a long moment, neither of them speaking before she finally said the thing she couldn't push out of her mind. "He's friends with Bella again."

"Didn't we already know?"

"He said he forgives her and is going to remain friends with her despite all she's done, because he missed her." The last part stuck in her throat a little but she had to get it out. Had to admit what was really upsetting her. The fact Barty forgave the one person that hurt her most.

"He said this after you kissed him?"

"Before. Last potions class."

"Then why did you…"

"I don't know. I think I'm afraid of loosing him to her." There it was, the ugly truth.

"I don't mean to be cruel," Faith said slowly, "but that is a possibility."

Willow put her knees up to her chest and shrunk into herself a little.

"I mean," Faith continued, "they have so much more in common. They have the same house, same friends, they've been inseparable for years. You are trying to force yourself between something bigger than yourself."

"But he said, if he had to choose, he'd choose me."

"He didn't. He went back to her. He always will."

"I don't want to believe that."

"I know, but you need to hear it. While he is obviously harboring some sort of feelings for you, he is also clearly struggling with something else. Something that is not you, and honestly, I think its her."

"I just like him a lot." Willow half sobbed.

"I know you do. I just want you to be careful. You don't need to throw yourself at him, its only going to get you hurt. Like today, you kissed him and nothing happened. No man is that thick. If he was going to ask you out he would have by now."

Willow tucked her head between her knees and shut her eyes. She knew Faith was right, that's why it hurt so much. She really wanted Barty to be her knight in shinning armor, but the more time passed the more she was coming to realize she might have been the one to transpose that image upon him. That it was all just a façade that was slowly crumbling. She did truly care about him, and she felt like he cared too, most of the time, but sometimes that's not enough to make it work. The more time went on, the harder the relationship became, and after today, she really didn't think she wanted to try anymore. She was terrified of rejection, but also what it would mean if he did love her in return.

"Come on," Faith said patting her on the leg and she looked up. "Time for Astronomy. Don't want to be late." Faith said standing and pulling a scarf off their wardrobe.

"Barty said he was coming." Willow said solemnly as she slowly pulled herself up off the bed.

"Yippy for that," Faith said sounding less than excited as she grabbed her cloak and headed out the dormitory door.

-A Little Later-

Barty stood at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower stairs. His eyes were a little red and felt heavy. He had spent the majority of his afternoon crying alone and now he felt really drowsy. He wouldn't have come except he promised Willow he would be here, and he didn't want to break another promise to her so early, or ever again.

Bella also tried to stop him leaving, a number of excuses in hand. The first time she had seen him awake past nine in months, so time to party. Help me with my Transfiguration homework that's due tomorrow. It's cold outside and snowing. He ignored her, put on his furry deerstalker hat and left.

He hoped he had gotten here early enough. He wanted to talk to Willow before the lecture started. He didn't really know at this point what was left to say to her. He loved her, she didn't feel the same. There wasn't anything more to discuss, yet his heart ached for a resolution that seemed unattainable.

"Barty!" Came a chipper voice from his right and he looked immediately, excited, yet he should have known better. The pitch was unfamiliar so gave him false hope, yet it was Bella's voice that carried down the flagstone hallway. Her black button cape flowed around her whimsically, and Barty didn't like the way she was smiling at him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He yelled once she was by his side.

"Calm down, what's your problem?"

"Why did you have to show up tonight?" He whined.

"It's a free country, Barty. Besides, I could always use some points and I thought I'd keep you company." She said with a large smile.

"Ugh!" He groaned angrily.

"What is your problem?"

"I came here to spend time with Willow, and you are ruining it! You always ruin it!"

"For fuck's sake Barty! Why are you so hung up on her?"

"It's none of your business." He seethed through gritted teeth. "It would just be nice if for once I could go do something without you shoved up my ass." Bella started smiling deviously. "What are you smiling about?"

"Hey Willow." Bella said looking around his shoulder.

He felt like his heart nearly stopped. The last thing he needed was Willow catching him with Bella again. He slowly turned and saw Willow and Faith approaching them, all bundled up for the cold night air that awaited them at the top of the tower.

"I'll catch you later," Bella said to him with a hint of an attitude yet with a smirk spread across her features. He really, really hated her sometimes, he thought as she disappeared up the stairs.

"Hi." He said to Willow, all the nerves in his body vibrating hard.

"Hey." She said quietly. She didn't look pleased to see him. Not unhappy per-say, but a little sad.

She started to walk past him with Faith towards the stairs making him call out to her. "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

"I'll leave you two alone," Faith said calmly, continuing up the stairs and leaving her friend behind.

"What do you want to talk about?" Willow asked softly. He noticed she was having a difficult time looking at him. This hurt more than he felt it should.

"I don't know really, I just wanted to talk to you." He answered truthfully.

"Can't we do that any old time?"

"Yeah, I just…" He stammered, not being able to form a reason in his head to convince her to stay.

"We can talk tomorrow, yeah? I don't want to miss all the good spots," she said turning and he had no real choice but to follow her up the stairs.

They didn't even get a chance to make it to the roof before the cold wind greeted them. Once they breached the surface of the tower, he wondered why they were having an astronomy meeting at all. It was bitter cold, the sky was patchy with clouds, and their Professor was using his wand to clean up the fallen snow from earlier.

"I couldn't think of worse weather for stargazing, yeah?" He said lightly to Willow, trying to cheer her up. She looked at him blankly before sitting down on the floor next to Faith. His features, which he was trying to keep light for her benefit, fell, and he plopped down on the floor next to her.

Willow had already struck up a conversation with Faith so he just sat there, feeling left out and rejected. He caught Bella's eye from across the way and she motioned for him to come sit in the empty space beside her. He just shook his head sadly and turned his attention back to Willow. They were talking about some Ravenclaw boys he didn't know. Mostly about how stupid said person was, so it did make him feel a little better. At least she wasn't crushing on someone that wasn't him.

It wasn't long until the lecture began and they all laid back on the floor and watched as the Professor moved his wand and all the clouds in the sky drifted to one side, the moon alighting the dark ground and showing off the background of twinkling stars behind it.

He couldn't really pay attention to the lecture. He kept finding himself looking over at Willow. Her face was so beautiful as she listened serenely. It wasn't long before he became acutely aware of her hand lying oh so near his on the floor. It wasn't deep contemplation and planning that made his hand reach out for hers, it was love. That made it all the more painful when his mitted hand had barely slipped inside hers before she pulled it away, and crossed her arms over her chest. He turned his attention back to the sky and oh so suddenly he could not see the beauty or majesty of the stars. All he could see were the dark places in between. He didn't really know what he had done to upset her, but he couldn't help but think he had really fucked up big time.


End file.
